People\’s Daily: Psychological characteristics and parenting priorities of children aged 1 to 14

Everything has its own rules, and the same goes for children\’s growth. If parents can follow the rules of their children\’s growth and grasp the key points of parenting at different stages, their children will surely become better and better. Let’s stay with you and wait for the flowers to bloom! 1 year old: A year to help children establish a sense of security. We always say: it is very important for children to be 3 years old. Although when children grow up, they rarely remember things under 3 years old. But facts show that experiences before the age of 3, even if the child does not remember them, will have a huge impact on the child throughout his life. From about 1 and a half to 2 and a half years old, children will repeatedly shuttle between the \”peaceful period\” and the \”stubborn period\”. Because children are growing rapidly at this time, these cycles are relatively short. Faced with children at this time, parents should give more companionship and attention, so that the child\’s sense of security will be satisfied and a good foundation can be laid for future character development. Psychologist Adler once said: \”Each of us comes into this world and pursues two things throughout our lives: security and sense of value.\” Therefore, if the child is young, especially around 1 year old, he can When children grow up with the company and care of their families, they will develop a very secure character. Such children will not worry about gains and losses, nor will they be overly sensitive, and will become more confident as they grow. In addition, he also mentioned that if a child cries, you must hug the child more and don\’t ignore it. In other words, hugging is a very important \”act\” for children to establish a sense of security. When a child is one year old, parents should spend more time with the child. Whether playing with the child or comforting the child, parents should give the child some \”responses\” to help the child establish his or her own \”sense of presence\” and \”security.\” In this way, the child will feel that he is loved and will not act panicked everywhere. Must-read parenting books for parents recommend unconditional parenting e-book download for children aged 2 years old: \”No\” is the first year to develop a child\’s sense of humor. From the age of 2, children begin to have self-awareness, will, and intentions. But they don\’t know how to express it, and even they themselves don\’t understand their intentions. When dealing with such a young baby, the main discipline techniques are guidance and detours. Safety first, don’t tell your children not to play or touch. Parents need to lock up what should be locked up and buckle the lids on what should be covered. Explore the child\’s daily routine and take appropriate measures before the child falls into a trap that may lead to bad moods, such as letting the child eat, sleep, and take him to other places to play. Understand many of the children\’s \”bad behaviors\” as children\’s knowledge-seeking behaviors of exploring and learning. For example, if you teach your child how to build building blocks, he will push down your finished product and refuse to learn from you. At this time, you should interpret his behavior as: he is now more interested in the phenomenon when the blocks collapse, and he is thinking about the relationship between pushing and falling. When a child is 2 years old, it is also a critical year for cultivating a child\’s sense of humor. Parents should try to discover their children\’s \”humor\”, support their children\’s \”willfulness\”, and allow their children to express themselves. Just like many quirky children, when they encounter some overwhelmed situations, they will suddenly say something like \”little adult\”, which will \”warm up the scene\” and everyone will laugh. Let people driveThe heart is a magical ability. If a child can have such an ability, parents should not suppress their child\’s nature. 3 years old: The first year to cultivate children\’s creativity. 3-year-old children are friendly and calm, relatively secure, easy to accept, and willing to share. At the age of 3, his always tough attitude of rejection decreased and was replaced by sharing or dependence, but he could also experience his own growth and enhancement of abilities. He has become quite mature and comfortable in controlling his body movements. He has a steady pace, makes sharp turns with ease, and his language skills are developing better. The president of Tsinghua University once said: What we need in the future are creative children, and those children who can only do questions and not think will be destined to be eliminated in the future. Starting from the age of three, children start to have unlimited imagination and begin to use more senses to experience the surrounding environment after they have a certain understanding. Many times, children\’s creativity is achieved through \”making fooling around\”. For example, when making dumplings, the children started their own creative competition, and dumplings with various small animals were freshly baked. It\’s like when eating, some children insist on \”stacking\” ham and pancakes alternately to make a \”big hamburger.\” Many parents have a headache just thinking about the flour-filled house and the messy dining table, so they start to stop their children. But in fact, this is the critical period for cultivating children\’s \”creativity\”. If parents are good at guiding and encouraging their children, let them draw pictures, make mud, make up stories, or even play with flour. Children can develop positive thinking and creative thinking patterns. 4 years old: The year when the child turns into a \”little language genius\”. At the age of 4, the child will turn into a \”little chatterbox\”. He wants to express everything and has many \”little ideas\” of his own. But at this time, children may also have difficulty expressing themselves. Therefore, during the period of rapid development of language expression ability, parents must help their children clarify their logic and express themselves clearly. Parents can repeat the meaning of the child\’s words in clear language after the child expresses it, which can give the child a greater sense of context. In addition, a four-year-old child can have \”a hundred thousand whys\” every day. Parents must respond to their children in a timely manner and guide their children to express themselves. 