Raising a daughter like her will make it difficult for the child not to stand out!

Some time ago, I was hit by the \”porcelain doll\” Ai Fukuhara! Because she announced her \”retirement\” on Weibo. Although netizens were reluctant to give up on Ai Jiang\’s decision, they still expressed their love in unison. They said that Xiao Ai is one of the Chinese people\’s favorite Japanese girls and the most popular Japanese athlete in China! Even the Ministry of Foreign Affairs has stamped Xiao Ai’s efforts for Sino-Japanese friendship. Foreign Ministry spokesperson Hua Chunying said: \”Ai Fukuhara is a table tennis player who is very loved by the Japanese people, and many Chinese people also like her very much. We hope that more people in China and Japan can be committed to Sino-Japanese friendship and promote Contribute to the friendly exchanges and cooperation between China and Japan.\” This former \”group favorite\” of the Chinese table tennis team is a very popular \”national treasure\” in Japan, and the Japanese love her as their own daughter. Fujisan TV even condensed Fukuhara Ai’s growth into a 92-minute documentary. More than 3,000 video tapes, more than 60 boxes of interview materials, and 24 years of non-stop filming… tell the story of her fate with table tennis. With a Douban score of 9.1, Fukuhara Ai has grown from a bouncing, inexperienced little girl to a gentle and sweet woman with her own family and children; from the girl who cried anxiously because she couldn\’t serve The little girl became the captain and main force of the Japanese table tennis women\’s team. So much has changed in 24 years, but the only thing that remains unchanged is her love for table tennis! When asked, \”What does table tennis mean to you?\” Her answer was firm: \”An existence that absolutely cannot be lived up to.\” In Japan, Fukuhara Ai has been called a \”genius girl\” by coaches, the media, and people around her since she was a child because of her excellent skills. But in my opinion, genius may initially come from talent, but if you want to truly grow, you must have a good upbringing. After watching her documentary, I became more convinced of this idea. Ai Fukuhara’s mother, Chiyo Fukuhara, is definitely a leader in the parenting world. If there had been WeChat and Weibo in that era, she would have been a \”parenting star\” sought after by thousands of mothers. Parents who know their children best use encouragement and guidance instead of blame. The program crew said that the first time they met Xiao Ai was at the 1993 national competition for primary school students. Among the many brothers and sisters, I immediately spotted the little girl who was much shorter in stature. Wearing white Mickey canvas shoes and braided hair, she looked like a doll. To be honest, for such a little girl, it\’s hard to believe that she can play ball. Therefore, until the start of the game, the program team always put a question mark on \”Little Ai can play ball\”. But 4-year-old Ai Fukuhara used her strength to tell everyone, \”I can play ball.\” She won the second grade of elementary school in the first game. She was so happy that she didn\’t even know that her shoe had fallen off. During the halftime break, the mother in the stands did not hesitate to praise her daughter, \”It\’s great to win after a draw.\” Such specific and clear praise is more powerful than a thousand \”you are awesome\”. The second game was a hard fight. Fukuhara Ai lost one game first and ran to her mother with tears in her eyes. When encountering such a situation, many mothers may blame or even ridicule their children because they are anxious, just like the little boy below. But Ai Fukuhara’s motherMom was not anxious about her \”escape\”, let alone blamed. Just hold her hand tightly and let her carefully look at the \”code\” in the palm of her hand – timing and concentration. Then he loudly and firmly said to Xiao Ai: \”Play hard and concentrate! Look for the right moment and be more proactive!\” The 15 words of encouragement and guidance gave Xiao Ai a strong psychological hint, allowing her to believe in herself and not be afraid. Make mistakes and have the courage to try. This is more effective and real than empty comfort. When Ai Fukuhara returned to the court, it was like a different person, taking the initiative to attack and smashing frequently, and finally won this game. Next, Fukuhara Ai went all the way until the top 8 battle, when she encountered a thorny problem-the serve did not meet the standards. Under the pressure of frequent warnings from referees and complaints from the opposing coach, little Ai Fukuhara collapsed and ran to her mother on the sidelines. \”I know you are a little nervous when you serve. Even if it doesn\’t work, you have to give it a try. Open your hands and throw it up. Open your hands and throw it up.\” Mom\’s three short sentences contain great wisdom in parenting: full Empathy, let Xiao Ai know that her mother understands her emotions; positive encouragement, dare to try, don\’t pay too much attention to the results; repeated guidance, \”open your hands and throw up\”, the key points of serving are these two steps. Although Ai Fukuhara returned to the game again, she still lost the game. My mother said in a subsequent interview, \”Put the ball in the palm of your hand and throw it upwards. If you don\’t master this action, it won\’t work. Even if you win now, the situation will be the same next year.