Six words to repair children’s inner trauma, which will last a lifetime

Each of us has a childhood, and everyone\’s childhood will be hurt to a greater or lesser extent. Perhaps we are now parents, and in the process of raising our children, we still hurt our children intentionally or unintentionally. We all know that psychological trauma in childhood will accompany a person throughout his life and have an impact on all aspects of a person\’s life. So, how to heal children’s inner wounds? How do you heal your childhood hurts? Popular Science Knowledge How To Grow A Planet BBC Plant Song Documentary Full 3 Episodes 1080P Ultra HD 18.6G The following six sentences are exactly the corrective treatment for the \”inner child\”. Through the healing language of the inner child, the inner child can be repaired. trauma. I\’m sorry and \”I\’m sorry\” are words that many children look forward to hearing from their parents. Every child doesn’t want to be blamed, especially when their parents misunderstand them. Behind the \”I\’m sorry\” words that children long for from their parents, they just want to gain their parents\’ understanding and prove that they are worthy of being loved. However, when this \”I\’m sorry\” is hidden by parents, the child\’s inner pain also accumulates little by little along with anger, sadness, grievance and other emotions. When parents realize that their words and deeds have misunderstood their children, they should apologize promptly. Apologizing can not only eliminate misunderstandings in time, but also establish the image of parents who have the courage to take responsibility and lead by example, which will undoubtedly have a positive impact on children. When misunderstood by their parents, no matter what the misunderstanding is, what every child longs for is nothing more than a sincere apology from their parents to fill the gap deep in their hearts. Although \”I\’m sorry\” only has three words, the message it conveys is: You are not that bad. I misunderstood you and even hurt you. I did something wrong. I admit my mistakes and sincerely apologize to you. Every parent was once a child. When we look back on our childhood, we were misunderstood by our parents. When we ourselves were misunderstood, did we also long for our parents to apologize to us? \”What we don\’t get is always in turmoil.\” Sometimes the repair of deep inner wounds is just a matter of time. You need to say: \”I\’m sorry.\” It\’s not your fault. There are many reasons why children are hurt internally, which may come from the outside or from the inside. When children are injured, they are often accompanied by negative emotions such as fear, sadness, and self-blame. They often point the finger at themselves and think that they are bad. As a result, parents will not love themselves, hate and deny themselves. Trauma psychology believes that the most effective way to deal with trauma is to make the injured feel safe, establish positive experiences, temporarily stay away from negative experiences, and make them feel safe and supported. Therefore, when an injured child blames himself, parents should directly tell the child \”This is not your fault.\” Maybe some parents think that the child\’s injury is indeed due to some of his own problems. If you tell him that it is not his fault, wouldn\’t it encourage him to shirk responsibility? Therefore, many parents may use this time to preach, trying to let their children learn from the experience. Little did they know that what they did at this time was like adding fuel to the fire and making matters worse. Just imagine, when you are experiencing strong negative emotions and someone is still blaming or preaching in your ears, how do you feel?What is feeling? The message directly conveyed by \”It\’s not your fault\” is: I don\’t mean to accuse you, and I will not deny you as a person because of this matter. I still love you. And, on this basis, saying some encouraging words to the children will have better results. When parents\’ accusations and reprimands are transformed into tolerance and understanding, the children\’s injuries are quickly healed. The feelings between parents and children, and between children and others, will flow naturally. This kind of thing will never happen again. When parents realize that their words and deeds have caused great harm to their children, they should tell their children firmly and decisively as soon as possible that \”this kind of thing will not happen again.\” When many clients lament their upbringing experiences in the consulting room, they often mention how their parents hurt their hearts over and over again. The parents themselves have never realized it, or they have realized it but have no reaction or expression, or even prevaricated, denied, or made excuses. For example, one client\’s child reported that her mother once opened her letters and insulted her for doing so. But the mother denied it and said it was not the case. The child\’s face turned red and tears fell down. For children, although they are not on an equal footing with their parents in terms of seniority, they often have a balance in their hearts, with themselves on one end and their parents on the other. Children long to communicate with their parents equally and sincerely. When the balance is normal, parents seem to win and defeat their children, but the children\’s hearts have long been closed to their parents. If saying \”I\’m sorry\” is a reassurance, then \”This will never happen again\” is a reassurance. When a child is injured, \”It won\’t happen again\” carries a heavy weight. One is to repair the trauma of reality, and the other is to give children hope. This is a true statement that requires the parents’ own reflection, responsibility and courage. If parents keep repeating reassurances but still repeat their