5 years old: A year when the parent-child relationship develops harmoniously. The life of a 5-year-old child is always closely related to \”now\” and \”here\”. He cared deeply about his room, his home, his street, his neighbors, and his kindergarten classroom. 5-year-old children naturally become quieter, more controlled, and more family-oriented. He gradually became more psychologically dependent on his family, hoping to feel more \”care\” in the family. In addition, children will also rely more on their mothers at this time and hope to receive their mother\’s affirmation and support. Parents must be careful not to ignore their children\’s emotional needs and pay more attention to their children\’s expressions and changes. When children are expressing, parents should be more patient and not appear impatient. 6 years old: The year when children\’s inner conflicts are most prominent. As children grow older, after the age of 6, children will seek more of their own \”sense of existence.\” When children continue to \”collide\” with the external environment, they will encounter many doubts and puzzles. At this time, the child\’s heart will be full of conflicts, and he doesn\’t know how to deal with many things. Faced with thisIn some cases, the child may have severe mood swings, cry, or lose his temper. At this time, parents must remain patient, hug the child, ask about the child\’s specific situation, and do not blame the child blindly. Only when parents help their children learn how to deal with various conflicts with the outside world can children develop a sound character. 7 years old: The first year of cultivating children\’s independence. 7-year-old children no longer talk back to you like they did when they were 6 years old, but they don\’t like to interact with others as much. He tends to have a poor memory, is easily distracted, is slow to learn, and is not interested in helping around the house. When others ask him to do something, he often doesn\’t answer or act for a long time. He lives in his own secret garden, full of sentimental undertones. He will feel that others do not like him and are deliberately causing trouble for him. A 7-year-old child can easily imagine the bad side of everything. A 7-year-old child is very concerned about not being late for school, completing homework in time, and receiving his own things in his own place. From this time on, the child becomes more concerned about how others evaluate him. To be precise, he began to care about what the teacher thought of him, and began to want to be a good student who would satisfy the teacher. Moreover, his mind has matured to the point where he needs his own space. That\’s why he likes to have his things in his own place. At this time, the child needs his own desk, his own drawer, his own box, and his own bed. Children at the age of 7 begin to care about their status and value in the family. Therefore, at this stage, parents should give their children more encouragement to build their children\’s self-confidence. In life, you can let your children do more things and cultivate their independence. In terms of academics, supervise but do not take charge of everything, so that children understand that learning is their own business. 8 years old: The 8-year-old child suddenly becomes strict with himself and others, and can even be said to be very harsh. At this time, they began to establish the concept of moral right and wrong, and began to understand the cause-and-effect relationship between things. He desperately wants to be a \”good kid,\” willing to get things done and follow the rules. His concept of good and bad is no longer limited to whether his parents allow him to do something, but based on his budding causal logical relationship, he has initially established a concept of right and wrong. Before that, children\’s judgments of \”good\” and \”bad\” came from their parents\’ \”permission\” or \”disapproval\”. An 8-year-old child\’s view of \”right and wrong\” is no longer a simple polarity of \”good and bad\”, and his thinking begins to become fuller. He cares about how he feels about himself and how others feel about him. He would keep his ears open to listen to what adults said about him when they chatted, or try to figure out their expressions when they spoke. I really want to be recognized and praised by others, but I am very sensitive to criticism from others. So when he is criticized, he often finds reasons or blames others first to make it easier for him to bear. 8-year-old children are the age when they need their mothers most emotionally. He desperately needs his mother to share his thoughts, fantasies, conversations, and games. He always likes to be with his mother, including working, playing, chatting and reading together, which makes him feel that he \”owns\” all of her. Therefore, no matter how busy a mother is, she must allocate at least half an hour every day to satisfy her children\’s \”all possessions\” wholeheartedly.\”Mother\”\’s psychological needs. This will help the child successfully pass the period of psychological attachment to the mother and lay a solid foundation for the child to calmly move towards independence at the age of 9. It is important to note that the proportion of injuries to 8-year-old children is the highest among all age groups. The tallest. An 8-year-old child is very sensitive to the relationship between his parents. He begins to pay attention to what happens at home, including paying attention to adults’ phone calls, letters, and gossip, trying to find his place in the family. He likes to be with his peers. When playing with children, he likes to play with children of the same gender. The friendship at this time is a true two-way friendship, because he is no longer purely self-centered and begins to pay attention to what others do and think. Not only is he willing to serve others, but he also hopes that others can Like him, he is willing to repay him. 9 years old: The first and second grade homework is not very difficult in one year when learning ability has improved, but the third grade is a huge leap: to be competent in the third grade homework, not only does the child need to have new skills Ways of thinking, new abstract concepts, and children need to use brand-new methods to apply some knowledge they have learned before