People\’s Daily: How to establish a correct view of family education?

The survey shows that 50% of parents do not know how to educate their children, and most parents have varying degrees of parenting anxiety. The People\’s Daily has published \”The 9 Most Important Concepts on Family Education.\” Anyone with children must read it. 01 Parents are the first person responsible for family education. Intergenerational parenting is a common phenomenon, but it needs to be clear that the first person responsible for a child must be the parents. If parents become \”hands-off shopkeepers\”, it may leave hidden dangers for their children\’s future lives. Famous parenting expert Zhang Silai also helps her daughter take care of the children, but she made an agreement with her daughter in advance: the first person responsible for the child must be the parents. Only when parents are close to their children can they cultivate a good parent-child relationship. As a grandmother, she is only here to assist them and has no obligation to educate the children. \”My purpose is to let my children have a close relationship with their parents. If one day after I go to the grave, I leave my daughter with a pair of unfilial descendants, that will be my sin.\” Under this concept, The two grandchildren were well educated. 02 Reject any form of domestic violence Violence, no matter what form it appears, is extremely harmful to children. Rejecting violence is the bottom line of family education. The root cause of social violence lies in the family. Studies have shown that children who experience a lot of violence at home have higher crime rates in society. Teenagers who engage in criminal behavior often have problems with their original family structure. 03 Respect and protect the child’s personal dignity. The prerequisite for educating children is to protect the child’s dignity first. This is more important than worrying about right and wrong. Only by maintaining the dignity of children can education achieve results. As a parent, you should not make fun of your children at will, expose your children\’s shortcomings in public, or beat or scold your children in public places. There is another point that is easily overlooked – excessive modesty can also damage a child\’s dignity. For example, chatting with others in front of the child: \”Our child is not good.\” \”It is far worse than your child.\” This kind of conversation will have a negative impact on the child and lower the child\’s self-esteem. Protecting a child\’s self-esteem is actually protecting his potential power. The best education is to let your child know that you are proud of him. 04 Give children the right to choose. The book \”Why Home Hurts\” records a conversation: The mother asked her daughter: \”What kind of ice cream do you want?\” The daughter replied: \”I want vanilla.\” \”Chocolate.\” \”No, I want vanilla.\” \”I think chocolate is better.\” \”No, I want vanilla.\” \”You shouldn\’t want vanilla. I know you like chocolate things.\” \”I now I just want to eat vanilla.\” \”Why are you so stubborn? It\’s really weird.\” During this conversation, the mother kept trying to deny her daughter\’s feelings and try to impose her own judgment on her daughter. By doing this, she is undoubtedly telling her daughter that your idea is wrong and you have to listen to me. She was blind to her daughter\’s true feelings. We often say, don’t take your rights home with you. This is true between husband and wife, and it is the same with children. If everything is chosen for the child, the child will not be able to find his or her own value. 05 Psychological support is more important than material support. Compared with only providing a rich material life for children, there areEffective companionship and communication are more beneficial to children\’s growth. Professor Li Meijin proposed that people need psychological support in their childhood. The psychological upbringing of children, including emotions, personality, concepts, respect, etc., is the psychological cornerstone of a child\’s healthy growth and can determine the child\’s lifelong character. The child does not suddenly become \”bad\”; before that, the problems have accumulated into an iceberg. \”I have met many helpless and even desperate parents. When they faced the children they raised, they suddenly found that the children had become \’strange and scary\’. Children who were once very well-behaved suddenly became violent. When they helplessly turned to me When I told them about their children’s problems, when they brought them to me, I had only one feeling: It’s too late. They have missed the best time for psychological education.” 06 Personality determines a child’s fate and grades often have the effect of blinding the whole world. , so that many parents have a misunderstanding: intelligence determines destiny. Parents only pay attention to their children\’s academic performance and whether they can be admitted to prestigious universities, but rarely pay attention to their children\’s personality and character development. What really determines destiny is character. Professor Li Meijin proposed that children’s character training is best completed by the father. Before the child is 12 years old, the father needs to take on this responsibility and can train the child to persist in a sport and develop character in the sport. Once a character is formed in early life, it remains stable throughout life. By the time you are 20 or 30 years old, it is already difficult to change. 07 Be good at discovering the advantages of children. Don’t blindly use “other people’s children” to belittle your own children. No matter how old a child is, what heals them most is always the approval of their parents. Psychologist Zeng Qifeng said that there are three types of parents: the first is that no matter what you do, they criticize you; the second is that no matter what you do, they ignore you; the third is that no matter what you do, they ignore you All encourage you. There is no doubt that all children want the last kind of parent. Excellent parents are more likely to discover the strengths of their children. 08 Teach by words and deeds, teach children and teach yourself. Many educational problems may seem to be caused by children, but their \”roots\” lie in adults. Parents must learn to grow with their children. There was a father who liked to drink. Before work every day, he would go to the town’s pub for a drink. One day, it was snowing heavily, and he walked to the tavern humming a tune as usual. As he walked, he always felt like someone was following him. When he looked back, he saw that it was his young son. The son followed his father\’s footprints and was very excited: \”Dad, the snow is so thick, I am stepping on your footprints!\” His son\’s words shocked him, and he thought: If I go to the tavern, my son will If you follow my footsteps, you will also find the tavern. What if I go somewhere else? Then the father changed his route and walked towards the library at the end of the town. Since then, the father has given up his drinking habit and has never been to a pub again. A good father is not about making a lot of money, but about being a good example for his children as they grow up. The child doesn\’t listen to us, he imitates us. Parents’ words and deeds are always the most powerful education. 09 Don’t let your children realize your dreams for you. A truly happy life is not the same. The best education is to help your children becomehe himself. Zheng Yuanjie said that a good educator should use 50 educational methods to educate one child, rather than using one method to educate 50 children. Every child has his own personality and characteristics. What parents have to do is to make lemons more sour and apples sweeter, rather than turning lemons into apples. The comprehensive growth of children is inseparable from a sound family education concept. Please forward it to your family so that your children will avoid detours on their way to growth. 10 recommended classic family education books