\”People\’s Daily\”: When a child falls, don\’t rush to help him up. Let him learn to stand up on his own. This is the only way to grow up.

I happened to read a passage in \”People\’s Daily\” before, and it struck a chord with me: Frustration is an indispensable \”growth hormone\” for children. When a child falls, don\’t rush to help him. Let him learn to stand up on his own. This is not only the only way to grow up, but also an important process for children to develop psychological resilience. But not every parent thinks so! When they see their children encountering difficulties: the building blocks they built collapsed, the homework they did was wrong, the test scores failed… many parents are eager to \”intervene\” and are busy \”acting on their behalf\” to help their children solve the problem. Here is a suggestion from a wise father: As parents, let the \”bullets fly for a while\” first, allowing your children to face problems, face difficulties, and feel the growth brought about by setbacks. 1. Children\’s growth requires \”cold-resistant exercise.\” \”People\’s Daily\” recommended to parents – \”36 Psychological Strategies for Family Education\”. The \”Frustration Meter\” ranked fifth. This child has the opportunity to experience failure. Childhood is a training ground where children make mistakes, learn lessons, and develop abilities such as coping skills and resilience. Stephen Cammarata said in the book \”The Power of Intuitive Parenting\”: \”To develop resilience, you must suffer failure, learn to deal with failure, and ultimately achieve success.\” Children\’s initial learning and growth: talking, walking independently , all learned from countless failures. How can you learn those key skills without going through a little setback. After growing up, how can the \”seedlings\” grown in the greenhouse be proud of the frost and snow? Children must be given education on how to tolerate cold setbacks. Interestingly, the scene of my parents raising seedlings in the fields in their early years gave me this answer. First, soak the grain seeds in warm water, then use film to form a shed to allow them to germinate at a suitable temperature. Before transplanting the seedlings, gradually cool down the greenhouse to allow the seedlings to receive \”cold tolerance exercise.\” Rice seedlings need to be \”exercised\” in an environment of 10°C for several days, and they can withstand low temperatures of about 5°C outside. If there is a sudden cold in spring, the seedlings will not freeze. Just as there are spring, summer, autumn and winter in a year, it is normal to encounter some dissatisfaction on the road of life. In order for children to grow, they must experience setbacks. 2. List of 20 setbacks that children must go through. Some parents deliberately give their children some \”blows\”, crying for poverty and pretending to be stupid. This is not frustration education. Frustration education is not about creating difficulties, but teaching children how to face difficulties. The real setbacks are not \”man-made\” for children, but what children actually face – from what really happens in children\’s life and study. In 2000, psychologist Michael and pediatrician Tim created the following table in their book \”The Essentials: Raising Children Ready for Life\” to provide children with the right \”preparation\” for adulthood. situation. List of 20 setbacks that children must experience 1. Not being invited to a birthday party 2. Experiencing the death of a pet 3. Breaking a valuable vase 4. Trying to write a report and still getting a bad grade 5. Leaving home The car broke down far away 6. Seeing the tree he planted dead 7. Being told that a certain class or camp was full 8. Being placed on probation 9. Missing a program because she was helping her grandma 10. Making a show A small car accident 11. Being blamed for something he didn’t do 12. BecauseSomeone misbehaved and canceled an event13. Got fired14. Didn\’t make the elite school team15. Finished last in something16. Got hit by another kid17. Resisted something he was taught18. Deeply regretting saying things that he can’t take back. 19. Not being invited when friends go on an outing. 20. When children from neighboring families play football together, the last one is chosen. From childhood to adulthood, you not only want your children to experience these things, but also to affirm their importance. Ms. Julie Himes, the former provost of Stanford University, believes in her new book \”How to Make Children Adults and Adults\” that good parenting means: Parents must learn to avoid things that you may want to avoid or fear will happen in your children\’s lives. Events in the book are regarded as growth aids in constructing wisdom and perspectives. If these events happen, as parents, we should quietly say to ourselves: \”It is necessary, this is necessary. This is something he needs to experience, at least once in his childhood.\” 3. How to educate children The more frustration you get, the more courage you get? When parents implement frustration education, the first thing they need to do is to change their own concepts and realize that children\’s experience of setbacks is part of growth, not misfortune or bad luck. Unfortunately, today\’s children mostly live in a privileged environment and rarely have the opportunity to truly experience frustration. The starting point of frustration education is often hidden in children’s daily play and sports. These seemingly insignificant experiences actually give them the courage and wisdom to face challenges in the future. First of all, exercise is an important part of frustration education. Every fall and every failure is a valuable opportunity for children to learn how to face setbacks and adjust their mentality. Table tennis Grand Slam winner Deng Yaping said in a program: \”What I value more is the spirit that sports has given me, which means that we must first learn to lose, so that we can better win this life. Sports is the most important thing It’s a good setback education, because it makes me face losing and winning every day, and the training is extremely difficult. Only through persistent training can you beat me and win a game.” Sports is an excellent bridge that allows children to experience failure through sweat and learn how to face winning and losing in life with a peaceful mind. Secondly, it is very important to cultivate children’s growth mindset. Parents should educate their children: Believe that any ability can be improved through hard work, and failure is only a temporary pause in success. Through reading, discussion and practice in daily life, children can gradually develop a positive attitude towards facing challenges. In addition, parents should set an example for their children and demonstrate through their own behavior how to actively deal with setbacks in life. Parents\’ attitudes and behaviors will directly affect their children\’s views and ways of coping with setbacks. You know, in the world of children, setbacks are not a derogatory term, but the only way to grow. come on!