Poor parents cannot raise promising children

A few days ago, I saw this scene at the subway station: a mother took a five- or six-year-old boy on the subway. Before passing through the turnstile, the mother said to the little boy: \”Baby, after you finish swiping your card, hurry up and check in.\” Pass in front of mom, as if you have just entered the station.\” The little boy nodded, followed closely behind his mother, and successfully evaded the fare according to her mother\’s prompts. After the two successfully exited the station, the mother touched the little boy\’s head: \”Let\’s go buy your favorite pizza!\” The little boy said happily: \”Okay!\” Then the mother and son left talking and laughing. . When I saw this, I was shocked. I felt disdainful for the mother, and even more sad for the child: As a mother, how could I teach my children to evade fares for a mere few dollars? A bus ticket can be measured with money, but the education of a child cannot be measured with money. A small benefit was obtained, but something more precious was sacrificed. Every child is a blank slate. The words and deeds of his parents determine his future. How can poor parents set a good example for their children? Poor parents who cannot raise open-hearted children cannot help but think of the great-aunt who occupied the old bungalow in the popular drama \”An Jia\” some time ago. My great aunt was originally a distant relative of the Gong family, the owner of the bungalow. Unfortunately, she lost her husband when she was young and came here with her two young sons. Grandpa Gong felt sorry for her and built a small bungalow next to the bungalow for her to stay temporarily. During this period, the Gong family not only provided food and clothing for her family, but also provided schooling for her two sons. My great-aunt and her two sons have lived here for 40 years. She didn\’t buy a house until the Gong family moved, and the money to buy the house was borrowed from Grandpa Gong and has never been repaid. After they moved away, there was no contact for more than ten years. Until I heard that Mr. Gong was going to sell the old bungalow, my great-aunt took her two sons and the whole family to live in the uninhabitable bungalow again in order to share the housing funds. Mr. Gong\’s company\’s capital turnover was poor and he was in urgent need of money. In order to sell the house as soon as possible, he took into account his past friendship and promised to give three million to his great-aunt and grandma\’s family. But what I didn\’t expect was that the other party didn\’t agree at all and insisted on 50 million. Mr. Gong disagreed, so they stayed inside and refused to leave. In fact, my cousin-in-law\’s family is pretty good now, and the lives of her two sons are considered satisfactory. But people who are poor are used to being careless and want to take advantage of something cheap, let alone a \”big good thing\” like housing distribution? Yu Hongmin once said: \”Families that care about everything and take advantage cannot produce children with a broad mind. It is difficult for us to find a child with elegance and purity in a mediocre family.\” He deeply agrees. My great-aunt’s two sons are this kind of people. The Gong family raised them up, but they not only showed no gratitude at all, but also worked with their mother to \”collect debts\” with a firm attitude. Not only that, during the \”debt collection\” period, conflicts between the two sons\’ small families also continued due to \”interest\” issues. They argue over whose family can sleep on the bed. If you can\’t take advantage of yourself, it\’s because others are selfish. I am afraid that the other party will monopolize the \”huge sum of money\”. Sure enough, a poor-hearted mother gave birth to two poor-hearted families. I wonder if they thought that their children were still present when they were arguing about this? Children are the sequel to their parents, poor-hearted parents, noteYou cannot raise a child with an open heart. Poor-minded parents bring a lifelong sense of scarcity to their children. Psychologist Li Xue once said: \”Being poor for a while will lead to poor hearts for three generations. If parents are not aware and pass on the sense of scarcity to their children, then the child\’s future relationship with money will also be affected. It will be heavy and difficult.\” What parents\’ poverty brings to their children is not only a narrow structure, but also a gap in their hearts that will never be filled. There is a post on Douban: \”What behaviors of your parents have left an indelible impact on you?\” A netizen shared her experience: She said that when she was a child, the most common thing her parents said to her was \”Don\’t compare with other children.\” \”Life is more important than grades.