Parents who don’t know how to say no are not good parents

Wilde once said: \”The best way to make children well-behaved is to make them happy. And most adults in this society are surprisingly stingy when it comes to making children happy.\” Making children happy includes material things. Enjoyment and spiritual satisfaction, however, parents born in the 1980s and 1990s are always happy to meet their children’s material needs, so that their children never feel the pain of rejection. Such parents are not qualified parents. A neighbor who lived next door remarried a few years ago and later had a daughter. Naturally, he loved the apple of his eye very much. She would never beat, scold or scold her daughter. Once when she went to the aquarium, the little girl liked the dolphins she saw and said to her father, \”Dad, buy them for me.\” The neighbor actually tried every means to contact us about how to buy dolphins, but of course to no avail. Now that the little girl is five years old, the result is that no relatives dare to go to her house, and the neighbors only meet and say hello, passing by in a hurry, because the little girl will let you play with her without restriction, and you must follow the rules she has set. According to the rules, if they disagree, they will cry, make a fuss, and even hit others. Parents will ask you to meet her needs, and if they are not met, they will issue an eviction order. The little girl has already changed to three top kindergartens because it is difficult to get along with other children and does not listen to the teachers. She often lies to her parents and says that the school abuses her. Every time the little girl moves to another school, teachers and students throughout the school breathe a visibly relieved sigh. Of course, the little girl\’s parents must suffer the most, because they never refuse her requests, and sometimes they have to apologize in front of her if they cannot satisfy them. Being born as a human being is very difficult. When you are a parent to this extent, I am afraid that happiness has long been replaced by pain. No one wants to play games with her, and she will feel very lonely. As an adult, she will resent her parents, who made it difficult for her to adapt to this crowded society. Like is possession, but love is restraint and restraint. To restrain yourself, you must also restrain your children, so that children will be stronger and healthier. When I was studying in college, I had a roommate in the dormitory. Because she had a beautiful voice and a sweet voice, everyone started to like her. However, after a while, everyone tried to avoid her as much as possible. At that time, she lived on the 6th floor, and the water room was a bit far from the dormitory. She would always say, xx, let me use some of your water. The remaining five people in the dormitory were borrowed from them in turn, and they never felt embarrassed or thought about returning them. She likes to have people accompany her to eat. She can eat as much as she wants without giving them a pair of chopsticks or politely thanking them. She often shows off in the dormitory, how long her parents have been doing, where they ordered cakes and gifts for her, and what brand of cosmetics she bought herself, but she never shared the electricity bill. We would look envious at first, but later we were left with nothing but disdain. She had no friends during college, and she had not contacted any of us roommates for so many years after graduating from college. Of course, we did not take the initiative to contact her. We have long had a psychological shadow of her selfishness and arrogance, and this is how we really feel. We also always remind ourselves that we must treat future children correctly and rationally, and do not pamper or give unlimited satisfaction. In that case, your child will lose the entire world.boundary. In fact, no matter what kind of family they are born into, their children can have a prosperous future. But spoiling will definitely prevent the physical and psychological growth of children. Parents wish that their children would never grow up and remain their \”inner children\” for the rest of their lives. However, children will eventually grow up and face ups and downs sooner or later. Why not refuse their children\’s slightly excessive needs appropriately so that they can be more mature from an early age? View yourself rationally? Over-satisfying children can lead to loneliness and depression. Just like her college roommate, no one can tolerate her self-righteousness and \”princess disease\”. When parents age, children will find that they have few friends to rely on and talk to, and they are more likely to fall into autistic and depressed mental states. Children who are fully satisfied tend to have weaker willpower, lower emotional intelligence, and difficulty getting along with others. Over-satisfying children will lead to an increase in children\’s crime rate. Cambridge-Somerville Psychology of Youth Learning A 40-year follow-up study shows that children who are accustomed to getting and being satisfied have higher rates of delinquency and alcohol abuse than those who receive intervention and rejection, especially as adults. The crime rate of the former is much higher than that of the latter. Children who have received excessive attention and pampering since childhood often have a distorted worldview and are more likely to develop bad behavioral habits, and habits determine life. Over-satisfying children will greatly reduce their happiness in life. Because he is used to being satisfied and getting, he always thinks that the world is his own and he can do whatever he wants. When he really enters the society, he finds that the world is not like this and no one cares about him. That kind of psychological gap can easily destroy a person. will. Children who have never experienced rejection since childhood will definitely not be happy children. He is accustomed to the care given by his parents and relies on the greenhouse. His body and mind are full of softness. The outside world is so cruel, so for the sake of the child\’s future, give him some resistance and let him taste disappointment, so that he can give himself hope and motivation. Parents must not deprive their children of their interest in self-exploration, and do not replace their children\’s self-satisfaction needs. Try to cultivate their children\’s independent personality from an early age, and they will give you a relaxed and happy life.