Son, can I go to the bathroom with dignity?

On Sunday morning, his father finally woke up after his son, who was less than two years old, was hit continuously with a series of invincible palms. \”Dad, sing \”Windmill\”\” The son, who was still lying in bed, sent an invitation to sing to his sleepy father. \”The big windmill is squeaking and spinning, spinning and spinning, oh, it\’s broken, and it won\’t spin anymore.\” The boy\’s father sang with his eyes closed. He didn\’t know what was wrong with him, maybe he just wanted to be lazy, but the song was full of laughter. The windmill broke. The son was very dissatisfied and turned away and ignored him. \”You go and cook, I\’ll play with my son for a while.\” I threw out the cooking pot at the right time. \”Oh, oh, no, you should go ahead. I will sing with my son.\” When the child\’s father heard the word \”cooking\”, he immediately poured a basin of cold water over his head and became sober. He waved his hand and pulled his son towards him, \”Come here, daddy, can you sing \”Little Dragon Man\” to you?\” \”No, no singing \”Little Dragon Man\”, mom, mom sings \”Labor is the Most Glorious\”.\” The son still said I was angry with my father because the windmill just broke down. \”Dad can also sing \”Labor is the Most Glorious\”. He can also imitate meowing and barking like a dog. You play with me and I will learn to listen to you, okay?\” He doesn\’t want to cook, but his father\’s IQ is so low. With the rapid growth, the desire to survive can be said to be very strong. Seeing my son slowly moving towards his father, I didn’t want to struggle with him anymore, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to have breakfast at noon? Before getting up, I said to the child\’s father, \”You can change his pajamas and wash him in a while. He will be hungry in the morning and can\’t wait.\” \”No problem.\” When the child\’s father saw me getting up, he immediately relaxed and lay down. Give me. After a while, I finished making the custard. When Qianli Er heard it, why was there no movement outside? So, I went to the bedroom and saw that my son was lying there with no clothes on and was bored. His father was looking at his phone and smiling like a flower. He was so angry that he said, \”Hurry up and get the child dressed and wash his face. We will have dinner later!\” \”Oh, okay, okay, have you prepared the meal?\” The father quickly put down his cell phone and smiled. \”The custard is in the pot, just waiting for you to dress and wash your son!\” \”I suddenly couldn\’t hold it in any longer.\” The child\’s father got up as fast as lightning, and before I could react, Rushed into the toilet. Of course, he didn\’t forget to bring his cell phone. More than ten minutes passed… I put on my son\’s clothes, washed his face, stewed the custard, and even tidied up the quilt. The father limped out of the toilet, \”Hey , can we eat now? My legs are numb, hehe.\” \”No, I can\’t hold it in anymore. Take out the custard and pour the child\’s into the bowl where he eats.\” I\’m serious, No joking at all. The child\’s father was stunned for a moment, then nodded. I rushed to the toilet at the speed of light, but of course, I didn’t have time to take my phone with me. Just 30 seconds after entering the toilet, my son arrived at the battlefield! \”Mom, give me a hug.\” Your son is smiling, his eyes turning into little crescents, making you unable to refuse. \”No, mom is pooping and can\’t hug you. Can I hug you later when we go out? Also, didn\’t mom tell you? Boys shouldn\’t follow girls when they are in the toilet.\” I pretended. Tsukuru looked serious and threw out two strategies to get him to leave. However, the son stood there indifferently. Oh, No! 5 secondsAfter that, I watched my son move the small bench over and sit opposite me. What? Are you still going to talk to me about ten dollars? No, I couldn\’t stand it when I saw him staring at me… \”What about, son, where is your Thomas the Tank Engine? Find it quickly, where is it? If you find it, can you show it to your mother?\” If two strategies fail, another one will come up. How can you, a thousand-year-old little demon, defeat a great monk like me? ! mock up! \”Okay, in the study room.\” This trick worked as expected. My son got up from the bench and ran out to look for the train. I was so scared that I hurriedly hid the bench. Where to hide? Well, you can\’t step on it! Taking advantage of this gap, I sent an attack bomb to my husband, \”What are you doing! Look at your son! Can you let me go to the toilet?\”… I\’m sorry, your husband has been offline… No reply at all… It was my son who came over with Thomas in his hand! \”Mom, Thomas the Tank Engine!\” My son held up the train but stared at the small bench that I stepped on. \”Ah, that\’s great. Go show it to your dad and let him play with it for you so it can run.\” I looked embarrassed and forcibly recommended it to his dad. \”Mom, I can run.