Sensible children are even more distressing

There is a post on Zhihu called \”Are sensible children happy?\” with nearly 4,000 answers. The top 10 answers with the most likes are all \”unhappy\”. One of the answers particularly touched me: \”When my sister was in high school and college, the birthday greeting I gave her every year was: \’I wish you will never be too sensible.\’ Of course, sensible here means approximately The children of poor people should be the ones who should be the masters early. When you are young, you need to be simple, hardworking, perseverant, and depressed…it is too hard to be sensible. Because I was in great difficulties when I was in high school and college, I worked hard to get into college. , when I was at my worst in college, I was given two bowls of free soup, one bowl of rice, and one bowl of food for every meal. Later, I found a good job. When my relatives praised me for being sensible, I really I don\’t know what it feels like to be sensible. But I understand that I have to be sensible. But I don\’t want my sister to have this experience. I bought it for her so that she wouldn\’t have to worry about these things.\” I understand him very well. Mood, because I have been through this myself. I remember that when I was in high school, the monthly living allowance provided by my family was too little, but I was sensible when I thought about the situation at home. He always gritted his teeth and remained silent. I remember that the saddest month was to buy a dish for two meals, then buy a meal for lunch and a meal for dinner. I remember that the vegetable seller was very sympathetic to me. She stopped me several times, then opened the small door next to her, took me to the kitchen, and added some vegetables to me from a basin. Now that I think about it, I still have mixed feelings. This type of sensible children have a common characteristic: they pay too much attention to the feelings of others prematurely, give up their own rights to appeal, and do not dare to be willful and cautious. Internally, I also have low self-esteem, always feeling that my own needs don’t matter, and that adults value myself above all else. How many sensible children are misunderstood by their parents. I remember in an article written by Liu Jirong, she wrote that when her daughter was in kindergarten, the teacher thought about it again and again and said something that made her increasingly embarrassed. Her daughter couldn\’t control her food intake during meals these days, and she often asked for food even if she had a stomachache. Add rice. There was a parent passing by. He turned back curiously and looked at his daughter, with an expression on his face that seemed to be a smile but not a smile. I forced myself to smile in front of the teacher, but in my heart I was so irritable that I wanted to start a fight with someone. Finally, the parents of the child’s classmates told the truth: The child ate so much food, not because she was stupid, nor because she was greedy, but because she felt that her mother worked very hard, and if she had enough to eat, she would not get sick all the time and would get sick quickly. Grow taller and smarter quickly, cook for your mother, help her mop the floor, and your mother will no longer be annoyed. When she learned the truth, she burst into tears. Such a sensible child was always despised by herself. I often complain to God, what kind of child did you give me? Many children silently think about their parents, but at such a young age they cannot express themselves. They carefully observe the world around them, fearing to cause any trouble to others. I am the same, afraid of trouble anyone. But after so many years, I discovered that the person who is really willing to go to trouble must be the person closest to my heart. It\’s troublesome because I like it. A sensible child, even if he is wronged,Dare not speak. I remember when I was a child, my family would not buy me new clothes during the Chinese New Year. When I said it again, the answers I got were \”There\’s no need to buy it\” and \”You have it.\” I fell silent. I also remember being angry several times, crying and saying, \”You said I have it, find it for me, show it to me.\” At this time, the adult\’s face looked embarrassed and angry. Seeing such an expression, I instantly regretted it. Why do you say this to the people who raised you? I didn’t have the extra money to buy it, but at a young age, I still didn’t want to admit this fact. But as I grew up, I became more cautious. That is the \”sensible\” that everyone often praises. There is another person who particularly likes to say this: Don’t buy it, it’s unnecessary and a waste of money. That\’s one of my aunts. My aunt is a very nice person, but her family background is average and she has been living a careful life. Her eldest daughter just started working the year before last. When my cousin first started, she always called me and said she wanted to buy a computer or a camera, and asked me to give her a reference. But just after the call with my cousin, my aunt called me and asked me to persuade her not to buy those things. Every time I do my work for my aunt, I tell my aunt that it is necessary because young people like those things. My cousin has always been a sensible child because she is the eldest child in the family. In my memory, she only lost her temper once, and she always looked calm. Every penny of my salary was given to my mother for safekeeping. He always seems reserved when visiting our home, for fear of troublesome us, and always rushes to do housework. Of course, my sister-in-law still likes her for being diligent, but I really don\’t want her to be too \”sensible\”. In the past few years, she has not said anything about buying anything, nor has she said that she will take a camera to travel. One is that when she grows up, her family must have told her that she is ready to get married. Save more money. A few days ago, he asked me what the house prices in the city were. This sensible sister seems destined to have a lot of hardships waiting for her. We all know that we have to suffer a lot. I just hope she can cry out loud when she\’s sad. Having a shoulder to lean on when you are helpless. When you are troubled, you can find someone to talk to. Don\’t always hold back and dare not speak. We all hope to have a sensible child. But I didn’t meet any sensible parents. Then this child will not be really happy. As a parent, face your children. Children must be allowed to dare to express their needs and protect their right to speak. Don\’t think this sentence is too serious. In many of our families, children have no say. Everything is arranged by parents. If you are sensible and you do what I want, then I will let you study and give you money to spend. If you are rebellious and ignorant, then I will beat you, scold you, and restrict you. A few days ago, a kid who was in his senior year of high school left a message to me. I have always wanted to learn dance, because I have loved dancing since I was a child. When I was a child, my parents thought that the children in the community had talents, so they asked me to learn dance for a few years. Later, when I entered high school, my father kept saying that he wanted to be a teacher, so he was not allowed to continue learning dance. He also said that there is no future in learning dance. If you want to learn this, you should stop studying and go directly to work. In the end, she was sensible and gave in. The dance teacher asked herself, \”You have such a good talent, why don\’t you learn?\” \”My dad won\’t allow it!\” The teacher saidHe could only shake his head helplessly. Behind being sensible is often a deep sense of inferiority and helplessness, and one has to live in other people\’s world with trepidation. Therefore, \”being sensible is really a kind of despair.\” This is so true. This is especially true for children. Young children cannot choose their parents, let alone exist independently of their parents. I myself am a sensible child in the eyes of everyone, but I have never been happy for this kind of praise. Instead, I feel like a pair of invisible hands are holding me tightly. My childhood was missing a lot of things. After having a child, I found that my son is also a very sensible child. I saw his excellent character, but I was also worried that my discipline would be too harsh and restrain him. So I gave him rules and tried to maintain his innocence, allowing him to be willful and make mistakes. I am willing to accept him as he is and listen to his inner whispers. In Hayao Miyazaki\’s movie \”My Neighbor Totoro\”, Xiaomei\’s mother said to her father as she watched her child leave, \”Sensible children are more heartwarming.\” Yes! It hurts, it\’s worth the pain. Then we must love that sensible child.