Really awesome parents never bother their children with trivial matters

A psychologist told a story: When he was 3 years old, the child ran all the way and fell down in the park. Just when his face was in pain, his parents rushed over and said, \”What am I talking about? Run slower, run slower, don\’t you?\” \”Listen, did you fall again?\” When the child was 5 years old, he accidentally dropped a dumpling on his clothes. When he was at a loss, his parents came over and said, \”Why are you so careless? The new clothes you just wore are dirty again!\” \”When I was 7 years old, my child forgot to bring his homework to school and was criticized by the teacher. The parents were sarcastic again at night: \”I told you not to clean up last night, so you will have a better memory this time!\” When he was 10 years old, his child failed in an exam, and his parents muttered at the dinner table: \”What\’s the use of raising you?\” \”Look at other people\’s children\”… As a result, when he was 12 years old, the child was diagnosed with moderate depression. The parents looked in disbelief: \”How could this happen? We obviously didn\’t do anything to him!\” The most terrifying thing about a family is like this – constantly attriting their children over little things. It was clearly an unintentional mistake that could be ignored, but he still held on to it, nagging and vehemently blaming the child. Children who grow up in such an environment are often mentally and physically exhausted, walking on thin ice, and live a painful and depressed life. There used to be a hot topic on Weibo called \”Bad families always waste their children on trivial things.\” How small is it? Even if the shoes are placed in the wrong position, a piece of meat falls off while eating, the clothes are stained, or a word is written incorrectly… parents have to find faults with their children and teach them a lot of truths. A few days ago, netizen @黑tailou1998 broke the news about her experience: She was waiting for a table to eat hot pot, and there was a father and son waiting for a table next to her, and they were discussing what to eat later. The father very \”considerately\” lets his child choose a dish he likes to eat. The son chose brown sugar glutinous rice cake, but was rejected. The father\’s reason was: \”Order something that can be rinsed.\” The child was a little unhappy, but he still defended: \”You told me what I want to eat!\” The father retorted: \”That\’s it. If you don\’t finish it, the rest will be wasted.\” The child wanted to show off, \”Whatever, just watch it.\” But the father was unhappy: \”We agreed to choose one for each person, and it\’s up to you. \”The son was a little anxious: \”I want to order glutinous rice cake, but you won\’t let me!\” Then the father argued again and suggested that his son order \”small crispy pork\”. The child was completely ruined by now, so he threw away the menu and said, \”I don\’t want to eat anything.\” The father slowly picked up the menu and said, \”Isn\’t it just a glutinous rice cake? Okay, okay, I\’ll let you order it, okay?\” Put a tick on the menu. The child immediately ran away, shouting loudly: \”I don\’t want it, I don\’t want it! I don\’t want to eat, okay!\” The father was no longer happy and began to point at the child and educate him: \”What are you talking about? Look around, who looks like you?\” , so unqualified?\” The boy stopped talking, suppressing his blush, and tears fell down. The mother, grandparents and other family members on the side heard the news and came over. Under the father\’s accusation, they worked together to \”educate\” the boy. I can understand the boy\’s devastated mood very well. It is obvious that a plate of brown sugar glutinous rice cake can solve trivial matters, but they use various reasons to reject, control, and blame the children, and to impose moral standards on the children.The \”shackles\”. In the end, the child loses control of his emotions, doesn\’t eat well, and may even fall into a shadow because of this incident and find it difficult to extricate himself. What a family fears most is not poverty, but the constant consumption of children over trivial matters. I saw a video: a little boy accidentally spilled watermelon juice, and a full glass of drink spilled all over the table. Seeing the mess all over the table, my father immediately brought a tissue to wipe it. Looking at the guilty and uneasy eyes of the little boy, the mother immediately comforted the child: \”It\’s okay, he will be fine soon.\” After listening to the mother\’s words, the boy\’s face immediately returned to a smile. Then, the mother gave her watermelon juice to the child, the father poured his own to the mother, and the sensible boy gave some of his own bowl to his father. The family ate happily. After seeing it, many netizens expressed their defense: \”I burst into tears. It turns out that you don\’t need to be blamed for doing something wrong.\” \”I remember one time when I was playing with children, I accidentally hit my head on the wall and broke the back of my head. I rushed The father who came here not only did not comfort me, but instead blamed me first, which made me really sad…\” This is actually the difference in family atmosphere. If you continue to be internally conflicted about small things, it will only make the family atmosphere tense and make the children anxious and depressed. Only by being emotionally stable, optimistic, and creating a peaceful, pleasant, and relaxing family atmosphere can we give our children a full sense of happiness. Once during an exam, Teacher Fan Deng’s son made a mistake in writing a word, which was Fan Deng’s word “Deng”. Teacher Fan did not criticize him, but praised him: What you did in ancient times was very advanced, and it was called \”taboo for the venerable.