Parents who can’t take time off are ruining their children

A few days ago, a mother asked me if there were any literacy books for babies over two years old. I asked her why she was so anxious? \”All the mothers around me are like this. They say that if you can read at the age of two, you can read picture books by yourself by the age of four or five. It is better to learn to read early,\” she said. I said no, it\’s really not necessary. But she still said: \”Go and search online, because idle time is idle. It\’s good to learn more things, but you can\’t delay the child!\” Why can\’t the child be free? What about more time to play in the park, more time to play with his peers, and more time to do the things he likes? 2 Since we are talking about literacy for children over two years old. Then there is no getting around the topic of whether or not to send children to early education classes. Because many parents always schedule their children\’s life and study very full. Just look at the summer vacation schedule. Every two or three days there would be an enrollment flyer stuffed on the doorknob of our house. Various propaganda slogans stimulate your anxiety, as if not sending your children there would be a crime. \”The competition in society is so fierce. If we don\’t start from a young age, how can we have a competitive advantage among children of the same age in the future.\” This is a common mentality among parents today. To be honest, parents who think this way are really responsible for their children, not the type who just ignore them. This is true, who doesn’t want their children to be better? The key is how to do it. In fact, there are always endless competitors that we imagine or see in our children\’s classes. What are you going to use as the standard for comparison? For example, there is no comparison between cities and rural areas, first-tier cities and third-tier cities. If you have to compete, you will only make yourself miserable. Therefore, it is better to focus more on the characteristics of the child. Respect the child\’s personality and growth rhythm. Slow down, then slow down, no big deal. Especially before the age of 6, when children become interested, we can satisfy their curiosity and teach them common sense, but we cannot use these opportunities to force children to learn things that are not appropriate for their age. For example, when a three-year-old child becomes interested in a certain word one day, his parents wonder if he should continue to learn words. If one word is too few, add 10, 100, and more. In terms of study arrangements, I often say to Xiao Xiaoyu: \”Dad, I hope you can be more serious when studying, and when playing! Just play happily.\” Try to be relaxed and relaxed, and the children will not reject. Therefore, when a mother asked me whether I should read by pointing when parents and children read together, this would help their children recognize words. In fact, I don’t advocate finger reading because many children don’t like this method. It not only affects the interpretation of the story (for example, sometimes the rhythm of the story will be faster, and sometimes some performances will be added), but when children read picture books, most of them like to read pictures. If you point at the words and tell them, look at this, look at this, it will distract the children and interrupt their imagination of the graphics in their minds. So, at that time, I taught Xiao Xiaoyu how to read. I specially arrange a literacy time, and I can use some good literacy tools (such as high-quality word cards or Chinese character story books), and parent-child reading time is to read stories. I will teach my children to read when they are interested in words. OnlyIf you pay attention, you will definitely find that children are sometimes sensitive to Chinese characters. For example, when Xiao Xiaoyu was about 4 years old, he would often read the words on the posters in the elevator, and then ask me questions. At this time, you can talk to him about this word. The child will also say that he wants to write his name one day, then you can teach him to write his name (I will not force or arrange for him to write it next). Because my purpose is different, not to give my children a competitive advantage. It is just to let the child study seriously and happily, have real skills, and give him more choices in his life path. I hope he can live a happy life and be himself. Many times, you will say that the results are not the same, but the impact on the children is actually completely different. How to judge? Do you think the child is taking the initiative to ask questions and learn? Or do you force learning through cramming. 3 French Enlightenment thinker Rousseau said a very classic saying in \”Emile\”: \”In the order of all things, human beings have its place; in the order of life, childhood has its place, that is, adults should be regarded as Adults, treat children as children. Nature wants children to be more like children before they become adults. If we disrupt this order, we will produce a batch of premature fruits that are neither full nor sweet, and Soon it will rot and we will create some young doctors and senile children.” I often remind myself of this passage. Because if you are not careful, you will fall into a trap. Let the children learn this and that. I only know how to do addition, but don\’t think about doing subtraction, so that the children can have some leisure time. You will definitely find that when you are free, you will do things you would not normally do, you will discover some interesting things, and you will have some fresh ideas. And if you keep yourself busy all the time, creativity will disappear. So you can usually take your children to read some leisure books together! Why do we have to read professional books, and why do children have to read only the new curriculum standards? You can also leave enough time to daze! Sometimes the little fish will stare at toys or books on the sofa without moving, but don\’t disturb him. Because he is thinking, even if he is in a daze, don\’t think it is a waste of time. It is recharging the brain and makes him more creative. Sometimes he would spend an hour tinkering with something. When I think about whether to remind him to learn something (which happens a lot), I have to quickly remind myself to stop. It would be even better if your child can spend some time at the park on the weekends playing around with friends. Not only can you exercise your social skills, but you can also exercise your body. How wonderful! A child\’s physical and mental health is always more important than academic performance. When raising children, don’t aim at going to a prestigious school and getting ahead. And we must strive to raise our children to be physically and mentally healthy people who can study seriously and hard and have the opportunity to enjoy life and happiness. 4 Too many of our parents have been raising their children according to their own ideas, forgetting that they actually have their own choices. Therefore, we often ask our children to be obedient and do it from the standpoint of their parents. \”You have to work hard! Have you seen the hard work of your parents?\” \”You have to believe in the path your parents have chosen for you, because we know whatWhat’s best for you! \”Feng Zikai said: The soundest minds in the world are only the possessions of children. Only children can see the truth of things in the world most clearly and completely. What parents have to do is respect their children\’s own feelings, and The independent choices they made. Just imagine, how can a child develop the ability to make decisions on his own if his parents arrange various activities all day long and he has to listen to the teacher\’s instructions during the activities? In the long run, having the ability to think independently will Children who can make their own choices are better able to control their own lives, follow their inner guidance, and live happily. These are things that textbook knowledge and exams cannot provide, and parents cannot arbitrarily deprive them of them. Find ways to help your children retain these precious things.