Psychology professor shares how to play with children to make them smarter

Not long ago, I had an afternoon tea party with a child psychology professor in an early childhood education course I took in New York. Because Little D was born prematurely, she would undergo cognitive tests at regular intervals, and the person who conducted the tests was a psychologist. So I took the opportunity to ask a professional question: How can I create a smart preschooler? The professor blurted out, play, play a lot, play a lot correctly! The professor\’s words are actually telling us a very critical point of early enlightenment. Play is very important. Play is a child\’s learning and a child\’s work, and it is also the connection between the child and the world. But sometimes we tend to narrow our understanding of \”playing\”, so \”playing with you\” becomes one-sided. So today I want to share with you the key points I learned that day, and what is the correct way to start playing with preschoolers. Play to strengthen parent-child relationship The importance of early enlightenment is constantly being emphasized, and because of this, many parents have forgotten the true meaning of \”play\”. As a result, many parents feel aggrieved and anxious. I have a companion to play with, but she is not interested in reading picture books to her. I teach her to recognize graphics, but she does not read them either. Children are born without instructions, but playing with them is the gateway for us to enter their hearts. The professor said that play is like an invitation from a child to invite us to his home. The basic etiquette of being a guest is that we must accept the host\’s request and we must do as the host does. But now many parents’ way of “playing with them” has become uninvited and attacking. We don\’t care whether the children want to play with us or not, we only play with them when we are free and only when we remember. What\’s even worse is that we don\’t observe what our children are interested in. We only do what we think is right and what can inspire our children the most. This is just like many parents who only have 15 minutes a day. The first thing we think of is reading picture books. , because it’s good for cognition. But we have neglected that the so-called cognitive development is a process of several years or even more than ten years. Only by first letting the children not reject us from visiting their homes often can we continue to provide cognitive guidance. The first rule when playing with us is to never think about “teaching” first, but first make sure that the door of our children is always open to us. If you really only have 15 minutes for your child every day, then put everything aside and laugh loudly and crazy with your child without any distractions. After the first step of playing with the greatest possible diversity is done, we can talk about the next two points. When it comes to what to play, there are always two extreme schools around me: one is basically free-range and lets the children go crazy outside every day; the other is basically a theoretical school, arranging a lot of sitting activities every day to develop the children\’s various aspects. Aspect abilities. For preschool children, the content of play must be diverse, must combine movement and stillness, and be able to play freely. Children\’s own nature will have preferences. Because of this, we parents must consciously strike a balance. Children who like to be quiet should take their children out to play more often, play more wildly with them, and ensure that they have a certain amount of time for outdoor activities every day; children who love to be active should consciously develop correct study habits and have some fun every day. Time to read picture books and do some puzzles, activities that can give them a chance to calm down. Children who like puzzles usually have better thinking skills. At this time, you need to consider whether there is a lack of imagination. Children who like to play with building blocks usually have a better sense of space. At this time, you need to check the child\’s language expression ability. Play is just a means, our ultimate goal in raising children is to create a \”well-rounded person\”. And a \”comprehensive person\” must start from a \”comprehensive child\”. Don\’t artificially set shortcomings for your children because of parents\’ own preferences. Playing requires a social environment. The professor also told me that many troublesome behavioral problems that occur in children after school are actually traced back to the root cause, which is found to be insufficient play in preschool. So part of her job is to correct these problems in children through play. Among them, a large part of the problems, such as being unsociable, not obeying instructions, prone to anger, etc., are all due to the fact that the play environment did not create enough social experiences since childhood. This is actually a misunderstanding that many of our parents have. When it comes to play, we think of cognitive enlightenment. When it comes to cognitive enlightenment, we are limited to reading picture books, recognizing colors and shapes, and being able to count. Naturally, these aspects are conducted on children alone, thus neglecting another large aspect of play, which is how to learn to interact with children of the same age through play. Generally speaking, children after one and a half years old will begin to realize the existence of children of the same age. Although there is not much interaction, they will become willing to have children of the same age around them, and then they can play their own things. At this time, we must consciously create more conditions so that children can experience the feeling of being comfortable with other people. The first step in the development of a child\’s social skills is to accumulate comfortable experiences with others. After the age of 2, we can start playing some cooperative games with our children. For example, invite some children to draw on a piece of white paper together. Although everyone draws their own pictures, they use the paint in the middle together. This is the prototype of sharing. Another example is to guide several children to play the \”red light, green light stop\” game, which is the beginning of learning to obey instructions. It may seem like the child has learned nothing, but these basic social skills will have a long-term impact on the child\’s future development. Allowing the child to become a \”social person\” is a key to parenting. After the professor shared this that day, I asked another question. The topic of children\’s enlightenment is really big, and it can be branched out into so many courses. So for ordinary parents, how can they ensure that they are not going astray in raising their children? The professor said that it is actually very simple. Always remember three points: we are raising a multi-dimensional person, not a commodity that reaches milestones. This will remind us of the standard of a \”comprehensive child\”; we are raising an independent child. People, rather than learning machines that can learn language, mathematics, colors, etc., will remind us of the standards of \”social children\”; and the most important thing is that play must first be interesting, stress-free, and relaxed, which is the basis of the parent-child relationship. Bond, parent-child relationship is 1. Without this 1, all subsequent enlightenment is 0!