Signs that the child is starting to be \”raised to waste\”! If parents understand, their children will be saved

This is a sign that you are raising your child to be a slave. Many parents will ask, what should I do if I no longer have a sense of authority in my child\’s mind? In fact, congratulations, your child will most likely be very promising. Why do you say that? In fact, in children\’s education, there are roughly four educational models for parents\’ roles: authoritative, advisory, preaching, and coaching. 1. Authoritative parents mean that I am the authority in the family. Whatever I ask you to do, you must do it according to me, that is, you must listen to me. Authoritative parents will stifle their children\’s ego. A child raised under such an education method must be a slave. He does everything he does and does what others ask him to do. Such a child may be well-behaved and obedient at home, but when he grows up, he has no independent opinion because he has to wait for instructions from others. He will do whatever others ask him to do, and he will move as soon as he is pushed. Such children will remain \”slaves\” throughout their lives. 2. Consultative parents become consultants to their children, giving them a lot of advice and telling them what they should do and what they should not do. Children who grow up in this kind of education still have no self, because they need their parents to help them make decisions about everything. Because the parents are older and have experienced more things, there must be many things that the parents are right about, but the children have fewer opportunities to make mistakes. Without opportunities to make mistakes, children do not grow. 3. Preaching means presenting facts and making sense. He will be more patient than a consultant. Just like you tell him, children should not play so many games. Playing games will hurt the eyes. After hurting the eyes, you will wear glasses. If you wear glasses, you will not look good, and you will be very uncomfortable in the future. It’s convenient and makes a lot of sense. Children who grow up in this kind of education will look for some cause and effect, and they will develop a lot of logic. However, such children still lack self-exploration, and it is difficult for them to have a life that they have the final say on their own. The best way is coaching style. What is a coach? The word coach comes from sports. Just like an athlete in sports, he needs a coach. The coach\’s task is to awaken the child\’s talent. Coaching parents will treat the child as an athlete. Let him participate in everything and let him experience it himself. Let him awaken his talent under the encouragement and training of the coach and let him There are more outstanding performances in life. The performance of such parents is that they will give their children a lot of encouragement, be able to see their children\’s strengths, and of course they can broaden their children\’s ideological horizons and allow their children to make mistakes. In the process of making mistakes, treat every mistake as a training for the child, treat every learning as a training for the child, and the parents just stand behind and become the pillar behind the child. Only children who grow up under this kind of education will have a sound personality, and at least their life will be happy. Such a child can easily become a leader because he has experienced a lot of encouragement since he was a child and he has great confidence in himself, so such a child has a happy life. How to become a coaching parent and share with you two language skills 1. Unclear verb: take controlLeave it to the child, \”Come, take a deep breath, put your attention inside yourself, listen…see…feel…\” This is what the hypnotist often says. Instructions ask you to listen, see, and feel, but what to listen to? What to see? What does it feel like? He didn\’t explain. This was another blank hypnosis technique called \”ambiguous verb\”. The so-called ambiguous verb means that there is no clear explanation behind the verb, leaving space for the listener to imagine. Similar language is: I know you know… Be aware of what you can detect… As long as you are willing to do it… If you want to improve yourself, you need to learn… How can this kind of grammar be used in life? When we encourage our partner, we can say something like this: \”As long as you are willing to do it, you can become the perfect husband (wife).\” What should we ask the other person to do? If you leave this blank, the other party will try their best to do something to make themselves more perfect. When we encourage our children, we can say this: \”As long as you work hard, you will get better and better.\” What are you trying to do? If you leave it blank as usual, the child will work hard in all aspects. In the blank space, the child has the right to speak and control his own life, and he will become more powerful. 2. Additional question: Make your instructions gentle. Let\’s imagine a scenario: the child comes home from school and has been playing for a long time and has not done his homework yet. Teachers in the parent group are urging parents to supervise their children to do their homework, saying that there is a lot of homework today and it must be completed that day. At this time, what will you do? The first way is to go over to the child with a black face and scold him, and then say forcefully: \”Hurry up and do your homework. If you don\’t finish the homework, you are not allowed to play!\” The second way is to be gentle and talk to the child. He said to the child: \”Baby, how about finishing your homework first so that you can play easily?\” What will be the result of the two approaches? We need to know that when a person is forced by others, he will naturally resist psychologically. The same thing will have a very different effect between doing it voluntarily and being forced to do it. The first method is that under the strong supervision of parents, the children may be obedient, but when you leave, they are likely to be lazy again. Even if they are not lazy, they will cultivate a submissive child. The second method is to add an additional question after the instruction, so that the child will feel that he has the right to choose when accepting the instruction, so that he can act proactively and proactively. The ancient Chinese standards for a gentleman include the \”Three Harmonies\”: \”soft words, gentle body, and peaceful mind.\” The first word \”soft words\” means that the words should be gentle and soft as jade, and while expressing thoughts, they should also be gentle. Make the other person happy and make him willing to accept it. So, how can you achieve soft-spoken speech? In communication, when we directly give the other party an instruction, it will cause resistance. At this time, if we add a question to the instruction language, the other party can easily accept it. For example: You can definitely finish your homework on time, right? You can do your job better, right? A person who is willing to learn will have good luck, right? Have you learned it? The last thing I want to say is that if you are going to be an authoritative parent, you are likely to raise a minion. studyLearn some psychological methods, lower your position and become the pillar behind your child, and your child will become a hero.