\” In the eyes of Chiyo Fukuhara, the process is more important than the result. Failure is not necessarily a good thing, but it is at least not bad. Because we can learn from failures. As children grow up, allow them to make mistakes and tell them that mistakes are respected. It is not terrible to make mistakes. Just discover it and correct it. In fact, Chiyo Fukuhara did exactly that. After the national competition, she developed targeted serving training for Fukuhara Ai. At the beginning, Fukuhara Ai always couldn\’t do it well, so her mother held her little hand and took her time to find the feeling over and over again. After a week, I was noticeably better. Two weeks later, practice on spot serving has begun. Fukuhara Ai, who mastered the correct serve, won the championship in the subsequent city and provincial competitions, and also won the first gold medal in her life. As the days pass, the \”porcelain doll\” Xiao Ai has grown into a slim girl. At the age of 10, she officially became a professional table tennis player. At the age of 14, she became the youngest player in history to win the World Championships. At the World Championships in France, 14-year-old Ai Fukuhara made a splash, defeating Li Jiawei, the favorite to win the gold medal. In the post-game interview, she said: She was really focused on the game and her mind went blank! During the game, my hands started to move on their own. Ai Fukuhara is still moving forward. After a hard battle with the number one player in South Korea, she successfully advanced to the top 8. Prior to this, Japan had missed this ranking for 14 years. After the game, she was interviewed again, and she was still concise and to the point: She was just thinking about the path of the ball, and she aimed to hit wherever her opponent\’s openings were! Although Ai Fukuhara has been selected for the Japanese national team at this time, and although her coach is no longer her mother Chiyo Fukuhara, her understanding of table tennis and her understanding of table tennis are still there.The belief in the competition comes from the encouragement and guidance her mother gave her when she was a child: focus and timing! Timely nudge and timely exit. As she grew up, Fukuhara Ai became stronger and more mature. But once upon a time, like other children of the same age, she wanted to retreat when encountering difficulties. Whenever this happens, her mother Chiyo Fukuhara’s choice is: nudge. In the first national competition where she failed to reach the top 16, Fukuhara Ai wanted to \”escape\” because her serve was irregular. At this time, her mother said categorically: Because she knows that Fukuhara Ai, who is \”trying to escape\” at this moment, may miss a lot of wonderful things. , will become more and more fragile. Therefore, she needs to become a \”tiger mother\” and give her a nudge in time. In the second national competition, Xiao Ai successfully advanced to the finals. But due to nervousness, his whole body was stiff and tears oozed from his eyes. At this time, the mother held Xiao Ai\’s hand tightly and patiently guided: \”Play ball by ball, and don\’t let the opponent score consecutively!\” Seeing that Xiao Ai was still discouraged, the mother held her frustrated face affectionately. The little face kept cheering her up: \”No problem, believe in yourself! Come and have a laugh!\” This time Xiao Ai was different from the last time. What she was escaping was not the pressure from the outside world, but her own inner demons. Therefore, her mother chose to use intimate body language and strong psychological suggestions to give her more comfort and relief and help her face her feelings. The only purpose of doing this is to let Xiao Ai understand: her nervousness comes from her own worries, not from the \”danger\” in reality. I have written an article specifically about \”nudging\” before. What should we do with children who shrink back when encountering difficulties? | Must-know rules for raising babies (3) Little Ai has lived up to her mother’s expectations. When she returned to the court again, she put all the skills she had learned this year to use. After constantly attacking, attacking, and attacking, the 5-year-old kindergarten kid successfully became the youngest champion in history! The shortest girl, who is 105 centimeters tall, proudly raised the championship trophy and became famous in one battle. At this time, the \”genius table tennis girl\” Fukuhara Ai would hear many people calling her \”Ai-chan\” while walking on the road, and would see many people taking photos of her. She even had her own exclusive fan group. Even though she has been living in the spotlight since then, Fukuhara Ai has been working hard towards her goals and never stopped. It wasn\’t until she was 12 years old that her table tennis life reached an important turning point. Former world champion, 36-year-old Chili Koyama told the media: \”In China, there are 1,000 players like Fukuhara Ai.