When a mother went to a parent-teacher meeting, she said this: \”If you want to ask me what kind of child can finally gain happiness in life, I think the answer must not be the one with good grades and a rich family… but the one with the best heart.\” Rich children. Children with a rich heart must be happy with themselves, able to discover their own strengths, and accept their shortcomings peacefully; children with a rich heart have a full spiritual world and a sound personality, and can look at it calmly. Frustration and frustration are full of hope in life; children with a rich heart know how to love and be loved, will give love and care to others, can maintain empathy, and know how to take responsibility. \”Compared with those illusory successes, cultivate a child with a rich heart. A child is what parents want in their lifetime. If you also want to raise a child with a rich heart, you must always keep these 7 words on your lips. \”I understand you, I know how you feel\” – giving children a sense of acceptance. I once saw this scene in a hospital: a father took his 5 or 6-year-old boy to the dentist. The child was very scared and not only refused to cooperate but also cried. Make a scene. The father was very impatient. He pulled the child while scolding him: \”We usually have to go to work, and we finally find time to take you to see your dentist on weekends, but you are still not happy. For such a big child, you are still afraid of this. Isn\’t it embarrassing? \”The little boy\’s eyes were flashing with tears and he looked aggrieved. Tanzanian writer Shabani wrote in the essay \”Childhood\”: \”Children\’s worries may be said to be insignificant to adults, but they are a great deal to the children themselves.\” Everyone longs to be understood and accepted, and children also want to be understood and accepted. No exceptions. The so-called \”understanding\” does not mean understanding what the child does, but recognizing the rationality of the child\’s emotions and feelings. When your child is criticized, say something heartwarmingly: \”I understand you. Being criticized by the teacher must make you feel uncomfortable, right?\” When your child has a toothache, tell him: \”I understand your fear. You can cry for a while, but You can’t lose your temper because of fear, and forget the purpose of our visit. “Unconditionally accept the children’s emotions and let the children know that they are understood. Only then will there be an emotional connection with each other, and only then can parents slowly enter into the children’s hearts. \”Don\’t worry, let\’s take our time\” – Give children a sense of happiness. I often hear parents around me complain about their children\’s procrastination and dilly-dallying in doing things: \”The homework that can be completed in half an hour is delayed to one or two hours, and as soon as the homework is tutored, it becomes overwhelming!\” When I get down to business, I have to go to the toilet and drink water, and I can\’t help but turn on the roaring mode every minute. \”I have to be urged three times and four times to do anything. If the child is unhappy, the adults will also get angry.\” In fact, \”daggering\” is something that happens every day. It is the nature of a child that even if we urge him, scare him, blame him, pull him, or pull him, he will be injured and sweating, and he can only move forward a little bit each time. A writer told a story: She was buying flowers on the street, and a 5-year-old boy wanted to tie a bow on the bouquet with a ribbon, but failed several times. The grandmother on the side couldn\’t help scolding the child, but the writer comforted the little boy: \”Take your time, don\’t rush.\” Later she wrote in the book: \”Yes, I am willing to wait a lifetime for him to Tie the bow slowly and leisurely, using his five-year-old fingers; take your time, kid.. \”Growth is a process of constant trial and error. When raising children, parents should be slower and more patient, infiltrating slowly and gently. Children who grow up with patience will stand firmer, go further, and know how to persevere. , also knows the responsibility. “Let’s chat! \”——Give children a sense of presence. In many families, parents and children have nothing to talk about except studying. In the movie \”A Thousand Arrows Pierce the Heart\”, the son said to his mother: \”Since you were a child, have you finished your homework besides studying? , Have you finished your homework? Will you say anything else? \”This is why more and more children are unwilling to communicate with their parents and are getting farther and farther away from their parents. Because they can\’t feel any love and care from their parents. When He Lingfeng\’s daughter went to school in Japan, every time he and His daughter can talk on the phone for four hours, He Lingfeng said: “Actually, the really useful words can be said in three to five minutes. \”The rest of the time is to talk about his daughter\’s recent experiences and ask her what she thinks of each experience. He will also share his feelings when he encountered these problems. Only by chatting more with their children can parents learn more about it. Only by having a good understanding of the child\’s current situation can we know whether the child has encountered any problems and help him solve them. The child can feel the deep care and love of his parents for himself through \”small talk\”, which helps to deepen the relationship. Emotional connection with children, establishing a close attachment relationship, letting children know that they are loved and cared for, thus creating a sense of happiness and abundance from the inside out – giving children trust. I once saw a video of a 3-year-old boy practicing long jump, but he couldn\’t jump after several jumps. Then he became cautious and didn\’t dare to jump forward anymore. At this time, the father on the side stretched out his hands. Tell your child seriously: \”Don\’t be afraid, just jump forward. Dad believes in you and will protect you.