old tricks, the children\’s trust will also decline along with the parents\’ breach of trust. \”I love you\” – this is a sentence that many children dream of being uttered by their parents, and a sentence that many parents want to express but bury deep in their hearts. When children are hurt, especially when they feel that they have made a mistake, caused trouble, become terrible, and unforgivable, they are often immersed in worry, fear, and fear, and feel that their parents will no longer love them. I once read a story: An Italian couple gave birth to a boy after many years of marriage. The couple is loving and the children are adorable. When the child was two years old, one day when the husband went out, he saw a bottle of medicine with the lid opened on the table. He loudly reminded his wife to remember to put the medicine bottle away, and then hurried to work. The wife was so busy in the kitchen that she forgot her husband\’s instructions. The boy picked up the medicine bottle, was attracted by the color of the medicine, and drank it all in one breath. Due to the high dosage of the ingredients in the medicine, although the child was rushed to the hospital in time, there was no way he could be saved. The wife was stunned by the sudden accident! She didn\’t know how to face her husband and fell into great fear. When the husband rushed to the hospital as soon as he received the news, facing the child\’s body, although he was very sad, he hugged his wife and whispered something in her ear.The words \”I love you\”. This story is so touching and shocking. A husband\’s love for his wife shows us what unconditional love is. In the face of huge pain, the words \”I love you\” are full of warm healing, simple and direct, and reach the heart. When a child is injured, it must be when he is at his weakest. Please use love to give him the best treatment. Psychologist L. Rogers said: Love is deep understanding and acceptance. The message conveyed by these three simple words \”I love you\” is: I understand your discomfort and pain at this moment, and I am willing to accept you like this. No matter what you do or what you become, you will always be My dearest child. Every child deserves unconditional love. No matter what he has done, he deserves to be loved. Even if there are thousands of words, they can\’t be worth the words of \”I love you\”. I\’m proud of you. In the psychological consultation room, when countless visitors mention their growing experiences, they always cry because their efforts and achievements have not been recognized by their parents. How many children work hard all their lives just to get recognition from their parents. Injured children, when their hearts are fragile, need timely affirmation from their parents. If a child never gets the recognition and encouragement from his parents, in addition to struggling to prove himself, he may also go to extremes, give up on himself, or break the pot. When facing an injured child, the message conveyed by the words \”I\’m proud of you\” is: I see your hard work and dedication, your achievements and progress, you are great! \”Affirmation\” based on \”seeing\” is the attitude that parents need to pass on to their children. But most parents will show blame, impatience, and disappointment when their children fail to meet their expectations. Although to a certain extent this attitude may encourage some children to strive for success, it often conveys a signal of \”I love you only if you are excellent.\” The subtext is \”If you are not good enough, I won\’t love you.\” For children, growing up in conditional love, they often feel hurt and question whether the parents love them. \”I\’m proud of you\” is a kind of value encouragement that makes the child feel that he is excellent, loved, and worthy of love. In the future, he will grow into a person full of confidence and love. I will never leave you. When a child is injured, there is often strong fear and anxiety, worrying that the parent will abandon him or her and regress to the state of a baby. Children\’s fear of being abandoned by their parents traces back to their initial attachment to their caregivers. Generally, children will establish an attachment relationship with their mother (or original caregiver) when they are 6 months old. When the mother disappears from sight, the child will cry and feel abandoned. If the attachment relationship between mother and baby is not handled well in the initial stage, a kind of trauma will be left in the child\’s heart. When the traumatic event occurs again in the future, the child will re-experience the traumatic scene when he was abandoned by his mother, which is heartbreaking. Therefore, when a child is deeply traumatized, the child\’s mental state is no different from that of a baby. As a parent, you should let your child experience a sense of being cared for by perfect love.Sleep. \”I will never leave you\” can bring children into a warm and comfortable scene where mother and baby are integrated, allowing children to repair the trauma rooted in early childhood in a positive experience. \”I will never leave you\” conveys more of a spiritual companionship and care. Even if I leave you in reality, my love for you will be internalized into a force that will accompany you, warm you, and nourish you in your heart. Inside everyone, there is an \”inner child\”. Everyone\’s \”inner child\” has been hurt to a greater or lesser extent and needs to be healed and nourished. If you are a parent, you can say the above six sentences more to your children to heal the children\’s trauma and allow the love between parents and children to flow smoothly again; you can also say them to your partners and yourself to heal your own inner self. Children, wrap yourself up with love and understanding, heal yourself, and have a happier life.