Talking to children like this will only make them worse! No matter how busy you are, you have to take a look

A child is a little angel. His eyes as an infant are really like a clear lake, clean and bright, shining on us all the time. When we are with our children, we become much simpler and purer! However, many children do not grow up to be what we expect! Because before we deal with the child, we don’t understand his heart. Preaching and persecution without spiritual harmony is a kind of harm! The little boy next door has eyes full of disappointment recently! A ten-year-old boy has a sadness that does not suit his age! Once in an English interest class, the boy was in a dissociated state again. The teacher asked a very simple question, but the boy didn\’t understand what he said! The mother looked angry and looked at the distracted little boy in the classroom. She was so angry! From being tolerant at the beginning to becoming unbearable, he chatters endlessly. \”This child has no future. It\’s so disappointing! He knows how to fall in love at such a young age, and he doesn\’t even listen to the extra money for extra lessons…\” The mother became more and more angry as she spoke, and many people around her were surprised. It\’s too early to fall in love early. Everyone looked at the little boy with pitiful eyes, as if they were mourning for a child who had lost his future! This look is enough to hurt someone! Sometimes, caring words and sympathetic eyes are hurtful. The biggest help is not paying attention! Give the child a space. Don\’t have so many eyes and mouths. The child will really be suffocated! After a while, his father came, but the little boy didn\’t know it at all and was still thinking about something blankly. The father endured it again and again, and finally got out of class. When the child came out, the father kicked him twice, yelled \”It\’s a dead thing\”, and walked away! The origin of all anger lies in the child\’s unsatisfactory performance and the child\’s \”puppy love\”. A little boy fell in love with a girl in his class. She was gentle and well-behaved. He secretly wrote a love letter, \”I love you\”, and imitated an adult and sent him a rose. The boy knew how to hide from his parents, but he didn\’t know that in public, a clumsy lie soon became known to everyone! Parents feel like they are facing a formidable enemy. The three father-in-laws and six mothers-in-law are brainstorming! The three courts will interrogate, and there are clues. It is better to kill him by mistake than to let him go! The fake has become real! Under the wrath of their parents, boys and girls get closer and closer! Things came to a very bad end. In fact, the world of children may not be that complicated! Imitation of the adult world without the ability to judge, curiosity about future life, etc.! Maybe, it\’s just an imitation. They didn\’t understand what this kind of behavior was, but the adults\’ anger, accusations and even abuse gave the matter its final say. The child may think very simply, but everyone agrees and amidst everyone\’s anger, the child repeats over and over again in his mind \”How terrible I am, how wrong I am!\” He will still be unwilling to accept: \”Maybe I am not that bad, why am I Is it wrong to not like someone?\” Maybe this is the \”Romeo effect\”. External opposition and pressure make two children who don\’t understand love form an alliance and form a hedgehog, desperately protecting themselves. Hurt others! In the midst of frustration and rebellion, the boy was filled with anxiety and overwhelmed! If you think about the life of a little boy, this situation is not accidental! I have been with my grandparents since I was a child. Grandpa does odd jobs, every day, the children are all together with their grandma, in the streets, the parents are short-sighted, and the children think that life is just like right and wrong! Mom and dad are busy working and making money. Don\’t ask about warmth and coldness, just ask about the score. Grandma kept nagging, just those few words all day long! How lonely and lonely the child feels inside. The boy also tried to find the warmth of his soul. However, when he happily showed his painting to his mother, her mother said, \”What is this?\” with a look of wonder and doubt on his face. When the child wanted to describe it, the mother said again: \”Did you write the homework? What is the score on the test? You are always so sloppy and don\’t work hard. Xiaolan got double hundred again this time. Xiaofang did her homework when she got home… The child\’s heart The expectations that had just bloomed withered like this, and a lonely \”Oh\” ended an emotional appeal! Dad is a man of few words, and his spiritual world cannot tolerate the drag of a child. If the child does not make mistakes, there will be little communication between father and son! When all communication ends up being disciplined by parents, when all desires end up being the expectation of learning, and the right to speak is held high in the hands of parents, what to say, how to say it, and what to do, everything is forged into a trajectory. , the child can only be a train on the track, watching the parent\’s flag drive! The child\’s right to express is deprived, or the child has no desire to express at all. The child cannot release his inner thoughts in the family, and the child will feel If there is no one to share his thoughts, problems and fears, and no one to share his inner feelings, the child will feel lonely. If he cannot bear this loneliness, the child will explore and try in other fields! A butterfly in the southern hemisphere occasionally flaps its wings The weak air flow brought up, due to the mixing of various other factors, will actually turn into a tornado sweeping across Texas in the United States a few weeks later! Turbulence scientists call this phenomenon the \”butterfly effect\”. And made a theoretical statement: a very small cause, after a certain period of time and the participation of other factors, can develop into an extremely huge and complex influence. The \”butterfly effect\” tells us that educating children is no small matter. A one-sentence statement , the correct and appropriate handling of a matter may affect the child\’s life; the wrong and arbitrary handling may hinder the child\’s life. When a child has a problem, parents choose to \”over-limit\” due to fear, worry, vanity, frustration and other reasons. \”Punishment and humiliation of children will wipe out the child\’s self-confidence and may also create many new problems. Indifference and autism: The child\’s heart is full of entanglements and does not understand why he is like this. He needs careful care from parents. Patient guidance! For children, parents\’ responsibilities are divided into three types: \”protection, guidance, and independence.\” When children need \”protection and guidance,\” parents who push away children with anger will only make the children\’s hearts grow worse. He closed himself up and became more and more indifferent. When the singer Qi Qin was a boy, he often got into fights and neglected his job, and his father often beat him with sticks. However, Qi Qin\’s stubbornness became worse. When he came back from getting into trouble every day, he would kneel on the ground, waiting for his father to beat him and scold him. It was still the same the next day. However, one day, Qi Qin knelt down, and his father just said, \”Go to bed.\” Qi Qin was touched in his heart, suddenly realized, and opened the door to music! The child did something wrongAfter that, what is needed more is understanding and guidance! Blindly punishing and reprimanding will only make children shrink tighter and tighter like a hedgehog, erecting all their spines to protect themselves! Blind obedience and cowardice: The child does not understand why he is wrong, he only knows that he will be beaten if he does so. What I fear is not the mistake itself, but the pain caused by my parents. In fact, children still don’t understand right from wrong. In order not to get beaten, give up your own opinions. Because of fear of punishment, I dare not approach others and fear of action! Stubbornness and confrontation: Children\’s world is too simple. They judge the seriousness of the situation from their parents\’ reactions, or they use their parents\’ judgment as their own judgment. The heart will also be full of entanglements in the face of a person who does not understand right and wrong, and because of the parents\’ inappropriate ways, they will not be able to perceive the love of their parents! Becoming a \”green bean without salt and oil\”, you can even find some self-recognition and happiness in the midst of confrontation! Seek attention, prove your existence, and find a sense of accomplishment through constant provocation! Since the love is deep, we cannot bear the responsibility! When we want to use sticks and imaginary words, we have to think clearly: Do we want to vent our anger or help our children? Do we cannot bear the children\’s mistakes or can we not bear our own frustration? Only sunshine can melt the ice. Before you deal with the child, you must first understand his heart! If we want our children to be better, we must first admit that \”education is no small matter.\” Following the children\’s growth patterns and gently accompanying them to grow together is our most important mission!