Stefanie Sun revealed herself as a \”bad mother\”, many mothers cried…

\”I won\’t care if you die!\” She once broke down from exhaustion and said such angry words to her son. It turned out that Stefanie Sun, who was peacefully raising her second child at home, suddenly encountered her eldest son suffering from a severe cold. She posted a long Weibo post detailing her journey of accompanying her son to fight the cold and fever. Between the lines, in addition to deep exhaustion, there is also guilt for the child. The following is the full text of Stefanie Sun\’s Weibo (swipe the picture to view). For 9 days, she took care of her sick eldest son meticulously while pregnant with the baby in her belly. The hardships can be imagined. In order to take care of her son, she held up her pregnant belly and didn\’t have a good night\’s sleep for 9 days. She got up in the middle of the night to feed the child water, took his temperature day and night, patiently coaxed him to take medicine, and was so clumsy that she followed the recipe to make nutritious soup. , but just because of an angry remark after her emotional breakdown, she blamed herself for being a \”bad mother.\” However, it was such a \”terrible mother\” who \”spent a full 20 minutes explaining to her son that the blood test was actually far less painful than the last fall\” when it was her son\’s turn for a blood test. She also had \”tears in her eyes\” when she saw her son, who had been sick for several days, \”finally finish a bowl of noodles successfully.\” At this moment, what I see is not a shining star, but an ordinary mother who loves her children with all her strength, but is afraid that she is not good enough. Netizens also supported her, praising her as a caring mother rather than a \”terrible\” mother. More mothers lamented that after becoming mothers, such dazzling stars under the camera are like every ordinary mother among us. While taking care of their children, they are worried that they are not doing well enough. In fact, which mother doesn’t blame herself deeply while working hard to move forward. Last night, my best friend told me a little guiltily that her second child, who was less than one year old, fell out of bed a few days ago. I called my husband to tell her, but he was also very frightened and blamed her for being so careless. Image source: \”Sister\’s Keeper\” My heart skipped a beat, I felt so sorry for the baby, and I was thinking about reminding my best friend to be careful next time. However, after listening to her story about how the baby fell out of bed, I just wanted to hug her through the screen. That night, my best friend put the two children to bed as usual and then started reviewing the postgraduate entrance examination materials. It was late at night, and she finally fell asleep. In the morning, while she was still sleeping, Erbao woke up and sat up. She took a hazy look and instinctively hugged Erbao, hoping that Erbao would sleep a little longer. Unexpectedly, she fell asleep quickly. Suddenly there was a \”bang\” sound that woke her up. When she looked again, she found that she was holding Dabao and Erbao had fallen to the ground. She was completely sleepless and quickly picked up Erbao to see if he was injured from the fall. Image source: \”Desperate Housewives\” She blamed herself and said: Did I do something wrong? Am I seeking death by doing this? Shouldn\’t I take the postgraduate entrance examination? If I hadn\’t gone to bed so late, I wouldn\’t have been unable to wake up in the morning, otherwise the child wouldn\’t have fallen out of bed. If the child has any shortcomings, I will regret it to death! It hurts. She is pregnant for ten months and once she gives birth, any mother will not protect her child with her life. Once a child makes a mistake, there is no need for anyone else to blame the mother, she herself is already dead of guilt. Because no one loves her children more than a mother. Image source: \”Desperate Housewives\” I told her, \”You are already veryIt’s not easy anymore, don’t blame yourself anymore. \”In fact, my best friend\’s husband has been away on business trips all year round. She is raising two children by herself, buying a house and renovating it, taking care of relationships, and is currently preparing for a full-time graduate school exam. One person is already exhausted just taking care of two children, let alone taking care of so many things at the same time. After becoming mothers, we are always worried that we are not doing well enough, and we wish we had nothing but three heads and six arms. However, we are only mortal beings. Since becoming mothers, our life has been like facing an unexpected exam, with so many people and voices giving you ticks and crosses. Therefore, we constantly doubt ourselves and deny ourselves in the voices of others. When I was pregnant, I secretly ate a bowl of instant noodles that I thought about day and night. ——Eating bubbles is not good for babies. They are almost mothers, and they still can’t control their mouths! In the days after giving birth to the baby, my legs were shaking with pain whenever I breastfed. ——Why don’t you just feed me milk? How can I be a mother? Why am I so delicate? I don’t want to make complementary food for my baby, so I’m too lazy to buy ready-made fruit puree. ——The ones bought outside are not as healthy as those made by yourself. Don’t be lazy next time. Among the children’s kindergarten crafts, I am the ugliest. ——Sorry kid, why is mom so stupid! I slept too deeply at night and did not cover my child with a quilt in time. As a result, my child had a fever. ——You have a baby and you sleep like a pig. How can you be a mother? It’s your fault that the baby has a fever. You have tried to reason with your baby countless times to no avail, and you can’t help but yell at your baby. ——\”A mother\’s emotions affect her child\’s life\”——It\’s over, I yelled at my child, I\’m a bad mother. All these kinds of things. Therefore, while we instinctively love our children in our own way, we are also worried that we are not doing well and will affect the growth of our children. We became a bunch of anxious moms born out of love. Last year, UC Big Data released China’s first “Chinese Mother Anxiety Index Report”. In the item \”Which profession has the highest mother anxiety index?