\” \”The little boy listened to his father\’s words, hesitated again and again, and finally plucked up the courage to jump over. This is the power brought by trust. There is a famous \”Pygmalion effect\” in psychology, which means that people do not know whether they are aware of something or not. For children, this person is their parents. So when your child wants to learn a new skill, tell him: \”I believe you can do it well.\” \”When your child wants to retreat in the face of failure, please tell him: \”I believe in you, you can do it.\” \”Parents often say \”I believe in you\” to their children, which will give their children a strong psychological suggestion and make them feel \”I can do it\”, so that they become more and more confident and mentally stronger. \”You are doing a great job! \”——Give children a sense of accomplishment. A netizen said that the most common thing she heard her parents say when she was a child was: Are you a pig? Look at your shameful appearance, what can you do when you grow up? Can you have some snacks… …Being belittled like this, she really felt that she was worthless and could not do anything well. Psychologist Susan Forward has a famous saying: \”The harmful effects of parental blows are not limited to the immediate moment.\” It runs through the years, like a needle, piercing deeply into the hearts of children. \”It is human nature to desire to be praised, especially for children. Remember HongThe wild girl Fu Yuanhui? At the 2016 Rio Olympics, she won the bronze medal. When a reporter asked her if she had any regrets, she happily replied: \”I\’m very satisfied!\” There was no regret at all about not being able to win the championship, and her mentality was particularly relaxed and strong. Later, in a variety show, Fu Yuanhui revealed that the three most common words her parents say to her are: \”You are the best!\” \”You are the best!\” \”You are a genius!\” Because of her parents\’ recognition and encouragement, Fu Yuanhui grew up in love and was extremely rich in her heart. As writer Lin Qingxuan said: \”No matter what kind of child they are, love is the best education, and the best way to express love is joy, encouragement and appreciation.\” Parents\’ appreciation and encouragement will give children a sense of accomplishment, thus Have the confidence to move forward. \”It\’s okay\” – giving children a sense of security: There is this scene in \”The Story of Rose\”: Once, Rose\’s 3-year-old daughter Xiaochu accidentally spilled milk all over herself. Rose\’s first reaction was not to blame, but to say softly: \”It doesn\’t matter. Mom taught you how to clean up last time. Let\’s go and clean it up together.\” After saying that, Rose turned on the faucet, and Xiaochu said: I happily started cleaning the stains on my body. Many netizens lamented that Rose, a mother, really raised her daughter very well. But in life, when many children make mistakes, they get scolded by their parents: \”I remember one time when I was playing with my children, I accidentally hit my head on the wall and broke the back of my head. The father who came over not only did not comfort me, but instead blamed me first. It makes me feel really sad…\” \”When I was a child, my mother would scold me severely even if I dropped a dish on the floor. As a result, when I make the slightest mistake when I grow up, I will be so nervous that I want to vomit.\” You know, the child\’s. The process of growth is the process of constantly making mistakes, correcting mistakes, and then improving oneself. When a child makes a mistake, instead of yelling at the child and adding fuel to the fire, it is better to squat down and hug the child: \”It\’s okay, mom can understand you.\” Your \”it\’s okay\” is not condonation, but understanding and care. , will give children a sense of security and love. \”I love you very much\” – In the picture book \”Guess How Much I Love You\”, which gives children a sense of belonging, the little rabbit and the big rabbit had a special debate before going to bed, that is, who loves whom more. The little rabbit tells the big rabbit seriously every time: \”I love you so much\”, but the big rabbit\’s answer is better than the little rabbit every time. At the end of the story, the big rabbit said: \”I love you from here to the moon and back again.\” How many children want to hear such a heartfelt confession from their parents. Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein said: \”Only love is not enough. If you don\’t express it, your children will not feel your love.\” Every parent loves their children, but love needs to be expressed, said Love expressed out of mouth is easier to be \”seen\”. When a child encounters difficulties, say to him: \”Don\’t be afraid, we love you, we will always be behind you!\” When a child makes a mistake, parents should promptly say: \”I love you, but a mistake is a mistake. Let\’s correct it together.\” \”When the child succeeds, please say: \”I love you, we are proud of you.\” Parents and children establish a close connection and let them feel a steady stream of love.The core for children to develop a sense of belonging and worth. Declaring your love with your mouth will make your child\’s heart firmer and warmer, and he will be confident in everything he does. Montessori once said that everything we do to children will bear fruit, not only affecting his life, but also determining his life. Whether a child is confident or inferior, brave or cowardly, whether his heart is rich or lacking, all depends on the daily words and deeds of his parents. Only when parents nourish their children with encouragement and trust can they build a world of love and tolerance for their children. Click \”Like\” and hope that our children can have the ability to embrace happiness. Even if you are ordinary, you can bravely move forward on your own life path and rush to the mountains and seas.
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