\” The things she likes are just wasteful money in the eyes of her parents. Slowly, she learned to be \”sensible\”. He never asks for gifts like other children. He wears the most tacky clothes his mother bought for him. Standing among the crowd of colorfully dressed people, he looks out of place. There are no snacks, no pocket money, and some are \”poor children become rich early\”. What impressed her most was the fear of getting sick, because every time she got sick, what she got was not her mother\’s greetings, but a scolding: \”I told you to wear more clothes, but if you don\’t wear more clothes, are you getting a cold? You deserve it! You know I will accompany you to give you injections for a day How much salary will be deducted? Do you know how much it will cost you to take injections and medicines? Do you know how many classes you will miss if you take time off for illness?\” In this kind of environment, she never made too many demands on her parents. Being able to strive for the best in terms of grades brings a little comfort to the empty heart. Even if the adults praised her for being sensible, she was not happy. The empty space in her heart tore hard, making her suffocate. It wasn\’t until she grew up that she realized that their family\’s finances were not lacking, but their parents\’ hearts were lacking. Maybe it was because her sense of deprivation as a child was too deep, so after she became financially independent, she began to buy things uncontrollably: she bought a lot of clothes to put in her closet, even though she wore the most ordinary ones when she went out; she bought a lot of dolls, even if they were just Pile them in the corner and eat ashes; buy a lot of snacks, even if your stomach is not good. Doctors recommend eating less fried foods. She said that only when she truly owns it can she feel safe. Psychologist Adler once proposed the concept of \”overcompensation\”: if a person has a certain sense of inferiority in childhood, then he will tend to compensate or overcompensate for that sense of inferiority in later life. But this kind of compensation is only subjective and has no meaning in improving the problem itself. The behavior of the above-mentioned netizens is an act to make up for childhood shortcomings. The sugar you didn’t eat when you were a child has changed its taste when you grow up. The sense of deprivation formed in childhood cannot be filled by more material things when you grow up. The shortcomings you had when you were a child have become a deep-seated uneasiness in your bones when you grow up. Poor-minded parents will give their children a lifelong sense of deprivation. Loving children starts with being a \”rich-hearted\” parent. In fact, true love and education have nothing to do with money. The father in the movie \”The Pursuit of Happiness\” invested all his wealth in a new type of medical device, but sales were difficult and his life was once in poverty. His wife even left him and his son because of this. However, he did not cry or complain to his children because of the difficulties in life. Instead, he told his children to stay optimistic and maintain their original aspirations. He taught his children to be confident: \”No one can deny you and say you can\’t be talented, not even me! \”Tell children to learn to stick to their dreams: \”If you have a dream, defend it. \”Even if I couldn\’t pay the rent for a while, I didn\’t threaten the child not to eat snacks, and didn\’t make the child feel \”I don\’t deserve it.\” Instead, he said: \”You can choose one. \”He once spent long nights in the toilet with his children, he once worked non-stop just for a bed in the relief station, and he once tried bit by bit under the dim light to repair the machine that would be enough for him and his children to live on. He also read and studied in a messy restaurant, trying to successfully pass the six-month unpaid internship job and become a regular employee. Is it difficult? Difficult. Is it poor? Not poor. Because real poverty is not a lack of material, but a barrenness of the soul. This Through his own optimism and persistence, a father successfully became a stock investor, which not only improved his life, but also set an example for his children. Inner wealth is probably the best love and gift a father can give to his children. Don\’t let your inner wealth be the best love and gift for your children. The lack of food drains the nutrients out of children\’s hearts. No matter whether you are poor or rich, please tell your children: You deserve all the best things. If you can\’t have them now, you will definitely deserve them in the future. Because material hardships cannot be trapped. A rich heart. The German philosopher Jaspers wrote in \”What is Education\”: \”The essence of education means that one tree shakes another tree, one cloud pushes another cloud, and one soul awakens Another soul. \”Dear parents, don\’t limit your children\’s structure because of your own situation. If the financial situation is not good, don\’t blame others and pass on the anxiety of \”poor heart\” to your children. If the financial situation is good, don\’t hide it covertly. Let the imprint of \”poor heart\” be engraved on children\’s hearts. Education is a journey of cultivating the heart. Let us use a full heart to awaken another equally full heart!