Sharing is not always a good thing, teaching your baby this way will harm two children at the same time

During the first few days of CC\’s kindergarten, she accidentally met a little girl from the same kindergarten as her in the elevator. When I chatted with my children’s grandmother, they were in small classes and we were in nursery school. She was very excited, and so was I. Everyone knows how much it helps children to adapt to kindergarten if they have a companion. I secretly thought that I would try to go to kindergarten with them in the future. Whoever dreams of it will be shattered on the same day. The little girl brought a bag of snacks that day, which contained a few small twists. After greeting each other, grandma began to tell the little girl to give one to her sister. I immediately felt something was wrong. When we first met, the \”sharing\” thing was a bit hasty. The child looked unhappy, so naturally I understood that this was just a small talk between adults. He responded politely, “No need, you can have breakfast when you arrive at the kindergarten!” The baby wants to take it to kindergarten before eating it, right? Unexpectedly, the child\’s grandmother was very serious, and immediately started training: You kid, why don\’t you know how to share? If you don’t share, no one will want to play with you. Give one to your sister. If you don’t give it to your sister, your parents won’t buy you delicious food. The little girl flattened her mouth and cried on the spot. To be honest, I was confused at the time. I have seen children who dislike sharing and are unwilling to share, but I have never seen anyone who is so forced to share. I\’m just glad that I live on the 3rd floor, so that the crying of the child, the scolding of the grandma, and the polite rejection of my car-wheel talk can end as soon as possible. Then I hurriedly took CC out of the elevator, walked a few steps quickly, and pulled away a little. distance. Before I could finish my long breath, I heard my grandma nagging me from behind. I finally persuaded the little girl to share with coercion and inducement. Call us quickly, follow quickly, and mobilize the children to share a piece of twist with CC. Obviously, when the child arrived, he regretted it again. At this time, grandma personally took out a piece of twist and stuffed it into the little girl\’s hand, then took her hand and handed it to CC. CC looked as confused as I did the whole time. She looked at me and I motioned for her to take it, and then thanked her sister and grandma. Finally, as the grandma wished, this \”sharing\” came true. When we met again, what a coincidence, CC had a few pieces of rice cake in her hand. When the elevator started to move, she stuffed a piece into her mouth, and there was a crisp \”bang\” sound in the silent elevator. The little girl\’s grandmother heard this and looked down: Hey, did you bring food today? Give one to your sister, you have to share it, a child is a good child if he shares it. CC put her hand behind her back cautiously and said, But I only have 4 left. Grandma looked at me meaningfully. Ding dong, the elevator opens. I put on an embarrassed and confused smile, luckily I live on the third floor. Later, I deliberately staggered the time and rarely saw each other again. Last Friday I sent CC to kindergarten. As soon as I entered the elevator, I met a father leading a little girl. The father was carrying the same schoolbag as CC. I was pleasantly surprised again, huh? Another child from the same kindergarten? The little girl was holding a poster. When we came in, my father came up and said, give one to my sister, you have to share it. I looked down and saw that they were actually the same child. The upbringing of this family was really the same. Therefore, I really couldn’t help but want to write about forcing children to share. Adults all care about saving face. They eat while others watch, sit while others stand, etc.It will make us feel uncomfortable more or less. Even if you really don\’t mean to give in, you still have to be polite. At this point, the more careful a person is, the more thoughtful he will be. When it comes to children, naturally they can\’t help but continue, but children don\’t know how to be polite, and children take it seriously. When you take your children out to play, you often encounter this situation. When your own children are eating or playing something, other children in the park also have eyes shining with eagerness on their faces. They all play with children, and although they don’t have any close friendships, they are still familiar with each other. Faced with this situation, many parents will tell their children to give one to the child. No matter what you think, the other party\’s children take it seriously, especially when it comes to delicious food. The parents of the other party will usually refuse politely, but how disappointed must the child who is waiting to be shared be at this time? If he was more mature and knew how to exercise restraint, maybe no one would be embarrassed and it would just be over. He just staged an unprovoked dash of hope in his heart. What if the other person is a child? Especially children under 3 years old. If you don\’t take the initiative to give it, he will want to take it from you, not to mention that you have already said it? He was waiting eagerly, but his mother said, \”No need.\” He felt like he had been poured cold water on him. Of course, if it is successfully shared in the end and the deliciousness outweighs the disappointment, it may not have any impact. The worst outcome is that if you offer to share, your children won\’t want to share it, and other people\’s children will cry for it. How embarrassing. . . If you are riding a tiger but cannot get off, you can only force your children to share against their will, and you will not be happy in the end. Therefore, don’t make decisions for your child easily before you are sure that he is willing to take the initiative to share. You decided to be more than just a bag of snacks or a toy in his hand. What you have taken away is his right to defend what belongs to him. Even the quality of \”sharing\”, which seems to be full of friendship, is not necessarily a good thing. When is it not recommended to share? 1. Don’t talk about sharing before the age of 2. When you are more than one year old, you will think that my baby is so generous and willing to give his things to others. He is not a \”stingy\” baby at all. Usually, it\’s a little early to be happy. Because when you reach the age of 2, you will suddenly find out, damn, why is he like all the naughty children, starting to be \”selfish and stingy\”? The reason why a one-year-old child is generous is usually because he does not yet have a sense of property rights, that is, he does not yet know the concept of \”mine\”. Most children begin to enter the sensitive period of property rights around the age of 2 and are unwilling to share anything with others. Foreign education experts often say that the philosophy of a two-year-old child is \”mine, mine, everything is mine.\” It will probably take until after the age of 3 years for the baby to be willing to take the initiative to share. Before then, it should be guided rather than enforced. 2. Don’t talk about sharing with people you don’t know well. Take the family mentioned at the beginning as an example. If you only have one or a few meetings with the other person, don’t mention sharing with your children easily. Adults are very familiar with each other and feel that if they walk their children in the park a few times or live in the same building, they are no longer strangers. But sometimes children are slow to get to know each other, and even if they play well, they may not be willing to share things. If parents really want to let their babies share their ideas, they can ask their children’s opinions in advance, for example:Make preparations before meeting for the first time. Ask your baby, today we will bring two packs of biscuits, one for you and one for Lele, okay? If there is no problem with this kind of prelude sharing, slowly try to propose temporary sharing. In fact, after children become truly familiar with it, they will be willing to share it even if their parents don’t mention it. Moreover, it is easier for children to accept rejection from familiar children. 3. No matter when, if it is something that completely belongs to your baby, don’t be forced to share it. If forced to share for a long time, the baby\’s sense of property rights will be confused. Either they are too sensitive, extremely possessive, and particularly obsessed with material things. Either they are too weak and submissive, afraid to advocate for their own rights and interests, afraid to put forward their own needs, and unable to establish a true sense of trust with others.