Son, give you five minutes

When I\’m with my children, I always adhere to the creed of \”lead the snail for a walk\” and do everything slowly. But taking your time does not mean blindly accommodating your child\’s wishes and allowing him to procrastinate and dawdle. Children are still young and have no sense of time, let alone time management. Almost all children in the world follow the same routine. When they are having fun, when faced with urging, they seem to have a unified voice: \”I don\’t want to go home, I still want to play!\” If you are anxious to go back to cook, ask him: \” If you don\’t go home and cook, what will you eat when you get hungry later?\” However, he is not hungry now and can\’t imagine what it would be like to \”get hungry later.\” If he is really hungry later, he can just ask his mother for food. Well, anyway, it’s Mom’s fault that she can’t bring out food, not his, so just yell “I’m so hungry”. Therefore, in the face of this situation, no matter whether the adults compromise, \”leave immediately\” or \”play for a while\”, the ending is not very happy. When Baoduo has this kind of dilly-dallying, I get very upset. Often, either I get extremely irritable or he bursts into tears. Later I found that the \”give you five minutes\” method works best. Although, sometimes he would haggle and after five minutes ask for five more minutes. However, the rules come first and the things that have been agreed upon in advance, even if he cheats, he is not that confident. At most, he will pout his lips and rarely cry or make a fuss. Generally speaking, the process may be bumpy, but the ending is ultimately harmonious. I regard this method as a \”magic weapon\” and recommend it to mothers with the same problem everywhere. However, after a friend tried it, he reported that this method was not that effective. I didn\’t pay much attention to it at the time. I thought there might be individual differences between children. It\’s impossible for every child to apply the same pattern regardless of time, occasion and age. Later, one time, this friend and I took our children to play in an amusement park. When we were going home, I realized that it wasn\’t that \”Five Minutes for You\” didn\’t apply to her children, but that she used it inappropriately. At that time, when the child was playing in full swing, her husband called and told her that there was an emergency at home and asked the two of them to go back quickly. Of course the child was unwilling, and kept saying: \”I don\’t want to leave, I don\’t want to leave, I want to play for a while longer.\” \”Let\’s go, dad has urged me several times, and grandma said that all the delicious food is almost gone.\” The child kept saying Shaking his head, \”I want to play for a while longer.\” Because my family was really anxious and my friends were very anxious. But as for the child, he tried every means to persuade him, but all the urgings didn\’t work. In the end, his friend almost got angry and yelled, \”Are you leaving or not?\” The child looked at his mother timidly, but was very unwilling to do so and said, \” I just played for a while and Baoduo didn\’t leave.\” I felt that my friend\’s anger would explode in the next second, so I quickly said to the child: \”That\’s because Baoduo\’s father didn\’t urge him to go home, but your father Waiting for you, because there is indeed an emergency at home. Auntie knows that you are not satisfied with playing, so you can come back next time. Just play for five minutes today, and then go home with your mother, okay? This is what good babies do. \”The child listened to my words and looked at his mother. The friend said: \”Then play for five more minutes. You must go home when the five minutes are up.\” The child nodded quickly. However, thenThe scene that came down was a bit ridiculous. My friend stood in front of the child and read: \”Five-four-three-\” I whispered: \”What are you talking about for five minutes? It\’s only five seconds.\” \”I was so anxious that I really waited for him to wait five seconds.\” Minutes!\” said my friend with a frown. \”Aren\’t you afraid that if you confuse minutes and seconds, he will refute you when he has knowledge of time?\” This is obviously an act of fooling children. The friend was stunned for a moment and said, \”I didn\’t think much about it.\” If you promise to give the child five minutes, you really give him five minutes. Five seconds, how can the child have fun? Not only should you really give him five minutes, but also don\’t interfere with him during these five minutes and let the time belong entirely to him. Only he can have a good time. When he really wants to leave, he may feel nostalgic, but he will not be unwilling. On the contrary, if within these five minutes, you are constantly whispering in his ear, constantly reminding him that it is time to leave. He has never felt that these five minutes belong to him. If I say \”I give you five minutes\” next time, he may not want it. He may buy himself more time by crying. As for whether the reminder can be given within five minutes, I think it is absolutely necessary. You can give a reminder when there are still two minutes left, \”You still have two minutes.\” This way, the child will be mentally prepared and will not feel that the five minutes have passed suddenly and cannot accept it, and then bargain. Often, even if prompted, children will bargain after the time is up. That\’s the child testing the bottom line. In order for the rules to always work well, as parents, you still have to refuse. What was inappropriate about my friend\’s approach was that, first of all, she was fooling the child. Five minutes and five seconds are two different concepts and should not be talked about in a hurry. We may meet such a person in life. He also looks at his watch and it shows ten o\’clock. After a while, you ask what time it is. Most people\’s reaction is to look at their watch again, and they will not even look up. I said it was about half past ten, but when you saw it, it was really half past ten. Why is this happening? Because he is time sensitive. In life, such \”little cleverness\” skills will not bring him substantial benefits, but in everyone\’s eyes, smart people are made up of many such \”little cleverness\”. As a mother, you don’t need to be too deliberate and formulaic to cultivate your children’s perception of time, but you must not artificially interfere with your children’s perception of time. Secondly, if you give it five minutes, you will definitely get a genuine product. Giving your child five minutes is not only an agreement with your child, but also a trust in your child. Saying this sentence is equivalent to telling the child that I believe you are a trustworthy child, so you must also behave in a manner that trusts him. Don\’t look like you want to give but don\’t let go, either compressing time or nagging, otherwise the child will never experience the feeling of \”happiness\”. He has never \”indulged\” within the established range, and he may one day indulge beyond the safety line. Moreover, children are smart observers, and they will soon be able to detect the \”inconsistency between your words and deeds.\” When one day he can use the loopholes in your words and deeds to question you, it will be time for you to lose his trust. . Instead of racking your brains to justify yourself at that time, it’s better to give him your trust once and for all. A child who is trusted will have better and better self-discipline. Moreover, because he is trusted, he is happy and confident.