and can now more or less remember. Teachers are very clear that the requirements for third-grade primary school students are a leap However, many parents do not understand this. Therefore, if a child who has always learned well in the past is suddenly struggling to learn, it is normal. Although many nine-year-old children do face quite severe challenges. Schoolwork is demanding, but more children still like to go to school. The whole routine of getting up in the morning to get ready for school has now become quite smooth, and there is rarely any worry and fuss. And most children have already taken care of it on their own. There are many things that go into getting ready for school. However, having said that, a nine-year-old boy may still lose everything, even if he has prepared everything the night before and put everything in its proper place. However, When going to school, he may not have brought all the things he should bring, so you still have to remind him from time to time. Your child may talk about school more than before when he comes home. He especially likes to talk about some aspects of himself. Successful, outstanding performance, and also like to talk about some special things that happened in school. Since the sense of achievement is very important for children of this age, little boys and little girls tend to become very strong. Whether it is doing homework Still playing, they are unwilling to fail and will try their best. 10 years old: a year when children\’s mobility is significantly enhanced. Children feel as if there is a real watershed between 9 and 10 years old. Once crossed The children have climbed a new mountain, come to a new area, and entered a new growth cycle from 10 to 14 years old. Of course, some children are not yet stable in this new area; Be fully prepared. In general, the life of a 10-year-old child is much better than that of a 9-year-old child, especially he can \”do more things\”. A 10-year-old child is a child with strong mobility, and He is not a child who likes to think. Any simple thing can bring him great happiness, such as being able to go out to play after dinner, no homework, and visiting a children\’s playground. There are very few fears. He used to be afraid of dogs. ,Children who were afraid of the dark are now naturally no longer afraid of these things. The most common emotion expressed by 10-year-old children is anger. Is this surprising to you? When this contented, cooperative, and adorable little 10-year-old gets angry, it\’s like a volcano erupting, fast and violent, even kicking and biting. If he could control it a little better, he would yell, cry, and return to his room while stamping his feet and cursing. Although 10-year-old children can cry when they are angry, in general they feel that \”how can they cry at such an age\”, so tears at this age are the least. A boy may firmly tell you, \”I won\’t cry if I get a cut or if they don\’t take me anywhere,\” but he will still cry if his father dies. The child who was in tears just now can talk to you so calmly in the blink of an eye. Sadness sometimes makes them cry, but less often, and they are more likely to be angry and cry. A 10-year-old may be sad, but usually not deeply. If someone breaks their heart, some children will \”go home crying\”; others will pretend as if nothing has happened and quickly calm down to cover up their embarrassment. 11 years old: In a dynamic and unstable state, 11-year-old children do not deliberately do regular things in terms of self-care and daily routine. Emotionally, signs of rebellion have grown. The self-awareness of 11-year-old children is growing, their awareness of independence is increasing, and capriciousness is the norm, and parents must understand it. In terms of activities and hobbies, the antagonism increases and the child is unwilling to play alone. In school, teachers began to be very strict, and teachers also faced challenges. 12 years old: The characteristics of early adolescence are highlighted. The self-care and daily routine of 12-year-old children have made adults worry a lot. The reduction of negative emotions is the main feature of this age. They are confident, independent, considerate, and self-assertive. In terms of interpersonal relationships, the relationship with family members has eased, and the opposite sex is no longer exclusive. At the same time, people have broad interests and prefer group activities. Enthusiastic, even overzealous, about student life. In terms of morality, they have a little more thinking and a little less impulse. 13-year-old child: A 13-year-old boy with a tangled personality will suddenly make a turn or brake on the road to youth. He changed from the sunshine and calmness he had when he was 12 years old, and fell into a tangled state again. Not willing to interact with others, introverted, a bit withdrawn, and unwilling to be spied on by others. Although he doesn\’t like dealing with adults, he already has his own unique perspective on problems. At this time, he began to know how to restrain himself, he would not eat endlessly, and he could basically go to bed on time. Although his character at this time was gloomy, pessimistic and secretive. However, when it comes to hands-on work, they often have flashes of inspiration and like to knock, repair and make things by themselves. Generally speaking, 13-year-old boys have clearly shown the characteristics of adolescent boys. 14 years old: a year full of vigor and surprise. When he enters the age of 14 from the naughty 13-year-old, in this vibrant year, you will see a young man with changing roles. He loves school and socializing with people, willing to make his life very fulfilling. At 14 years old, he is more tolerant and less critical of things he dislikes than he was a year ago. Despite all the advantages of 14-year-olds, it cannot be ignored that some boys and girls will be exposed to drugs at this time. In terms of sex, 14-year-old teenagers will encounter many problems such as unwanted pregnancy and abortion because they do not have enough knowledge and information. At this time, how parents face and discipline their children\’s sexual problems is a very necessary and difficult matter. Fortunately, most 14-year-olds will show a stronger sense of responsibility, which is gratifying. Raising children is a must for parents. The better you understand your children, the better you can become their life guide.