Son, you can cry too

Today is April 1st. In addition to being April Fool\’s Day, there will inevitably be a lot of people missing my brother Leslie Cheung. I sent Xiao Fuqi to kindergarten in the morning. During the morning check at the door, I saw a little boy crying loudly. The little boy\’s father threatened, \”Why are you crying? If you continue to cry, I won\’t come to pick you up in the afternoon. You are still crying, and you see none of your classmates are crying…\” Out of instinct, I felt that the little boy was so pitiful. I would think, if it were me, what would I do? I should be able to restrain myself from threatening \”I won\’t take you home\”, but I can\’t guarantee that I can still calm my children in a soft voice when I\’m about to be late for work. Although what that father did was inappropriate, it was probably how he grew up. As a boy, I have been told since I was a child to be strong and not to cry! Don\’t cry if you don\’t want to go to school, don\’t cry if your dad doesn\’t come to pick you up, don\’t cry if you are hurt, don\’t cry if you are bullied… Over time, the mountain of negative emotions will eventually overwhelm the child, and may force the child to take the next step. The path of no return. In fact, parents who don\’t allow their children to cry are unable to face their own anxiety. When children cry, they will feel that they have failed to fulfill their responsibilities, and then become irritable and upset, and their mood will also become bad. Therefore, they shout loudly to prevent their children from crying, just to make themselves feel better. Looking back at this article, I also have a different feeling in my heart. Son, boys can cry too. If you feel sad, it will be much easier if you can cry! real! Little boys don’t cry. Little boys like to run and jump, so it is inevitable that they often bump into each other, such as little blessings. But no matter whether he fell from the bed or fell on the ground, Xiao Blessing never cried. His \”bravery\” was greatly appreciated by his family. \”You are great!\” \”You are so brave!\” \”You are a man!\”… These words of praise are our praise for him. Once, little Fuqi was playing with children in the community and accidentally fell on the concrete floor. I saw him with my own eyes. He lay on the ground and froze for three seconds. It seemed that after some mental struggle, he got up and said, \”It\’s okay, it\’s okay.\” , I won’t cry.” It was clear that both knees had a huge scrape of skin, and it hurt to look at me, but he said it was fine. I don’t know whether he really didn’t cry because he wasn’t in pain, or whether he was clearly in pain, but long-term “anti-frustration training” made him reflexively choose not to cry. Parents of the younger generation believe in the new education rules: children must learn to be independent from an early age. Even if they fall, they should not help them, and they cannot hit the desks, chairs, or benches if they fall. Otherwise, improper upbringing will make children learn to shirk responsibility and fail to take responsibility. It is said that this can cultivate a good sense of responsibility in children. I deeply agree with this, so when Xiaofu fell down as a child, I always said lightly, \”It doesn\’t matter, get up on your own.\” Mr. Unhappy also hoped that Xiaofu would be brave and strong, and not be as timid as he was when he was a child. Cowardly, all he was taught was the principle of being a \”man\”. My mother was worried every day that Xiao Fu would cause trouble outside and meet other people\’s children. So when she met someone younger than him, she would say, \”You are an elder brother. You have to let your younger brothers and sisters play with their toys for a while. Don\’t be stingy.\” . When he met someone older than him, he said again, \”You are a boy, don\’t talk to the younger ones.\”Girls grab”, or “You have to learn from your brother and learn to share. \”… Little Fortune grew up day by day, and we finally trained him to be a \”steel man\”. He ate big mouthfuls, was fond of fighting injustices, and would not cry even if he fell. He acted like a \”little man\”. \”No. \”Crying\” turns a boy into a man. Qiao Renliang commits suicide. Many people are happy to pay attention to depression. But it seems that they still can\’t figure it out. Why should he be depressed when he is a star, rich and beautiful? Not only passers-by can\’t figure it out, but Qiao Renliang\’s parents also He claimed that he had “no knowledge” of his serious illness. It is said that this is because “Qiao Renliang has a strong sense of self-esteem and has never wanted others to know about his illness, including not confessing to his parents in order not to worry him. \”Maybe you want to ask, isn\’t it uncomfortable to hold it in like this? It\’s uncomfortable! But you\’ve been used to it since you were a child, right? In traditional culture, the standard for a good boy is to be brave and strong, and to be \”a man with tears\” \”Don\’t play it lightly.\” To make money to support the family, you must not let your parents worry about it, and you must also shoulder the responsibility of being the head of the family. Depression is not something that can be achieved in a day, but after a long period of \”self-repression\” accumulation, especially for those who have been growing up since childhood. Boys who asked \”not to cry\”. However, when the pressure reaches a dangerous critical point and there is no suitable way to vent, they will naturally go to extremes. Even if one suicide fails, there will be another one. If this At that time, if the boys who are under pressure can open up their hearts to their family and friends and express their emotions correctly, their family members may be able to provide timely care and help, and the tragedy may not happen. But in reality, the closer the people are, the more likely they are to express their emotions correctly. Unable to speak, I am more willing to ask strangers for help. When I see such messages, I will think of small blessings: If he encounters similar pain in the future, will he tell me, and will he throw himself into my arms with peace of mind? Cry. When the boy grows up, he has no chance to cry. When the little boy grows up, has his own family, and becomes a father, he has no chance to cry. When the child is young, the father is a superman. Whenever the child encounters trouble, they will Appear and then solve everything, like an almighty knight. In the hearts of children, dad is a superhero who will not be cowardly. There is a scene in the Korean drama \”Reply 1988\” where the fathers of Deok-sun, Aze and Jung-hwan are sitting Drink together and reveal each other\’s embarrassing and crying stories. The carefree father Deshan will cry bitterly because he is afraid of losing his wife; the father Zhenghuan who wants to protect his wife and children will show off despite knowing he doesn\’t know how to repair electrical appliances; and he says \”Don\’t let me Aze’s father, who moves rashly and is as quiet as a mountain, would burst into tears because he was worried about Aze’s plane crashing. He would even be afraid of the little mouse… But for the sake of their children and the family, they chose to hide their Weak, because they want to live in the name of \”father\”. Maybe we have become accustomed to living under the protection of our father, forgetting that they were once other people\’s sons, little boys who were afraid of the dark, ghosts, and rain and thunder. If Trying to hold back the tears is the only way for boys to become men. At least when they are little boys, they can throw themselves into their mother\’s arms and cry without any scruples. Even if they encounter setbacks and difficulties in the future,It\’s difficult. When they are sad, they must also tell the boys that they can come back to their parents to talk to them at any time, and they don\’t have to worry about their cowardly side being seen by their family and friends. Compared with becoming a real \”man\”, I hope that my little blessing will be a child who can laugh when he is happy, cry when he is sad, and get angry when he is angry, a normal child with various emotions. When he falls down, I let him get up on his own. At the same time, I will walk over, pat the dust on his body, hug him and kiss him, and then say: \”It\’s okay, son. If he is scared and hurts from the fall, you can do it too.\” You can cry. Even if you cry, mom still loves you.\”