Parents who know how to let go give their children the deepest love

The topic of children being independent has become a commonplace. But the more this issue is known to everyone, the less it is taken seriously. When I see a child being firmly controlled or replaced by his parents, I feel worried. I took my son to eat steamed dumplings the morning before yesterday. He, a foodie, is already a regular customer there. And I often meet fathers taking their children for breakfast. There are also grandparents bringing children with schoolbags to have breakfast. That day we shared a table with a father and son. The little boy is as old as his son, and he is delicate and handsome. While being coquettish with her father, she carefully said \”Eat, eat, eat… hurry up.\” and kept jumping on tiptoes. As for this dad, he has been using WeChat voice chat. Take a bite for yourself and feed one to your child. Sometimes if we chat for a long time, the child will stretch his neck and open his mouth to wait and urge. When we sat down. The little boy glanced at his son. Children always like to observe other children. When the dumplings were served, I handed my son a small butterfly filled with vinegar and added a little vinegar to him. Then he picked up the chopsticks and started eating. And I was just waiting for my wontons to be served. At this time, the boy watched his son eating with chopsticks with great interest. I also went to get a pair of chopsticks and wanted to eat by myself. After trying it for a while, it didn’t work, so I tried it a few more times. At this time, the impatient father snatched the chopsticks away and put them into the chopstick tube. Then feed the child as usual. The child was obediently waiting to be fed. The little boy kept urging him \”uh uh ah ah\”, like a little swallow waiting for food. Dad slowed down a little and screamed more urgently. Dad seems to be more used to this situation. After a while, the child said \”na na la\” in a hurry. It turned out that I wanted to drink water. Dad handed over another glass of water. Finally finished eating. While chatting about voice, the father brought out paper and asked the child to blow his nose. A very experienced father who takes care of his children meticulously. But it can be seen that I don\’t dare to let the child try it on his own. So the child looks very delicate and very clingy. Every child will have a desire to try, driven by curiosity. At some point, I will carefully step out of the \”circle\” drawn by my parents. But once the parents gave the prohibition order, they immediately ran away in fear. Never dare to try again. When we talk about a certain performance of a child. Many people say this is unfounded? Will a child not be able to use chopsticks to eat when he grows up? Of course, when you grow up, you can take care of these basic things on your own. But there is a kind of child who has grown up physically but is still in a baby state mentally. We often call this kind of person \”giant baby\”. Parents have to be vigilant. Everything is waiting for the children to grow up in the future. It\’s often too late. At every stage of growth, there are things that need to be done at this stage. Especially psychological development cannot be ignored. There are two states of parental love. One is attachment state. Children generally need it most when they are 0-3 years old. Because this is the stage when children need the most care from their parents. The child will cry when he doesn\’t see his mother for a while. As soon as I left my mother to go to school, I couldn\’t help but cry. Parents give their children unconditional care and love at this stage and willLet children feel psychologically safe. Once a child\’s ability increases, he will have a clear sense of independence. Parents must dare to let go and let their children try and make mistakes and gain experience. This is the separation stage, where the child moves towards independence. Take using chopsticks for example. Children as young as one or two years old will like chopsticks and regard them as fun toys. But it is very dangerous for children to put chopsticks in their mouths and run away. So when my son was playing with chopsticks, I told him about the dangers. I stopped him as soon as I saw him playing. But when he was almost 4 years old, he also wanted to use chopsticks to eat. At this time I asked him to take the chopsticks at the dining table. At first he would grab the end of the chopsticks, and I would tell him how to adjust it. Slowly he will be able to master the method and hold the vegetables by himself. Once he knows the function of chopsticks, he will never play with them again. Many parents don\’t give their children a chance. \”If you don\’t explain, you will know when you grow up.\” \”I have the final say because I am your mother!\” \”Stop saying it. If I say no, it means no.\” \”No, it\’s too dangerous.\” But that\’s what happens in life. These little things often give children the opportunity to become independent. Give them a chance. Even if they are wrong, it doesn\’t matter. Take your time. In fact, letting go of love requires more courage and wisdom. Because letting go is not \”freezing\”. Compared with restricting children, letting go requires thousands of times more affection and attentiveness. When I go out with my son, sometimes I come back after buying groceries. He was carrying a bag of vegetables and I was carrying a bag of vegetables. When neighbors see him, they will joke, \”Xiao Xiaoyu, your father is bullying you again. You have to carry such a big bag.\” When eating at his grandma\’s house, he would wait for her to feed him. With a straight face, I scared grandma away and stopped him from thinking about it. He wanted to make steamed eggs himself, but when he beat the eggs, the eggs fell out, and when he stirred the eggs, he poured in the egg liquid. But I still have to teach him patiently and clean the battlefield together. I taught him the habit of holding the door open for others when he would swing it open when he went out. Now when he goes out, if he opens the door first, he will habitually hold the door for the people behind him. Because this is a kind of politeness and the cultivation of considering others. And when other children enjoy the pampering of their parents and enjoy the beauty of being replaced. But he suffered hardships on his way to independence. You know, it makes me feel bad to see him suffering. But I am willing to bear this pain. Of course, it only takes a few minutes for us to feed our children a meal of dumplings, which is neat and tidy. It may take more than ten minutes for the child to eat by himself, and he may fall off his body, which may cause a lot of trouble. But I am willing to do the latter and accompany my children to get into trouble. Because I know that one day he will not be in trouble, but will confidently and bravely deal with the troubles he encounters. Letting go is actually a deeper and more courageous love. All love in the world is for the purpose of gathering, only the love of parents for their children is for the purpose of separation. While giving love to your children, please remember to let go appropriately. When your child needs independence, exit gracefully. The earlier a child becomes independent, the better he can withstand the storms of life. The flowers in the greenhouse can withstand wind and rain, and every parent knows this truth. But when I see my child suffering a little bit, I feel like my heart is twisting. Once you find it troublesome, quickly cut through the trouble and handle it on your child\’s behalf. Children should make decisionsWhen the decision is made, under the banner of \”for your own good\”, control the child. In fact, in many families, the reason why children are clingy and unable to live without their parents is due to the parents themselves. Parents hold their children\’s hands tightly, take too much care, and are shrouded in endless anxiety. But every parent faces this heartbreaking truth: You have to let go. Parents love their children and have far-reaching plans. This kind of love is not control, nor is it replacement. But when the child leaves you one day. Or one day I leave my child forever. Are you really at ease? And whether the child can live a happy life on his own.