\” What? Are there really 1,000 players in China who are at the same level as me? Fukuhara Ai was surprised and curious when hearing the news. So, she participated in China\’s third-level league and wanted to find out for herself. Before departure, the program team interviewed the mother, Chiyo Fukuhara. She said calmly: \”Going to China is a good place and a good opportunity for children to grow up independently!\” Such scenes and words made me suddenly think of Long Ying Taiwan, she once said: The so-called relationship between parents and children only means that your fate with him is that you will continue to watch his back fade away in this life. You stand at this end of the path and watch him gradually disappear at the turning point of the path. Moreover, he uses his back toSilently telling you: No need to chase. Yes, from the time she started practicing table tennis at the age of 3 years and 9 months, until she achieved some success at the age of 12, Ai Fukuhara has been learning and growing up with her mother. But this time, my mother chose to withdraw because she felt that \”now may be the best time.\” I can understand Chiyo Fukuhara’s choice. Every child will grow up and become an independent individual. It is impossible for my mother to be a crutch for Fukuhara Ai for the rest of her life. One day, she will learn to face the competition independently and face the future life independently. Choosing to exit at the right time is the best growth gift a mother can give her daughter. Facts have proved that my mother\’s decision was right. Xiao Ai in China has really become a lot more independent and grown up a lot. Even if your mother is not around, you can take a plane or a train and embark on a journey to a foreign country; without your mother, you can still do your own laundry, cook and eat healthy food; without your mother, you can still take the initiative to make friends and learn to speak Northeastern dialect; Even without my mother by my side, I can calmly face a field full of strangers and swing with confidence. Just like what Ai Fukuhara wrote in her retirement statement a few years later: Once I went to China to practice ball, I felt that my ball improved a lot. Although the training is very hard, every time I return to Japan to play games, I feel particularly confident and achieve good results. The best education is to teach by words and deeds. \”Companyship is the longest confession of love.\” This sentence is perfect for Chiyo Fukuhara and Ai Fukuhara. Since childhood, Fukuhara Ai has grown up with her mother\’s wholehearted company. Mom witnessed Xiao Ai’s first walk, first fall, and first time… touching a racket. Speaking of which, Ai Fukuhara’s relationship with table tennis began by chance. In the living room of Ai Fukuhara\’s Sendai home, there is a table tennis table. This was specially prepared by his mother for his brother who was learning table tennis. Ai Fukuhara, who had just reached the height of the table, also took the first step in her table tennis life here. Many people may think that her mother, Chiyo Fukuhara, has been deliberately training Fukuhara to play table tennis since she was a child. But in fact, she has never had any utilitarian intentions, and she has never set any goals that Fukuhara Ai must achieve. Because she feels that love must come from the heart. However, children’s temperament is always “three days fishing and two days drying nets”. In order to let Xiao Ai persevere, Fukuhara Chiyo made a promise with her daughter from the very beginning to \”never give up halfway.\” So, every day, she would play ball with Xiao Ai wholeheartedly, and she was very interested. In this way, year after year, she played basketball with her daughter for more than ten years. What\’s even more impressive is that now, at the age of 65, she is still playing and teaching others to play. What perseverance this is! I have always felt that the best education and the best environment are not about money, but about words and deeds. Chiyo Fukuhara used his actions over more than ten years to teach his daughter what \”persistence\” is and what \”love\” is. And Fukuhara Ai also understood all this. She kept her promise with her mother and played table tennis for 26 years. Even though she lost her halo and there were no cameras following her; even though she was seriously injured and needed massage and surgery to relieve her pain; even though she competed several times and missed medals several times, she never forgot \”\”Making Japanese table tennis better\” is her responsibility and mission, and she never gave up any opportunity to win medals and bring glory to the country. Therefore, she competed again and again, and finally, at the Olympics, Together with her teammates, she won the medal she had been waiting for for many years. After the award ceremony, she put her medal around her mother\’s neck. Her mother, Chiyo Fukuhara, touched the medal and said to her daughter, \”I\’ve been in it for more than 20 years!\” \”For more than 20 years, Fukuhara Ai has become connected with other people and other things through table tennis. Along the way, Fukuhara Ai has moved forward and faced challenges head-on. This unremitting effort and single-minded focus on table tennis are very eye-catching and Very dazzling! Of course, the most enviable thing is that Ai Fukuhara has a mother who has always been with her, encouraged her, guided her, and loved her deeply! Picture source: \”Ai Fukuhara: A Quarter of a Century Under the Lens\”