Parents who know how to \”separate\” can raise promising children

All love in this world has the ultimate goal of coming together. There is only one kind of love that has the goal of separation, and that is the love of parents for their children. My son is 8 years old and is very obsessed with painting. After dinner last night, he took out his painting book to practice. After my wife finished cleaning up the housework, she sat next to the child and painted with the child, while I wrote in the study. Since my son has just started to learn to draw, he often makes a lot of mistakes. He either paints the wrong color or accidentally paints it on the outside. It doesn\’t look beautiful at all, but his son enjoys it every time. The wife sitting aside was so anxious. Seeing her son\’s messy paintings, she really wanted to grab the brush and go to work herself. For her who graduated from an art school, this was a piece of cake. After a while, I heard a commotion outside. When I walked out of the study, I realized that my wife was talking to the child about how to draw. Halfway through the painting, my wife finally couldn\’t hold it any longer. She said, \”Baby, this is filled with gray, not black. Baby, please slow down and paint outside…\” Seeing her son\’s expression of incomprehension. , she finally took the brush and helped her son start painting, while his son watched blankly beside him. After a while, he finished the painting, which looked beautiful, clean, and perfect. The painting was finished, but there was no trace of happiness on the son\’s face. The famous Italian educator Montessori said: \”Never disturb a child unless you are invited by the child.\” In life, most parents are anxious for their children and would like to do everything by themselves. Little do they know that this will seriously affect their children\’s interest and ability to explore the world independently. The wife\’s behavior seriously stifled the child\’s interest and made him lose his ability to think independently and solve problems with his own vision and thinking. Last Saturday, I went to my colleague Xiao Wang\’s house as a guest. After dinner, we chatted while the child ran to the study to do his homework. After a while, the child encountered an unknown character, so he ran out and asked Xiao Wang: \”Dad, what do you pronounce this character? What does it mean?\” After the child finished speaking, Xiao Wang said to me: \”Brother Lin, wait a minute. Wait, let me say a few words to the child.\” I was very confused at the time, but I just didn\’t understand a word, so I could just tell the child and that would be the end of it. After Xiao Wang came out, I asked with some doubts: \”The child just doesn\’t know a word, why don\’t you tell her directly?\” Xiao Wang said: \”It\’s easy to tell her, but in the future she will become dependent and will not be independent.\” The ability to solve problems.\” I asked Xiao Wang with great interest how he did it. Xiao Wang said: \”I pretended to be ignorant and told my child that I didn\’t know the word. The two of us looked up the dictionary together to solve it, so that she would look up the dictionary when encountering the same problem in the future.\” After Xiao Wang finished speaking, I Thumbs up for what he did. In fact, this is indeed the case. Giving answers all at once will definitely aggravate the child\’s \”dependence\”. He will become too lazy to think about problems in the future, and he will even be too lazy to read reference books. It is even worse if you reprimand a child. Once a child becomes very low self-esteem, he is likely to lose interest in learning. Children\’s thinking is not as fixed as ours, and their potential is far beyond our imagination. Parents give their children a space to roam freely, which is very important for cultivating their interest in learning and independent innovation.Ability plays an important role. If parents intervene too much, the children will be less interested in learning and less able to diversify and innovate. In life, we often unconsciously force our children, under the banner of \”love\” and in the name of \”being good for the children\”, we trample on the children\’s hearts wantonly. If you don\’t know how to give your children a space and don\’t know how to cultivate their children\’s independence, most of the children raised by such families will not have much potential. Many parents often complain that their children don\’t like to use their brains and are too lazy to think. The root cause of these problems is the parents themselves. Behind every highly dependent child, there is a pair of parents who are \”unwilling to let go\” and \”take care of everything\”. Parents\’ \”do-it-all\” attitude single-handedly creates children who are \”too lazy to think\”. Psychologists have found that the more parents do not understand separation, the less independent their children will be, and most of them will not be confident in life. A child who has no self-confidence, sees himself as useless, and thinks that he can do nothing will not have much potential. Teacher Yin Jianli said: \”Strong maternal love is not a permanent possession of the child, but a graceful exit. The first task of maternal love is to be close to the child and protect the child\’s growth; the second task is to separate from the child and promote the child\’s independence .\” Einstein said: \”It is more important for children to learn to think and judge independently than to acquire knowledge.\” This shows how important it is for children to have the ability to think independently and make independent judgments. As parents, we should try our best to separate our children. Only in this way can he grow better and gain a better foothold in society in the future. There is often an 11-year-old child who comes to buy things in my supermarket. He is the son of Xiao Zhang from the fashion supermarket opposite. The child has some mental retardation and his speech is not very clear. Every time he came to the store, he said: \”How much money did my dad give me to buy such-and-such something?\” At first, I asked him directly, but then Xiao Zhang asked me if he could find it by himself. Not telling him anymore, I nodded. Later, when the child comes again, I will tell him an area. For example, if he wants to buy bean paste, I will let him go to the pickles area. Slowly, the child can find it independently. Once while drinking, Xiao Zhang said sadly: \”I can\’t take care of him for the rest of his life. It will definitely be good for him to let him do what he can.\” Although Xiao Zhang\’s approach was a bit sad, it seemed more sensible. Letting go of your children is not an easy task, but it is a compulsory course for every parent. Sylvia, a famous British psychologist, said: \”All love in this world has the ultimate goal of gathering. There is only one kind of love that has separation as the goal, and that is the love of parents for their children.\” We and our children are the most important things in life. Deep fate, the truly successful love of parents is to let the child separate from your life as an independent individual as early as possible. The earlier this separation, the more successful it will be.