Stop saying: Just make do for the sake of the children, the children will not bear the blame!

I have seen a couple who had a small quarrel every three days and a big quarrel every seven days, which caused a lot of chaos in the house. The wife starts complaining about her husband\’s faults every time she meets someone. They are really a \”grudge couple\” worthy of the name. Some people always say, just leave if you can’t live with it! The wife shook her head, didn\’t she have a four-year-old child? She just had to make do for the sake of the child! There are too many stories like this. Families around me who are unhappy in their marriages but insist on not getting divorced all claim that this is the reason: for the sake of their children, what touched Dingdang’s mother was the divorce incident involving her best friend not long ago. She got married two years ago, and her marriage was very grand. Her husband was a rich and handsome man, and she lived a happy life. Not long after, she became pregnant, and later gave birth to a big, fat boy. They had a fight just after the baby was born. She went back to her parents\’ house in anger and clamored for a divorce because she suspected that her husband had someone outside. She has lived in her parents\’ home for more than three months, and her husband has visited them from time to time, hoping that she can come home. With the persuasion of her family, she returned to her husband\’s house with her children. I thought they could live a stable life from now on, but I never expected… After returning home, she still had various conflicts with her husband, and she still went back to her parents\’ house in anger from time to time. Every time she thought about getting a divorce, her family always tried to persuade her: What would happen to the children after divorce? He is still so young, so he should endure it for the sake of his children~ So, quarreling, getting back together, and quarreling again were like reincarnations, causing this young couple to suffer a lot. Children are supposed to be the fruit of love, but here they become the victim of a makeshift marriage. What is the purpose of marriage? Children are part of it, but so are love and responsibility. Those couples who are clamoring to make do for the sake of their children, what are you doing for your children? Do you want your children to see you arguing every day? For your children to grow up in a home filled with smoke and ready to fall apart at any time? For the sake of the child, every time the parents quarrel, can they cry inconsolably? Therefore, don\’t say that you have to make do with your marriage for the sake of your children. The real sake of your children should not be about making do, but about change. What you make do is definitely not what your child wants. Dingdang’s mother knows very well what a family means to children. There used to be a TV series called \”Family with Children\”, which many mothers must have watched. The life of this combined family has been turned into a comedy. After the interpretation, it is only funny and does not see the harm the family does to the children. It seems that after the family is reorganized, the children can grow up happily. However, life is not a TV series. The reality is far crueler than the TV series. The biggest wish of many children is that their parents can spend more time with them. When a couple decides to divorce, the psychological trauma caused to the children is devastating. However, some children are more sensible, consider their parents\’ happiness, and can accept their parents\’ divorce. After all, these are the minority. I once watched a talk show, and there was a child in it. When asked about her wish, she said, I hope my father will stop bullying my mother, and I want to take her mother far, far away. This is a family with domestic violence. The husband is an alcoholic and always beats his wife when he is drunk, leaving psychological trauma to the children. Children growing up in such a family are far more painful than divorce.Big, it\’s time to leave early. Good morning. For the sake of the children, choose to make do. Then not long after, they started to quarrel whenever they disagreed, and the cycle repeated again and again, which was extremely painful. Once you have endured this kind of suffering, tolerance and change will not be difficult. Now that you have decided to tolerate it for the sake of your children, let\’s be more tolerant of each other and hurt less. What children actually want is not just the family that their parents cling to for themselves. What he wants is love. Not only the love for children, but also the love between parents. He hopes that his parents can also be happy and that the family of three can live together happily. Since you have chosen not to separate, don\’t just make do. For the sake of their children, parents work hard to protect this home. Happiness is the most important thing. The happiness of the child is the common goal of both husband and wife, isn\’t it? In order to achieve this goal, please be more tolerant, more considerate, and less contradictory. There is nothing that cannot be solved. Finally, I would like to end with one sentence: Except for life and death, they are all trivial matters. Falling in love is easy, marriage is not easy, do it and cherish it. Text | Dingdang Mama