\”, the first and second ranked are the financial industry and the Internet industry respectively, and the third ranked is stay-at-home mothers. The financial industry and the Internet industry have high work intensity, so it is reasonable for them to become the most anxious industries. \”Stay-at-home moms\” are also following closely behind, which makes people sigh – how many mothers are trapped in the anxiety of \”working tirelessly for their children, but worrying about not being able to take care of them well.\” As for anxiety factors, the first and second ones are: children\’s health and children\’s education. It can be seen that issues about children have surpassed the relationship between husband and wife and personal development and become the most concerned and anxious issue for Chinese mothers. Host Yang Lan once revealed in an interview that she was also anxious because she was worried about not being a good mother. Her job requires frequent business trips, but a psychologist told her that infants and young children who are more than one year old cannot tell the difference between \”the mother\’s brief departure\” and \”the mother abandons him.\” Yang Lan loved her children, but she also loved her job, so she tried to reconcile with herself. She said: My children have a mother who doesn’t know how to cook, but they also have a mother who is well-informed and always enthusiastic, and a mother who enjoys her work and life. I think this is very important, and it is better than a mother who is always full of enthusiasm. The sighing mother wants to be strong. The knowledge I brought to them, brought themThe places they travel to, including my love and interest in work, can still have a very positive impact on them. Everyone has shortcomings, and there is no need to demand perfection, so I took it upon myself to forgive myself. As mothers, while we learn to love our children, we must also learn to reconcile with ourselves. Accept the imperfections of yourself and your children. No one is perfect, and we don’t have to force ourselves to be perfect mothers. Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: \”A good mother is this kind: I am willing to admit that there are problems with my education at any time, admit that I have done something wrong with my children, I am willing to admit my mistakes, and I am willing to improve. \”Similarly, our children are not perfect children. They have strengths and weaknesses. The scene between mother and child, more often than not, is just one flawed life trying to nurture and influence another flawed life. Image source: \”Wedding Dress\” Putting down the obsession with parenting A few days ago, Ma Yili shared the experience of her little daughter sleeping in separate beds on Weibo, regretting that she had insisted too much on parenting theories. She said with emotion: \”In raising children, you really don\’t dare to call yourself an expert just by casually mentioning a concept. I have never personally raised several children with different personalities, and I don\’t have anyone who has more than ten years of experience to follow me.\” Don’t show off after effects!” I have also raised two children with very different personalities. I deeply feel that when we raise children, we are nurturing a unique life, not an assembly line product with a certain size within a tolerance range. . It is not necessary to copy the theory in everything. Love is the best education. Gorky said: \”Whoever loves children will love them. Only those who love children can educate children.\” I once read such a short story in a book: A child was doing something in front of the computer. The thing is, it’s time to eat at this time. Should the mother ask the child to stop what he is doing and eat with everyone else, or should the mother leave the child alone and eat first? In the end, the mother did this: she filled the rice, gently brought it to the child, and told the child that it was time to eat. The mother and son smiled knowingly, and the child felt the mother\’s care for him, and at the same time he also felt the respect and love for him. Sometimes it doesn\’t matter what you do, what\’s important is letting the child feel the flow of love. Compared with cold rules and regulations such as \”it\’s time to have dinner with the family\”, the natural flow of love between mother and child is the best education. When we are not sure how to educate our children, we will definitely love them from the bottom of our hearts. So, moms, stop blaming yourself. It’s amazing that we have the courage to shoulder the responsibility of being a “mother.” No one is born to be a mother. Please give yourself more tolerance. Please also give mothers more understanding and tolerance. \”As a first-time mother, please take good care of me.\”