Should parents give material rewards to their children?

Recently, a colleague talked to me about her troubles. Her son is very smart, but his grades are always good or bad, which gives her a headache. So, she decided to use a \”reward\” to motivate her children. One day, she called her son in front of her and solemnly promised him: \”If you can get into the top ten in the class in the final exam, mom will buy you a mobile phone.\” When the child heard this, his eyes lit up and he started talking. Work hard. In that exam, his ranking really broke into the top ten, and he went home to tell his mother the good news. The mother is very happy and feels that this method is really effective. \”Under heavy rewards, there must be brave men.\” So, she fulfilled her promise and bought a new mobile phone for her child. Seeing his beaming expression, she was secretly happy and promised her child: \”If you can continue to maintain good grades, mom will continue to buy you good things.\” The child indeed lived up to her expectations and performed well in terms of grades. She smiled happily and bought him a kindle, a small digital camera and a computer one after another… However, recently she found that this trick didn\’t seem to work. Although the child always has the latest digital products, he looks indifferent and is no longer as happy as he was at first. He became less and less interested in learning. His performance gradually declined, first falling out of the top ten, and then suddenly falling to twenty-seventh place… This situation made the mother worried. It seems that no matter how many rewards or good things, they just make him feel boring and can no longer arouse his interest. It’s true that kids love prizes. It is understandable that adults are willing to reward children. But if we want incentives to be effective, we can’t just focus on giving out prizes. Because, in the minds of children, there are other things that are more important. In psychology, there is a very famous experiment called \”Repa\’s Reward Experiment.\” A psychologist named Repa gathered a group of children who loved painting and divided them into two groups. He used different motivation methods for different groups. He promised the children in the first group: \”If you draw well, I will give you prizes.\” To the children in the second group, he said enthusiastically: \”I like your paintings and hope to appreciate your masterpieces.\” .\” After hearing this, both groups of children started drawing happily. Afterwards, as promised by Repa, the children in the first group received prizes, while the children in the second group received appreciation and praise. This went on for three days. Three days later, the children in the first group who received rewards gradually became depressed and lazy. They worked hard all day and were unwilling to continue drawing. As for the children in the second group who were highly praised, they were still happy, waving their paintbrushes and describing their works, never getting tired of it. This experiment has been tested repeatedly in different countries and different ethnic groups, and the results are the same. It has proven this point to us over and over again: if you use the method of giving out prizes to motivate children, it can indeed Strengthen children\’s emotions and make them repeat positive behaviors. However, rewards are not a panacea. In the long run, the effects of rewards will change over time.Gradually fade. In economics, there is a similar point of view called the \”law of diminishing marginal utility.\” In layman\’s terms, this law means that within a certain period of time, if a person continuously obtains a certain type of items, then as the number of items owned increases, the person will feel the pleasure he obtains. Fewer and fewer. As the German economist Gessen said: \”The same enjoyment is repeated over and over again, and the enjoyment it brings gradually decreases.\” Therefore, if we always encourage a child by giving out prizes, then, in the long run, The effect of motivation will become worse and worse, because children will always have \”aesthetic fatigue\”. No matter how good something is, it will make him tired and boring if he gets it too many times. However, this experiment also proves to us that if we want to motivate children, we should praise them and motivate them to do what they like, and the most lasting effect will be obtained. In human resource management, there is also a \”two-factor theory\” that tells a similar truth and can inspire us in educating our children. This theory tells us that there are two major types of factors that can affect employees\’ work. One type of factors, if present, can eliminate employee dissatisfaction: for example, the wages, benefits, and physical rewards that employees receive. However, these factors, although they can save employees from unhappiness, do not really lead to employee motivation. The other type of factors is called \”motivating factors\”, which refer to those factors that make employees feel happy. Only when these factors are present, employees will feel physically and mentally happy, motivated, and actively engage in work. These factors include: performance opportunities at work, the fun brought by work, a sense of accomplishment at work, expectations for the future, etc. When parents manage their children, the principles behind them are actually in line with the principles of management. If the child studies well, we will give him money and good things, and the child will naturally not be unhappy. However, he did not get real satisfaction from it, and his learning consciousness was still not stimulated. Only when we give the child an opportunity to perform, praise him, appreciate him, and make him feel that learning is a fun and self-expressive thing, so that he can gain a happy sense of accomplishment and have expectations for the future, will he be able to I truly feel that learning is something worth working for. In marine life museums, keepers generally use a more mechanical method to train dolphins: when the dolphins perform well, they are rewarded with a small fish. However, training children cannot be like training dolphins, just giving benefits simply and roughly without considering anything else. As human beings and independent individuals, although children like material rewards, they still have spiritual pursuits. Material satisfaction can only bring short-term stimulation and is difficult to sustain. However, his spiritual upliftment can last for a long time and become the driving force to encourage him to study. Therefore, if we want to make our children happy, we can certainly give them material rewards appropriately. However, in order for them to achieve long-term results in learning, material rewards need to be effectively combined with spiritual incentives.Together. A child\’s life is not all about learning, eating, drinking, having fun, and getting good things. In fact, in their young minds, their spiritual needs are beyond our imagination. When a child\’s emotional and psychological needs are met, his inner motivation will be aroused and he will work harder in learning. Every child actually has the desire for self-growth, understands that it is a good thing to strive for progress, and also has the desire to express himself. If they receive care, respect and recognition, they will be happy to show their parents through actions how positive they are. Therefore, we only need to provide good guidance and reasonable incentives. At the same time, material encouragement can also be provided, but it should not be too much or too generous. Otherwise, on the one hand, the best motivational effect will not be achieved, and on the other hand, material incentives will make children\’s appetites bigger and bigger, their demands higher and higher, and it will become increasingly difficult to satisfy them. Just like my colleague\’s child, at first, he was happy with domestically produced mobile phones, but gradually he began to demand electronic products from big foreign brands. Parents feel that it will be unaffordable if things go on like this in the long run, but promises made out loud are difficult to recover, so it creates a situation where it is difficult to get off the hook. Later, she did buy it for her child, but in the long run, this approach did not improve his performance. Material prizes are originally an incentive, but if they are used too much and become expensive, they will turn into \”transactions\” with worrisome results. Children are still young and do not know when to stop, and their demands may become \”increasing.\” Therefore, parents must be measured in their rewards, and do everything in moderation, and never go too far. I hope your child can spend a materially and spiritually rich childhood, bathed in love and praise, and move forward in learning and be proactive.