She understands the truth, but this mother still \”stabbed\” her child

As my daughter Yaya grew up, she reached the age of entering kindergarten. Taking advantage of the beginning of school season, I also sent Yaya to kindergarten. Like other mothers, I was worried at first that my child would resist entering the kindergarten. After all, it was the first time to let go, so I was somewhat worried. In order to let the children get familiar with this sudden and unfamiliar environment, I took my daughter to watch outside the kindergarten while the kindergarten children were playing outdoor games in the morning. It happened that there was a young mother watching with us. Inadvertently, I saw this mother wiping her tears secretly. Out of curiosity, I observed her carefully. At this moment, a little boy ran over from the garden crying: \”Mom, Mom, I want to go home, I don\’t want to go to school…\” \”Mom, I\’ve been looking at you for a long time, why are you just crying?\” While asking the child, she hurriedly reached over the guardrail to wipe away the tears from the child\’s face. At this time, the child\’s teacher came over and said, \”It\’s okay, parent, he was doing very well just now! He started crying when he didn\’t see you coming. If you are worried, go to a corner where the child can\’t see you and observe.\” To be honest, the child was very emotionally affected when he saw you. Can you cooperate, mother?\” Then, the teacher led the crying child to the slide in the park, and the young mother burst into tears. It rains. Maybe it was my empathy that was at work, so I couldn\’t help but kindly persuade me: \”It\’s okay. I watched the video that the teacher sent to the group. The children had a lot of fun when our parents were not around!\” Well, once she said that she cried even harder. Then she gradually opened up the conversation. It turned out that she was a full-time mother, and she raised her son by herself. She usually took care of his food, clothing, housing and transportation herself. After her son entered kindergarten, she was afraid that he would not be able to use chopsticks in school. I don’t know how to eat, and I’m afraid that my son will wet his pants, or that his pants won’t be straightened after he goes to the toilet… Frankly speaking, after listening to this mother’s account, I really feel that she does too much for her child. Children over 3 years old have to rely on their mothers to even wash their hands, let alone dress and eat. Later, she said that since the day her child entered kindergarten, sending her son to kindergarten every day was like a life and death separation between mother and child. She made several trips back and forth to visit the child because of excessive worry. To be honest, in our daily lives, behaviors like the mother in the case are also very common. Most of them are because she is used to taking care of her children. When her children suddenly leave her, she will have all kinds of strong worries. In fact, there is no need for parents to be \”fearful\”. The child is a complete independent individual. One day, he will live and grow independently. Regarding the education of their children, the most important thing parents should do is to learn to let go appropriately. She cried and said: \”Actually, I understand all these principles, but I just can\’t do it. I just can\’t see my son cry…\” This sentence also hurt my heart. Who says it\’s not the case? Children are all born on their own. This is a masterpiece of hard work that has been carried out for ten months, and it will \”ache\” for any mother. However, if the child refuses to let go despite crying several times, how can we allow the child to develop independently in the future? Especially when children enter society in the future, how can they survive if they don’t even know the most basic survival skills?If we have to live, how can we talk about work, and how can we talk about getting married and having children in the future? There is no right or wrong in loving your children, but holding on too tightly will inevitably \”harm\” your children. For children, at the very least we need to teach them how to take care of themselves. When they reach the age where it’s time to let go, they must learn to let go and let them practice eating, dressing, etc. on their own. Now think about it, if this mother usually lets her children do more things and does less things herself, she will not make her children so dependent, and she will not worry about her children not knowing these things and others. When overly dependent children first arrive in a new environment, they cannot see the parents they usually rely on, have poor hands-on skills, and are resistant or shy to ask for help from people around them. Gradually, the gap between them and their peers gradually becomes wider and wider. If it is too big, it will make children feel inferior. Early news also reported that the \”prodigy\” Wei Yongkang was persuaded to quit by the Chinese Academy of Sciences because his mother took on too many tasks and his ability to take care of himself was poor. Therefore, for the sake of your child, you must learn to let go, instead of tying your child to your belt and acting as a \”crutch\” for him. There is a kind of love called letting go; there is a kind of growth called I can do it. Be a peripheral parent, a parent who believes in your children, and even more, a reliable parent.