Parents without principles cannot raise well-behaved children

Recently, there is a video that is particularly popular. A father took his two daughters to the supermarket. The naughty daughter deliberately knocked something out of her sister\’s hand. The father firmly asked his daughter to apologize to her sister, but the daughter refused. The father was adamant and must apologize. The little daughter, who had no choice but to do anything, began to lie down, lying on the ground and excusing herself, \”I didn\’t mean to do it.\” The father insisted and said, \”You have to apologize regardless of whether you meant it or not.\” The sister on the side wanted to break the deadlock and said, \”Forget it, there is no need to apologize.\” The younger daughter quickly found the steps for herself: \”She even said there was no need to apologize. .\” But the father insisted: \”Whether my sister wants this apology or not, you must apologize.\” The behavior of the father and daughter attracted onlookers. Some people couldn\’t stand it and encouraged the father to slap her hard, so that she would be obedient. Of course, Dad didn\’t take any action and just expressed his attitude again, \”I have to say I\’m sorry.\” Finally, at her father\’s insistence, the little daughter finally said \”I\’m sorry.\” In my father\’s opinion, if he makes a mistake, he must apologize to others. This is a matter of principle and cannot be discussed at all. No matter whether the child is acting mischievously, someone is interceding, or someone is instigating him, he must stick to his principles and must let his daughter Carry it out to the end. Lincoln said that the most important thing is to stick to principles at critical moments. The same goes for educating children. After watching \”Mom is Superman\”, many people complained about Ma Yashu\’s education method. Many people wonder why this mother who talks about \”no\” and \”can\’t\” and strictly prohibits her children from doing this and that all the time, yet the children turn a deaf ear to her words and don\’t take them to heart at all. There is such a detail. She took the children to the vegetable market, and two children fished with their hands. The mother, who was on the verge of despair, said \”no\” and \”no\” countless times, but the siblings turned a deaf ear. After the elder sister touched the fish, the younger brother Then he touched it again. But after seeing what happened, everyone gradually understood why the child turned a deaf ear to her words. One time, her daughter Mia, who had not yet recovered from a cold, wanted to eat ice cream. Ma Yashu disagreed. Mia lay down directly on the ground, crying and fussing. The helpless Ma Yashu had no choice but to agree to go to the supermarket to buy ice cream. Coincidentally, at the vegetable market, the children had just finished eating cakes and wanted to eat bread. Ma Yashu refused at first. The children cried and shouted at first. Seeing no effect, they changed to acting coquettishly, \”Mom, please \”. Sure enough, Ma Yashu immediately relented and took out the bread. This kind of drama often happens in their home. The children know their mother\’s weakness. As long as they cry or make trouble, their mother will definitely give in. Even she herself said: \”I should be a very compromising mother.\” \”Every time she cries, my persistence has dropped to zero.\” Conceding without a bottom line, without principles, over time, Her \”can\’t\” and \”no\” are completely harmless in front of her children. It can be said that Ma Yashu succeeded in not being principled and would only give in step by step after the child cried, turning her child into a super willful and rebellious \”naughty child\”. Education experts say that once you tell your children \”no,\” you must persist. If parents do not insist on their demands, children will think that parents say \”no\”\”It\’s not serious. Recently, my neighbor Doudou\’s mother told me about her troubles: when she takes her children to the supermarket, they want to buy toys, but they don\’t agree. The children cry and fuss and won\’t leave. There are so many people staring at them. The situation was extremely embarrassing, and she had no choice but to compromise with her child. \”There are a lot of toys at home, and I have never advocated letting the child develop the bad habit of \’buying what he wants\’, but when he cries and acts, I don\’t know what to do? \”Doudou\’s mother\’s troubles may have been encountered by most parents, and it is also a common problem in many families. They set various rules for their children, but when the children cry and make trouble, the parents lose their sense of proportion and lose their principles. Once in a friend I have read the parenting tips shared by psychology professor Li Meijin, and I have benefited a lot from reading them. One day, Professor Li’s daughter also made a rude shopping request. When she refused, her daughter burst into tears. She was calm. No matter how much her daughter cried, she did not waver in her principles and insisted on taking her home. After returning home, she stayed in the room with her daughter and still ignored her crying. At most, she handed her a piece of hot milk. He asked her to wipe her face with snot and tears. Just sit in front of her quietly and watch her cry until she was exhausted from crying. After the child cried for a long time, he saw his mother\’s attitude. Without relaxing at all, he gave up. Since then, the child has never made any rude requests. I admire the professor\’s approach, which not only adheres to his own principles, but also allows the children to understand his unreasonable requests and will not Because the child\’s crying has no change. At the same time, it also allows the child to feel the sense of security of \”I don\’t agree with you doing this, but I still love you, will care about you, and will not abandon you.\” Luqiu Luwei said , unconditional love and adhering to principles are not contradictory, in fact they must exist at the same time, otherwise, love will turn into doting. There is such a dialogue in the picture book \”I Will Always Love You\”: Ali: \”If I put The pillow makes feathers fly everywhere, do you still love me? \”Mom: \”I will always love you, but you have to put your feathers away. Ali: \”If I spill painting paint on my sister, will you still love me?\” Mom: \”I will always love you, but you have to be responsible for bathing your sister.\” \”This mother took the trouble to assure her child, \”I will always love you,\” but she also has her own principles. You must take responsibility for your mistakes. Two days ago, a piece of news in WeChat Moments caused widespread discussion. A fourth grader , who is 1.4 meters tall and can be called a \”big kid\”, pushed a pregnant woman who was more than 4 months pregnant from behind, almost causing the pregnant woman to miscarry. What is even more infuriating is that when asked about the reason, the child did not know anything He said nonchalantly: \”I saw on TV that a pregnant woman would have a miscarriage if she fell. I just wanted to see if pushing her would also cause a miscarriage?\” \”It is simply unbelievable that a child in grade 4 actually behaved so crazily and said such indifferent words. But listen to the reaction of the child\’s grandmother again, \”He is still a child. What do you care about with your child?\” \”You will immediately realize how a \”naughty child\” is raised. How many children have been ruined by saying \”he is still a child\”. Parents tell their children right from wrong, what they can do and what they cannot do since they were young.Being able to do this is crucial. Loving children is our instinct. It is our responsibility as parents to adhere to their own principles and set rules for their children so that they can grow into adults with high moral character. Cecilia Cheung once talked about her parenting experience in \”Tian Tian Shang Shang\”. For her two sons who can\’t put it down, Cecilia Cheung\’s principle is: she can only pick her favorite one at a time and tell them that her mother\’s words can never be changed. The two obedient children would choose their favorite toy every time. Because it was hard to come by, they cherished the toys doubly. Parents love their children and have far-reaching plans. Parents who love their children unconditionally must adhere to their own principles and let their children abide by basic rules. Only then can your children behave themselves in the future. Finally, I would like to share with you a memo from American schools to parents: Don’t spoil me. I know very well that I don\’t deserve everything I ask for, and I\’m just testing you with my unreasonable demands. Don\’t be afraid to be fair to me. It makes me feel safe. Don\’t let me develop bad habits. When I was young, I had to rely on you to tell me what was right and wrong. Don\’t make me feel that making a mistake is like committing a crime. It will weaken my hope in life.