Stop saying these 4 things! Children will be frightened by you and have various sequelae

When children are naughty and mischievous, parents always like to say, \”If you don\’t obey me, the police will arrest you…\” There are also big bad wolves, big tigers, monsters, witches, doctors, even beggars, strangers, etc. with \”threatening\” \”Words that mean \”are often used by parents to punish naughty children, and they have proven successful time and time again. However, is it really good to scare children like this? Which is the scariest thing to scare children? In fact, this kind of \”intimidation parenting\” can be regarded as a major tradition of Chinese parents. You might as well compare the following scary words to review your childhood. Have you ever been scared like this? Professional type: \”My grandma always liked to say if I was disobedient when I was a child, if I was naughty again, the police would arrest me and I would never see my mother again. Every time I heard such words, I would be scared to death for a long time. Time, walking on the street, sometimes I will be scared to tears when I see the police on duty. \”Police, doctors, teachers. The police arrest disobedient children, doctors give injections to disobedient children, teachers make disobedient children stand still… Weird stories: \”When I was a child, I would not sleep, so my mother used the term \’Tiger Aunt\’ to scare me, saying that Aunt Tiger liked to come out at night. , any child who is not sleeping will be caught, and his fingers will be eaten by Aunt Tiger like a carrot. As a result, I dare not turn off the light when I go to bed at night. \”Aunt Tiger, Grandma Wolf, old witch, big monster… different places The ghost stories are different, but the common feature is that these ghost stories love to eat children. Stranger Type \”When I was a child, I heard the most terrifying words from my elders, which were \’Mom doesn\’t want you anymore\’ or \’Sell you to a scrap collector.\’ These words once made me feel that my parents no longer loved me, and even hid themselves from me. Crying secretly under the covers, for fear of being abandoned the next day.\” Couriers, waste collectors, beggars and even passers-by will all be used to scare children. The thought of being abandoned by their parents will make the children absolutely obedient. obedient! Allegorical Threat Type \”I heard many scary stories when I was a child, saying that children who are too lazy to eat big cakes will starve to death, and those who eat too many candies will have their teeth rotten. The most terrifying one is that they cannot go to the river to play in the water, otherwise they will Being dragged away by a drowned ghost to be used as a substitute…\” The fable may not be scary, but the psychological pressure it creates can last for a long time! An organization once conducted a survey: among 500 parents, 419 parents had used this method to discipline their children. The \”intimidation parenting method\” of seeking to reduce the child\’s psychological shadow area is absolutely effective and achieves the results expected by parents. But did the parents find out? Doing so has left a deep shadow in the children\’s hearts: children do not trust others. Young children have limited ability to distinguish. They may not be able to distinguish between imagination and reality, and thus regard the threats of adults as reality, resulting in fear. It will make children feel insecure, even distrust others, and may even cause psychological barriers to certain things, affecting children\’s mental health. Inducing the threat of various diseases will strongly stimulate the child\’s nerve center, causing fear to remain, affecting endocrine, thus slowing down the child\’s development, affecting the child\’s language development, causing language barriers, and even making the child anxious and nervous, inducing mental illness. In addition, it may also cause internal organ dysfunction in children, causingVarious diseases, such as high fever and indigestion in young children after being frightened. Children can\’t tell right from wrong. Children\’s minds are immature, and their ability to distinguish right from wrong is far inferior to adults. If we often distort these facts in front of our children, the children will lack the ability to distinguish and recognize things, and may even form an incorrect view of right and wrong, causing them to misunderstand and fear professions such as police and doctors:○If parents If the doctor often scares the child with injections, then the child will not cooperate with the doctor once he gets sick; ○ If the parents often use the teacher to punish the child to make the child behave better, then the child will be afraid of the teacher and resist going to school; ○ If the parent often uses the police to arrest the child If someone comes to make the child obedient, then the child will not dare to ask the police for help if he gets lost. You may have no idea how serious the sequelae caused by scaring children in this way are: △A real case that has been popular on the Internet: A child was kidnapped and put in a car, and the police were just a step away, but the child did not call for help because the family The elders used to use the police to scare children, making the children think that the police are scarier than the bad guys, causing the child to miss out on life. △On the streets of Changsha, a policeman on patrol saw a girl who he thought was missing, so he stepped forward to help her. However, the girl was so frightened that she cried and said that she had done nothing bad and police officers should not arrest her. △After a 9-year-old abducted child was rescued, someone asked him why he didn’t call for help when he passed by a patrolling policeman at the train station. The boy said, “My mother said that if you don’t obey, you will be arrested by the police, so he didn’t dare to call out… \”After seeing such news, do you still dare to use \”scare parenting\” on your children casually? Use positive guidance to make your children listen to you! In fact, there are very few things that children are naturally afraid of, and many of them are learned. For example, the consequences are caused by adults trying to save trouble and hoping that a trick will be effective and scare children. And this kind of intimidation is essentially a kind of deception. 01 Stop scaring children away with external fears. Stop using roles such as police, teachers, and doctors to deceive children. Don’t use ghosts, beasts, etc. to scare children. Tell your children that in addition to catching bad people, the police can also Ask for help when you are in danger; teachers teach children knowledge; doctors treat patients. In this way, when children are in danger and need help, they will run to them instead of being scared away by them. 02 Telling children what to do is more effective than scaring them. In family education, children should establish a correct sense of reverence and use rules to restrain themselves, rather than letting external fears correct children\’s mistakes. When children have naughty behaviors such as crying or not eating, parents should first think about what went wrong, learn to understand the child\’s psychological needs from the child\’s behavior and living habits, and tell the child more about what to do to form correct concepts. , establish a sense of security. For example, if a child does something wrong, the parent directly tells the child that such behavior is wrong and should be corrected. Or use widely circulated and conventional stories or folklore concepts of good and evil to guide children to distinguish right from wrong, good and evil. In addition, children should always be praised for their strengths and weaknesses, affirmed for their correct behavior, and enhance their self-confidence. 03 It doesn’t make sense, methods to work around Of course, parents will also encounter naughty children who are unwilling to listen no matter how reasonable they are. In the end, they lose patience and can only use threats to make their children obedient. For example, the children refuse to sleep no matter what. , scaring the child that if he didn\’t sleep, Aunt Tiger would eat his fingers. How pitiful it is to let a child sleep with fear! In fact, changing the method, such as telling the child a story, playing some music, flipping through a book, playing a small game, getting a massage, etc., can help the child slowly relax and naturally be willing to sleep well. Is everyone happy with the result? 04 Give your child more choices. In addition, when your child is stubborn and refuses to obey, you can also try to give your child more choices instead of just one choice, so that your child will feel more free. For example, if your child doesn\’t want to do homework, don\’t tell him, \”I\’ll put you in school and let the teacher punish you.\” You can give him two choices: finish homework and then play, or play first and then do homework; If you refuse to brush your teeth, don\’t say \”I\’ll take you to the hospital to have your teeth filled and extracted if you don\’t brush your teeth.\” Instead, give your child some choices: \”Do you want to use strawberry-flavored toothpaste or mint-flavored toothpaste?\” It will naturally be easier for your child to accept it.