Really smart parents only teach their children to do these two things!

A mother left a message in the background and said: I had an argument with my daughter again today, and I was so angry that I secretly wiped tears in the bedroom. My daughter is now in the second semester of her second year of junior high school and is about to enter the graduation class. But this child didn\’t show any signs of nervousness. As soon as school was over every day, he would chat on WeChat and play games with his mobile phone. I took her cell phone away and asked her to read for a while, but she was so angry that she yelled at me with a red face: \”Mom! Just leave me alone! I\’ve had enough of you, please stop.\” You don’t even understand me!”… I just don’t understand, I am her mother, why can’t I control her? Let her read a book for a while, but you don’t understand her anymore? What are children thinking about today? …I believe most parents have experienced the above troubles. A child who was so cute and obedient when he was young becomes more and more naughty as he grows up. Especially when the child blushes and talks back to you, you will feel a little bit chilled and disappointed. My friend Fan Wei is an expert in child psychology. When she recently shared her parenting experience with parents, she has been emphasizing: \”On the way to educating children, there are two things that are the most basic and effective. If you think raising children Children who are particularly annoyed and tired often do not do enough in these two things!\” Establishing a good parent-child relationship directly determines how your relationship with your children is and whether your children feel respect, fairness, and understanding from you. The effect of education! Those parents who have prestige in their children\’s hearts and have gained their children\’s trust may be able to stop their children\’s bad behavior with just one look and convince their children; while parents who do not have a good relationship with their children may talk a lot and make a lot of sense. , but the educational effect is not good. (1) Be more of a \”lawyer\” and less of a \”judge\”. The job of a \”judge\” is to characterize the case and draw conclusions; and what lawyers are good at is unconditional acceptance, listening to the parties\’ demands, and standing in the parties\’ position. Consider the parties involved. More often than not, \”home\” is a place of love, so accepting and listening like a \”lawyer\” can make your children feel your respect and care, and they will be more willing to listen to you. However, in most cases, we often play the role of a \”judge\” and reprimand our children with \”judgment\” at every turn: \”Why are you so mean? You have torn apart a good toy.\” \”Why are you so… \”Stupid, how many times have I told you this question?\”… If this goes on for a long time, the children will think that you are aloof, grumpy and majestic, and will feel fear and hostility towards you. Naturally, they will not have a heart-to-heart relationship with you. You If so, the child won’t really take it to heart. (2) Be more of a \”cheerleader\” and less of a \”referee\”. Cheerleaders are always positive and optimistic. They cheer for their players when they lose, and they cheer for their players when they win. But the referee is different. He must always be tight-knit. Keep an eye on everyone\’s shortcomings and issue the most severe warnings and punishments without mercy. On the way of growing up, the child seems to be a novice forever. He has to learn to dress, eat, hold a pen, and write from scratch… When he does not do well in these things, his parents\’ encouragement and encouragement can help him. Children build up their self-confidence very well and keep trying with a relaxed attitude. However, if parents are always in the position of \”referee\”In the role, there are always accusations and punishments. Although the purpose is good, it is easy for children to feel afraid of one thing and gradually lose their inner motivation. Therefore, when a child\’s handwriting is not good, instead of saying \”It\’s crooked and ugly, is there a northwest wind blowing?\”, it is better to say, \”My child, if you write this horizontally flatter, it will look better!\” When you fail in the exam again, instead of endlessly blaming you, it is better to say: \”Mom was not good at studying before. She got 25 points in the exam, but she later caught up. Do you want to know what method I used?\” Children with good living habits always learn the most basic attitudes and habits in life from the small things of daily life, food, clothing, and daily life, which will deeply affect their future study, work, and even marriage life. Many children who have a lot of bad habits and problems in learning can always find the source in their living habits. (1) The habit of organizing and organizing Just imagine how organized and autonomous a child who has never put away his toys or clothes since he was a child can be when faced with piles of test papers and handouts when he grows up? Dirty and disorganized materials will seriously affect the efficiency of children\’s learning. After the teacher finished teaching, some children would just throw the test papers, handouts and other materials into the textbook without bothering to sort them out. When I need it in the next lecture, I don’t know where I put it. I take out the textbook and shake it up, but a bunch of them fall out… Children in this learning state are not only very inefficient in class, but also have trouble doing homework when they go home. I often dawdle, writing and playing at the same time. Although I don\’t have much homework, I have to dawdle until 11 o\’clock. Therefore, letting children learn to tidy up their toys and small clothes from an early age and develop a clean and tidy habit will be of great benefit to life and study. (2) Habits of doing housework Whether children do housework or not when they grow up, the gap is really big when they grow up. A 20-year follow-up survey by Harvard University shows that the average income of children who have done housework since childhood is at least 20% higher than that of children who do not do housework. Relevant surveys in China also show that children who have done housework diligently since childhood have an excellent academic performance rate after entering school that is more than 20 times higher than that of children who do not do housework! Let children do housework from an early age, and appropriately give them small tasks such as serving chopsticks, wiping tables, tidying up desks, and washing socks. This not only exercises children\’s sense of family responsibility and awareness of participation, but also allows children to put themselves in their parents\’ shoes and feel the hard work of their parents. . When such children grow up, they have relatively diligent and gentle personalities, and are less likely to be seriously rebellious and arrogant. It is generally believed in the children\’s education industry that the age of 9 is a stable period for children\’s behavioral habits. In other words, when a child is in the third grade, his living habits and study habits gradually stabilize, and there will be no fundamental changes until high school. Therefore, parents whose children are still before this age must pay more attention to these two things: a good parent-child relationship ensures that children are more willing to listen to your suggestions and less rebellious and contradictory; good living habits ensure that It helps children lead a healthy and regular life and also promotes the development of good study habits!