Parents talk about love, but in fact they are nakedly hurting!

In just a few minutes, every word touched my heart, and my eyes were inexplicably red after reading it. Not only because my mother once instilled in me the concept of \”swearing is love\” in the name of love as in the speech, but also because until now, such scenes have appeared again and again in life… Taking classmate Zhe for a physical examination , while waiting for the blood draw, a little girl\’s sharp cry came over: \”Mom, don\’t go, mom, don\’t go…\” Looking up, a young mother was pushing her daughter away at the door of the hearing test, angrily Rush outside. The little girl\’s face was full of tears, and she crawled and cried all the way to chase her mother. The mother neither picked up the child nor comforted her. Instead, she roared: \”Is there a child as embarrassed as you? I took a hearing test and no one else cried, but you! You are so cowardly and you still have the nerve to cry! You If you cry again, mommy won\’t want you anymore!!\” It\’s normal for a three or four-year-old child to resist internally when faced with something he has never experienced before. Some children are receptive to new things and may not cry, but not crying does not mean they are not afraid. And this little girl just needs time to accept it. If her mother had given her more encouragement, things might have been very different. But she took the most extreme, simple and crude way. The little girl might have to hold back her tears because she was afraid of losing her mother. testing, but the sense of security was severely compromised. When encountering similar things in the future, I will either cry harder or accumulate all the fears in my heart until I no longer trust my mother. From the perspective of adults, things like blood draws, vaccinations, vision tests, hearing tests, etc. are simple enough, but for unexperienced children, they may be no less frightening than a major surgery. I went back to my hometown a few days ago and took my mother for a check-up. She had never had a CT scan before. Before she went in for the check-up, she kept holding my hand tightly and shaking, and asked me repeatedly: \”Is it necessary to do it? If it\’s not necessary, just do it.\” I won\’t do it anymore…\” I understood that my mother was afraid inside. If I also scolded my mother severely in front of everyone, how many people would accuse me of being unfilial? S is a stay-at-home mother who is very concerned about her children\’s study and diet. When my child came back from an activity last Friday, she had prepared four dishes and one soup, with a reasonable nutritional balance of meat and vegetables. As a result, her son lost his appetite when he saw the \”clear soup with little water\” on the table, and began to act coquettishly: \”Mom, I\’ve been eating nutritious meals for a week. Can you accompany me to eat pizza today?\” S\’s son He likes to eat Western food, and he loves pizza, burgers, steaks, and pasta. However, S thinks the calories are too high, so he is only allowed to eat them twice a month. So no matter how busy she is at work, she still insists on cooking for her children. She is a good mother in our eyes. Who knew that as his son grew older, S became increasingly unable to control his son\’s diet. At the end of the quarrel that day, the son became anxious and started to directly attack his mother: \”You always say you won\’t let me be picky about food, but you yourself don\’t eat chopped green onions, sea fish, mutton, coriander, celery, or donkey meat. When did you eat these things? I eat this crappy food you made every day!\” S became so angry that he directly dumped the food on the table into the trash can and yelled at his ignorant son: \”I worked so hard to cook. It\’s not because you want to grow better, but you actually said this to me. From now on, you will do it every dayGo to a restaurant! \”To be honest, what S\’s son said is very right. S is very good at cooking Chinese food, but she is also really picky about food. When we go out to dinner, she is the one who has the most requests for dishes. No green onion, ginger, no chili, no coriander, etc. We all know that she doesn’t eat mutton. She has also complained many times that she and her husband have been married for many years, and she still doesn’t know how to adapt to her own taste when ordering food. I sent Lai Peixia’s video to S, and also attached a sentence: Dear, if in the future One day, when your son grows up, he brings a large bowl of mutton in front of you for you to eat. If you don\’t eat it, he will get angry, scold you for being ignorant, and even throw the meat into the garbage basket. Do you think he is doing it for you? A friend left a message backstage, saying that her 13-year-old daughter had recently been obsessed with reading novels. She was not allowed to read them at home, so she secretly read them at school. After learning that her daughter had put the novels in the classroom, she was even more furious. She rushed directly to her daughter’s classroom and read the novel. Three romance novels came out and she tore them to pieces in front of the whole class. What followed was a month-long cold war between her daughter and her. Until she left a message, her daughter had never taken the initiative to talk to her. She had something to do. She just wrote a note and put it on the coffee table. She said that she knew she was going a little too far, but she was also thinking about her daughter\’s study, but why is the child so ignorant? This friend\’s method was used by my mother before. At that time, I When I was in elementary school, I liked the little books that my parents thought were \”useless\”. It was a five-year elementary school, and I faced the junior high school entrance examination in the fifth grade, but I couldn\’t stop reading extracurricular books. My mother said that I I didn\’t listen twice, and the third time she couldn\’t bear it anymore and took all my little people\’s books to the kitchen and burned them on the fire… Looking back now, besides my mother not wanting me to interfere with my studies by reading \”idle books\”, the more important reason is that She was in a bad mood that day when she had an argument with her father, and I was caught at gunpoint and exposed… Until now, I still remember how desperate I felt when I saw the beloved little books being shattered into pieces, and how much I felt for my mother. A real hatred: She is not my mother at all! I would rather she was not my mother! Such violent restraint by parents, mothers tear or burn not only a few books, but also hurt our self-esteem, our Interest and love for something, and self-esteem, interest and love are the foundation of a person\’s happiness. When a child is born, every mother\’s hope is simple: good health. But as the child grows older, we hope He will be good, obedient, study well, understand our difficulties, understand our efforts… In order to meet our standards of \”good children\”, we will even ignore and hurt our children\’s self-esteem. Many young parents do not have enough emotional control. Well, by the way, I also reflected the ups and downs and sufferings of my own life on my children – if you can\’t hurt your neighbors, colleagues, and friends, just hurt the children who have no ability to resist and must rely on themselves to survive! Slowly, we use love In the name of love, children lose their spiritual home. Are the children we love so much really as bad as we think when we are angry? From another perspective, can we use more encouraging ways to express love? For example, the person at the beginning of the article died because of fear For children who refuse hearing tests, she is very cautious and can minimize the possible harm to her in her future work and life.Hurt; S\’s son likes to eat Western food and is very interested in all kinds of Western food ingredients. He is likely to grow into a boy with a great interest in life in the future. Girls who like to read novels may write novels like \”The Legend of Zhen Huan\” in the future as long as they are guided properly. Such an influential novel… In addition to good material conditions, children\’s growth requires nourishment from the fertile soil of the soul. We cannot trample on our children\’s self-esteem because their behavior is not what we want. No matter what kind of child, the best nourishment is the acceptance of parents. Not every child can score 100 points in the exam, just like not every parent has a successful career and cannot bloom like a flower. Being a green leaf also has its own splendor. Text | Yan Han’s mother