These three cases tell you what makes children gradually \”dislike\” or even \”hate\” learning. 01 Excessive expectations. The boy from a friend\’s family is smart and cute, and has shown a talent for learning since he was a child. He could memorize Tang poetry and Song lyrics before he was 6 years old, and he could easily add and subtract within 100 words. However, can you imagine that such an outstanding child started skipping school at the age of 11 and has now been out of school for two years? Now he sleeps during the day and plays with his mobile phone at night. His parents are extremely disappointed with this, and the child is also giving up on himself. Why would a child who has been so good since childhood become like this? What happened in the middle? It turned out that his parents had a dream, hoping that he could be admitted to Tsinghua University. Therefore, he was given a plan to go to a famous school since he was a child. He shuttled between schools and various training classes seven days a week, and he still had endless homework to finish when he came home. Under the excessive expectations of parents, children are under tremendous pressure. Gradually, he began to hate studying and his grades declined. Unfortunately, when faced with the decline in their children\’s performance, parents did not give them trust and support. Instead, they expressed their disappointment with suspicion and unpleasant words. Faced with the disappointment of their parents, the children feel powerless and gradually dislike learning or even hate learning, starting a vicious cycle. The child said: \”No matter how hard I try, I can\’t meet the expectations of my parents. I feel very helpless.\” Every parent is full of expectations for their children, but excessive expectations will make children feel powerless, and negative expectations will make them feel helpless. The child develops a sense of inferiority. This will cause children to lose their initiative in learning and instinctively avoid learning. So, what kind of expectations will make children increase their learning initiative? ①An expectation full of love and trust means that when a child does well, his parents recognize him; when a child suffers setbacks and does not do well, parents encourage and support him. ②Expectations that match the child\’s current abilities. Expectations that are too high will make the child unable to fulfill them, which will give the child a sense of powerlessness. Expectations that match the child\’s current abilities will make it easier for the child to fulfill them and give him a sense of accomplishment. In other words, the goals set for the children should not be too high. The children can complete the small stage goals of \”jumping and reaching\” and still have time to breathe and play. On the contrary, inappropriate expectations can make children resistant to learning. what to do if the children do not like study? What to do if your child is tired of studying PDF download [35M HD version] 02 I often compare my children with other people’s children. Some people say, how to ruin a child? Just keep comparing him to others. Do you still remember Huanhuan in the TV series \”Little Shede\”? Her mother always compared her with Mi Tao. In the end, she broke down and wanted to run away from home… Huanhuan said: \”Why do you always praise her? I am not as good as her in anything. I won the first place in the exam without her.\” The first place in the exam is amazing…\” She broke down and cried: \”The teacher said that overall quality is the most important, but you always praise her and compare me with her all day long. I hate you…\” Mom: \”You Have you seen it? No matter what your study environment is like, Mi Tao, no one is jealous of you…Similarly, if parents compare their studies with other people\’s children, their children will suffer from inferiority in study and become incompetent in study. .In the process of raising children, many parents willCompare with other children, thinking that this can motivate children to make continuous progress and improve their motivation to learn. However, inappropriate comparisons can have negative effects. It may hurt the child\’s self-esteem, lead to personality anxiety, and make it easy to lose self-confidence in the face of setbacks, leading to self-doubt and denial. In fact, comparison itself is not wrong. Through comparison, you can discover your own shortcomings. An effective comparison is to compare the child\’s current progress with his or her past self, allowing the child to see his or her progress and subtle growth, which will stimulate the child\’s learning motivation and confidence. Therefore, parents can change the comparison object and let their children compare with themselves to find a window for self-breakthrough. Positive comparison is to let children compare with their past selves, not with other people\’s children. Comparing with their past selves will generate motivation, while comparing with other people\’s children will generate pressure. 03 Excessive homework Excessive homework, especially \”mother\’s homework\” that is added halfway, will also make children instinctively resist learning. I once met a student who used to study very well, but for a period of time he was procrastinating in everything he did. I thought to myself that this child was very active in doing homework or other things before, so how could he become procrastinating? After chatting with him, I learned that it turned out that he had \”Mom\’s homework\” when he got home, and he did it slowly to prevent his mother from giving him more study tasks. Because he used to complete his homework quickly, his mother always asked him to memorize more ancient poems, copy more good words and sentences, or memorize more vocabulary, and there was always endless homework. So he decided to do it slowly and still have some time to play while doing it. A suggestion for parents: don’t assign too much homework, encourage children to improve their homework efficiency, and let them find their own play time. Parents can tell their children that if the homework is completed, the remaining time can be freely arranged to do what they like. In this way, children will learn time management and have greater motivation to learn. Conclusion Parents’ expectations for their children are a problem that every family must face. However, having too high expectations may bring a sense of powerlessness to children and even lead to negative emotions, which is something we don’t want to see. Therefore, parents’ expectations should match their children’s existing abilities to avoid children losing their initiative in learning. At the same time, parents’ expectations also need to be filled with love and trust, so that children will feel supported and encouraged. Positive comparison is an effective way to motivate children. Comparing yourself with your past selves allows your children to see their own progress and growth, thereby generating motivation. However, comparing with other people\’s children will make children feel stressed and anxious, which is not conducive to their development. Therefore, parents should guide their children to make positive comparisons and let them learn to see problems from their own perspective. Excessive homework can create fear and stress in children, which is not conducive to children\’s learning and growth. Parents should assign an appropriate amount of homework and avoid adding homework midway, so that children can learn time management and have enough freedom to control their time, so that children will learn time management and maintain motivation to learn.
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