\” The ancients did not write their father\’s name or the emperor\’s name directly. They had to write it wrong. Yes, it is a sign of loyalty and filial piety. Not only did it comfort my son, but it also made him remember the word \”Deng\” deeply. Everyone makes mistakes when they are careless and sloppy. If you expand a small matter infinitely, the consequences will only become more serious. Only when big things are reduced to trivial matters will it be easier for children to turn over stories and the parent-child relationship will be more harmonious. If the dishes are broken, we clean them up together. If we take the wrong path, we treat it as seeing one more scenery. Only by being more tolerant and understanding and less harsh and picky among family members can we make life better. After interviewing 100 families, psychological expert Liu Hesu found that the attitude of a family in dealing with things directly determines the happiness of the family. A happy family never gets involved in small things, but does the following: 1. Allow children to make mistakes. A friend once told me that since she was a child, she would be very nervous as long as she stayed with her mother. \”When I was a child, if I accidentally dropped a few grains of rice while eating, my mother would accuse me of wasting food; if I stumbled while walking, my mother would accuse me of being sloppy; if I forgot to turn off the light when I went to the toilet, my mother would accuse me for a long time; so, I am extremely cautious every time I am at home, for fear of making something wrong. \”But home should be a place where people relax and heal, not a place where people feel tense. One netizen recalled that when he was playing football when he was a child, he accidentally kicked his neighbor\’s precious orchids to pieces. Unexpectedly, after my father apologized to his neighbor, he actually smiled and comforted him: \”You have very strong feet! You may be able to play on the football team in the future!\” \”Dad knows you didn\’t do it on purpose.\”Then, his father took him to find a place suitable for playing football and played with him all afternoon. When he grew up, whenever he thought of that afternoon, he felt particularly warm in his heart. The greatest sense of relaxation in a family is allowing children to make mistakes. Your \”it\’s okay\” is understanding and caring, and will give your child a sense of security and love. 2. Don’t pollute your children with your own emotions. Blogger @张通 shared his personal growth experience. For as long as he can remember, his parents have often argued over trivial matters. If the food my father bought was too expensive, or if he lost dozens of dollars playing cards, he would be scolded by his mother in various ways when he came home. When my mother\’s food was cooked unpalatable, my father would grumble while eating, which made my mother look unhappy. Sometimes even he, who was innocent, would also blame him. In this atmosphere, he always felt particularly depressed and panicked during his childhood, fearing that his mother\’s emotions would fall on him. You know, home is not a dumping ground for emotions, and children should not have to pay for their parents\’ negative energy. Before entering the door every day, remember to dust yourself off and remind yourself to \”leave bad emotions outside the door.\” Don\’t let garbage emotions hurt your children\’s fragile hearts. 3. Don’t use words to unintentionally offend your children. I saw a girl sharing her experience online. The words she heard most since she was a child were: Why did I give birth to such a useless thing like you? She finally passed the second place in the exam and reported the good news with joy, but her mother frowned and said, \”Why don\’t you take the first place in the exam?\” Once, she mustered up the courage to participate in a singing competition, but her mother sarcastically said: \”You are the only one who is like this.\” You have a male duck voice, and signing up is a waste of money.\” Under the attack of her mother\’s words, the girl became more and more inferior and anxious. As children grow up, those words from parents that hurt their children unintentionally are like needles sticking into their children\’s hearts. Therefore, parents must keep their mouths shut. Support your child more, give him praise and encouragement, so that you can continue to nourish him and give him the strength to move forward. 4. Give your children full autonomy and choice. Many parents have similar confusions: \”What do you want to eat for dinner?\” \”Anything is fine.\” \”Do you want to go to the Natural History Museum on the weekend?\” \”Whatever.\” \”What do you want to choose for college? \”Professional?\” But there was no further exploration into whether the child really had no idea or was forced to make a silent compromise. In fact, many children are not unable to make choices, nor do they avoid making choices, but after getting used to being \”negated\” by their parents, they begin to act badly and slowly give up on their choices. You must know that children are independent beings. They are not appendages of their parents, nor are they their kites. By letting go of your desire to control and respecting your children\’s thoughts and feelings, your children will become more confident and assertive. Someone once said: A child is like a sapling, and the family environment is the water that irrigates it. If the water quality is too poor, the saplings will not only fail to become towering trees, but will also die. Parents are their children\’s guides, and family is their children\’s first living environment. If you continue to consume your child in small things, it will affect your child\’s energy and vitality. Only when parents are not entangled, anxious, or intrusive can children be optimistic, open-minded, positive, and go further and further. Click \”Like\” to provide your children with a kind andThe free and relaxed environment allows him to grow up without any worries. I also hope that every child can grow into a big tree with luxuriant branches and full of vitality.