\” As I said that, my son played with the train next to me in the toilet… Who can understand my despair… I didn\’t want to pay attention to him… He played with the train for a while, and then put the washing machine Open the door and keep looking inside? What, son, did your dad drop the washing machine? ! After watching for a while, he saw that I was standing on the toilet. My son walked towards me with a smile. Then, he grabbed my hands and stepped on the small bench… My mother and I stepped on the small bench with four feet. At that time, My heart was completely broken… I wanted to cry without tears… Little ancestor, your mother just wants to eliminate waste from the body! Why do you have so many tricks? At this time, I finally understood that men often get hemorrhoids because they sit in the toilet and play with their mobile phones, while women often get hemorrhoids because they have to take care of their children while sitting in the toilet… When I feel that I have no love left. , the son heard his father’s shouting outside and wanted to go out and take a look. As a result, he got anxious and sat on the ground… I, a delicate girl, forced myself to stand up and helped him up. He ran out to find his dad. Oops, he can finally go to the toilet safely… Oh, no, I can\’t think of it! I quickly tightened my tail and struggled up, locking the lock from the inside… Haha, I suppressed the laughter in my heart, and I was finally \”free\”! As a result, the \”click\” was probably too loud when locking, and my son ran back quickly… He couldn\’t open the door outside! He banged the door hard and cried loudly, \”Mom, mom, open the door! Mom, mom, open the door!\” Ahhhhh! Mom, Mom, please open the door, I know you are at home, Mom, Mom, please speak, don’t you want me? Mom, please open the door, open the door, open the door… At that moment, there was no intention at all. I got up listlessly, opened the door, and gave my son a bear hug. And his father put the egg custard with sesame oil and vinegar on the table, with a 180% smile on his face and said to me, \”Daughter-in-law, look, I also chopped green onions and coriander, and put them in. Shopee, how do you like it? Smell this egg custard,Does it smell good? \”I\’m sorry, I can\’t eat anything at this moment… Think about the two years since I gave birth to my child, and I have shed tears of grievance! I just want to go to the toilet, why is it so difficult? Sometimes I also wonder… Maybe it\’s because the child thinks the toilet is so fun? For example, he will pile up various basins for washing face, feet and clothes, then pat them apart one by one and put them together. He can play with those basins for a long time… He will Pulling and closing the lid of the washing machine, I don\’t get tired of doing this a hundred times… The rotating button of the washing machine rotates and jumps and twists two hundred times and it\’s still fun… But why doesn\’t he play with the pot and turn on the washing machine when I don\’t go to the toilet? What about twisting the button? You haven\’t shown such unprecedented enthusiasm for the toilet? Is it just to accompany me? Oh, no, not only to accompany me, but also to tear up the toilet paper for me in advance and enthusiastically wipe it for me… I sit On the toilet, I couldn\’t pick it up, and I couldn\’t say anything. Looking at his sincere little face and enthusiastic hands, it was really stressful! After having a baby, when I got to the car in front of the house, or at night after the baby went to bed, and the pit squatting at the feet, are collectively known as the three free moments of solitude for adults. \”When you close the door, you own a world and are the emperor of this world; when you open the door, you will return to the real world.\” world. \”Uncle Gray Pigeon said… Haha, I just want to say that when you close the door and want to be the emperor of this world, you didn\’t expect a voice to cry and shout, \”Come out quickly and strive for leniency. We \”The policy is to surrender the gun and not kill\”…Emperor? Blah! Freedom? Blah! I don\’t even have this kind of self-esteem! Oh my God, when will I be able to sit quietly on the toilet for a while? In the group of girlfriends I asked, \”How do you take your baby to the bathroom?\” \”Immediately, I felt as if I had set a bomb in the group, and it exploded! \”Only in the toilet, I felt that my soul was back… But when the baby cried, my soul flew away immediately! What else can you say! Forced termination, get out immediately! ! \”I was sitting on the toilet with my baby in my arms, and when I got up, I was holding one hand on the wall!\” \”Opposite the toilet is a washing machine. I\’m anxious to put the child in the washing machine!\” \”She sang and danced for me, let me tell her stories, and even let me tie her pigtails!\” ! ! I even think I stink, okay? \”Haha, it turns out that you are all like this, I am not fighting alone! I feel much more comfortable! Finally, after the father devoured the child, the son winked, and hit me with a hammer and a stick, I wanted to eat something to comfort myself. When I was eating, my son, who had a mouthful of custard, said, “Mom, I want to poop. \”Does it have to be now?\” Wait a minute, can I finish these few bites? \”While I was talking, I glanced at the child\’s father. Sure enough, he pretended not to hear. \”Shit, hurry up. \”My son banged the bowls and chopsticks and said, \”Husband, my son wants to poop. \”At this moment, although I was angry and resentful, I still suppressed it and prepared to blame the pig teammate. Fortunately, the pig teammate listened and prepared to get up and go to the toilet with my son. At this time, my son waved his hand. , “Don’t go with dad, go with mom. After saying that, he looked at me very proudly and said, \”How are you, Mom?\” I love you the most,\”Just with you, not with dad\”… The child\’s dad fainted in front of the table with laughter… Yes, son, mom is so honored! Come on, let\’s go to the toilet… So what, thank you, son, thank you You love me so much. Mmm~