Since treating her baby as \”other people\’s child\”, the old mother\’s mental internal disorder has completely improved.

At the beginning of the month, several mothers and I took advantage of our free time during the holidays to finally have a party that we had planned for the winter vacation. It\’s okay if we don\’t get together, but we will get angry and jump a lot when we get together. For the same mother, the summer vacation is not the same: the baby is sent back to her hometown, and the old mother spends the summer vacation as a \”longing for life\”; there are people to help take care of the baby, although there are some crazy things, but at most they only come after get off work. A \”Gold Medal Mediation\”; only those who had no one to help take care of their children spent their summer vacation in \”Martial Arts Style\”, \”Survival in the Wilderness\”, \”Extreme Challenge\”, \”Family Defense\”, \”Sister Riding the Wind and Waves\”… While everyone was complaining, one mother remained calm and composed. It seems that she has gone through a summer vacation without a single wrinkle, not a single gray hair, and her voice is still a little sweet. We all knew that she had no one to help take care of the baby, so we couldn\’t help but be curious and gathered around her to learn from her. She just said: \”Nothing else, just treat the baby as someone else\’s child.\” After hearing what she said, everyone was stunned for a long time. After all, this is an advanced mental method and must be digested well. As everyone gradually came to their senses, each one showed a look of realization, and I pretended to respond a few times. After returning home, with the intention of giving it a try, I decided to practice her mental method. Mmm, it smells so good! After treating the baby as someone else\’s child, I kept my mouth shut and stopped my legs. When I went out, the old mother\’s posture was so elegant. When I came home, the old mother\’s head would be so explosive. After the party, when I entered the house, sure enough, it was all over the place again. \”Mom, Dad doesn\’t let me play with toys.\” \”Mom, Dad erased my painting.\” \”Mom, Dad won\’t accompany me to play Princess Elsa…\” I had not yet stepped into the slippers, and I just thought I transformed into Bao Gong to interrogate the baby\’s father, but I turned around and saw: the kitchen floor was sprinkled with flour; my desk was wiped, but I could still vaguely see the paintings; from the door to the toilet , the scarves of various colors lined up along the way, no, it is \”Princess Elsa\’s cloak\”. I was so angry that I was about to explode. But then I thought: No! This is not my baby, this is someone else’s child. How can I get angry? Since he is someone else\’s child, he cannot be beaten or scolded, he must be coaxed and managed. I have to be a kind old aunt. Take a moment to retract the foot that you just stretched out; let the breath of luck come down for a while; hold back the sound of your voice that just got better. \”Baby, do you want to make something delicious with the flour? We can do whatever you want to do together.\” Kewa didn\’t give any face at all: \”Why are you so stupid? The flour is snow.\” The old mother doubted her own family. Her daughter\’s IQ forced herself to smile: \”Ah, so creative. But flour is food, and food cannot be wasted. We can use other things to replace it next time.\” \”Also, mom saw what you drew on the desk. It’s beautiful. You want to give your mother a surprise, right? \”But the drawings are easy to rub off on the table. You can draw them on paper next time so that your mother can keep these surprises.\” \”Did you bring out the scarf because you wanted to play Princess Elsa? The color you picked is really nice. But Princess Elsa likes to be clean. Let\’s put these cloaks on the mat first, okay?\” The baby was surprised that he didn\’t get scolded, and behaved so well. She was very excited, but the father of the baby next to her was frightened. However, the old mother alsoI don’t want to explain, this is just the beginning. After treating the baby as someone else\’s child, I transformed into a boaster. Although the baby\’s father was quite frightened last time, the naughty child was extremely happy. In the past, she did things secretly and cautiously. Now she felt comfortable making mistakes. For example, if there was food that she couldn\’t finish eating or things she didn\’t want to eat, she would secretly find a corner and hide them, waiting for them to sprout slowly and observe the miracle of life. Now, she will \”unscrupulously\” drag me to visit her food treasures: \”Mom, look, I hid them all. I told you only after you promised not to be angry.\” I have to say, Seeing those expired foods that were glowing green and covered with fluff, squeezed in between the winter quilts and smiling at me, the old mother almost let out a sigh. However, this is someone else\’s child, how can he get angry? Gotta boast! What should I do if I can’t boast? Bragging! \”Thank you, baby, for trusting your mother so much and sharing your secret with her.