Smoking, alcoholic, domestic violence mother! I thought I would never forgive my father until…

Buddha said that a daughter was her father\’s lover in her previous life. I believed this sentence very much when I was a child. I was born in a wealthy family, and I had no worries about food and clothing. I had no worries about food and clothing. When I was 15 years old, my father\’s business failed, and I went from living a wealthy life to being broke now. To the point of pennies. I was reluctant to live such a life at first. Every time I came home from school, I would see the ashtray on the coffee table full of cigarette butts. I knew that my father must be thinking of ways to deal with business matters again. But I never cared about how tired my father was and how busy he was. I just knew that it would be nice if he had money to spend on me, so I still reached out to my mother for money as before. Once, twice, three times, until my mother could no longer give me money. One day when I couldn\’t get the money, I made a big fuss at home, forcing my mother to take out some more money from her pocket. However, starting from that night, my father would drink too much. After drinking too much, he would start cursing people and scolding the whole family. When it gets serious, he\’ll beat me up. From then on, I hated my father. Later, my father used the remaining money to open a fruit shop on the street. I thought that our family would be as good as before from now on, but this is not the case. The fruit shop had just opened, and business was not very good, so it didn\’t make much money. Then my father started drinking again. That night was the scariest night of my life. Because my father drank a lot of wine, my mother went to persuade him, \”Drink less.\” My father was unhappy. He pulled my mother\’s hair from the kitchen to the living room and beat her hard. I went up to pull my father\’s hand away. La, but was left aside by my father. I was extremely scared. I could only find people outside and ask them to help me pull my father away. I happened to pass by an uncle, and I took that uncle to my house, and he helped me pull away from my father. My mother, who was pulled away, was lying on the ground crying. Looking at the circles of hair on the ground, I cried. My mother had always been in poor health. She was beaten by her father and couldn\’t get up for a long time. My father smashed all the pots and pans in the house. Since then, I have accepted the fact that our family\’s business has closed down, and I no longer dare to ask for pocket money from my family. I was 16 years old that year, and it was the scariest night of my life, which also led to my relationship with my father getting further and further apart. After that, the fruit shop stopped opening, and my father went to other places to do business. I have been away for five years. I have not seen my father much in these five years. In these five years, I only saw my father during the Spring Festival. When I saw my father, I didn\’t even open my mouth to call him, and I ignored him. My father didn\’t say anything when he saw me like this. I just ate and did my own thing, we were just like strangers. Later, my mother asked me to transfer to another place to study, and I found out that our family was engaged in the business of selling coal in another place, and a pound of coal only cost 50 cents. If a customer calls to buy charcoal, we have to pack the coal in sacks and deliver it to their home. A bag of coal weighed 150 kilograms. I saw my father carrying the coal on his shoulders and delivering it to someone else\’s open space. It takes more than twenty trips back and forth. And when I saw my father carrying coal on his shoulders, I burst into tears. I never knew that my father wasI have been doing this for the past few years. After returning home, I heard my mother say that my father once fell to the ground while carrying coal. My mother said with tears falling on the back of my hands. My mother told me, your father It was very hard for him. What happened many years ago has passed, so don’t think about it anymore. I felt very uncomfortable at that moment. I didn\’t cry in front of my mother, I held it back. I didn\’t say a word, and I didn\’t dare to cry until I got back to the room. The next day I saw my father, and I noticed that his hands were all black from handling coal, and some of his fingers had traces of being hit by coal. Even so, I still didn\’t call him. It\’s been five years since I called him, and I couldn\’t call him out. Although I forgive my father in my heart, I still can\’t call him father. Some people say that a father is like a mountain that carries everyone in the family. I looked at my father carefully. The white hair on my father\’s head had appeared, and the wrinkles on his face had also appeared. Seeing my father\’s appearance, I hesitated whether I should let go of my worries and call him, but when I was about to call him, my father had already walked out of the door. At that moment, I looked at his bent back, and my tears filled with tears again. My father started the tricycle, and the sound of the tricycle filled my ears. I ran to the door, and my father had already driven away on the tricycle. I called him loudly, \”Dad.\” But the sound of the tricycle engine was too loud, and he didn\’t hear it. I looked at the back, getting farther and farther away from me, until I couldn\’t see it, and then I turned around and went home. In the evening, after my father came back, I looked at my father carefully again. I know that my father always wore a suit, tie, and leather shoes, and went to work in a glamorous manner. And now my father is wearing a shirt from a long time ago. There are centipede-like marks on it. They were torn when his father moved coal, and the mother repaired them again and again with needle and thread. I saw my father walking to the bathroom, and my mother followed him in with medicinal liquor. I thought that my father’s shoulders must be bruised and swollen. Just thinking about this made my eyes full of tears. After more than ten minutes, my mother came out with medicinal wine. When I saw my mother\’s eyes were red, I finally couldn\’t help it anymore and cried loudly. My father heard the sound and ran out. Seeing me like this, he didn\’t dare to ask me, so he had to ask my mother what was wrong with me. My mother sobbed and said, \”That\’s because I saw your hard work.\” At that time, I cried even harder. My father didn\’t say anything, but silently took a towel from the bathroom and wiped my face. After wiping my father, he turned to leave. I hugged him unconsciously and said, \”Dad, let\’s go back to our hometown. Don\’t do this anymore. Let\’s go back.\” However, my father didn\’t say anything and just patted the back of my hand. Unable to control my emotions, I hugged my father and cried for a few minutes. At that moment, I realized how important my father was to me. After that incident, after going around and around for so many years, I finally understood my father. Over the years, he has swallowed all the tears in his stomach, but he has never made us worry at all. I know that my father has been holding on. But over the years, I have ignored my father. I was really wrong. Father, I love you, I really love you very much.