\” \”I found that you are really an honest child. Although you did something wrong, you still took the initiative to admit it. Mom wants to praise you.\” \”You didn\’t put the food away. Throw it away, that\’s good too.\” After hearing what I said, the baby let go completely: \”Yes, Mom, I didn\’t tell you just because I was afraid of you scolding me.\” Listen, this is all. Mine is no longer… I was thinking about whether this method was right, and I heard the baby\’s confession in the next sentence: \”Mom, actually I know what I did was wrong. Then next time if I can\’t eat or don\’t like to eat, I will tell you You won\’t hide it anymore. Then mom, will you still stop scolding me like you did today?\” The old mother said quickly after hearing a glimmer of hope. It seems that this idea of ​​treating the child as someone else\’s child is not bad. Since treating her as someone else\’s child, the old mother\’s mentality has changed, and her way of solving problems has also changed. I actually had the unexpected benefit of having a child reveal his true feelings to me. Well, keep at it. After mistaking the baby for someone else\’s child, I discovered that the child was covered with a halo. After using this mental method for a week, something magical happened: As my perspective on the problem changed, so did my evaluation of the baby. When I suppressed my desire to criticize and started to praise, I found that my daughter had more and more advantages. I used to think that she liked to talk back, but now I find that she has a strong debating ability; I used to think that she was naughty, but now I find that she has great hands-on skills; I used to think that she was always mischievous, but now I find that her thinking ability is very good… It is said that in psychology, there is The term is called \”labeling effect\”. To put it simply, you give your child whatever label you want him to be. For example, my daughter used to put books anywhere after reading them. Ever since I changed my strategy and praised her loudly when she occasionally put the books back in place, my \”embarrassed\” daughter has become more and more tidy. Not only will she put the books she has finished neatly, but she will also help put the books I have finished into their places. Moreover, it’s okay if you don’t praise, the more you praise, the more addictive you become. The daughter who was praised so much that she forgot about her daughter became better and better. The old mother who was praised so much that her baby was so praised also felt that her daughter was getting better and better. Sometimes I get confused: My kid, no, this “other people’s child” actually has a person behind him.What an excellent mother, how did she raise such an excellent child? It seems that I have to ask her for advice some other time. However, although the mentality of \”treating the baby as someone else\’s child\” is good, it sometimes gets out of control. But how can this difficulty stump an old mother who has experienced many battles? Whenever I want to lose control, I will stand still – lower my hands – lower my head – exhale – silently say: \”This is not my baby, this is not my baby, this is not my baby. This is someone else\’s child, this is This is someone else’s child, this is someone else’s child.” Then, he felt relieved instantly, and no matter how angry he was, he could turn into a smile with eight teeth. After getting along happily with my daughter for a period of time, she became more and more lovely in my eyes, and I became more and more loving in her eyes. And the benefits don’t end there. The baby\’s father was worried about something going wrong with me from the beginning and lived every day with caution. In order to maintain the current beautiful family atmosphere, she began to take the initiative to take care of the children, cook, and do housework, etc. A series of things that can easily arouse the anger of the old mother. As for me, living in the warmth of a loving family every day, I no longer feel like a bomb all the time, and I feel cold every day. The family is harmonious, the wives follow their husbands, the mothers are loving and the children are filial, and the illnesses that were caused by anger are slowly getting better. After treating my baby as someone else\’s child, I can step out from the perspective of a parent and raise my child as a bystander. My mentality is stable and I am no longer anxious. I have begun to put myself in others’ shoes and respect my children; I am willing to be patient and appreciate my children; I am willing to squat down and understand my children. Think of raising children as walking with a snail, a human practice of waiting for the flowers to bloom. Everything is getting better and better.