Teaching by words is not as good as teaching by example, and teaching by example is not as good as teaching by surroundings

Introduction: \”The so-called \’if the son fails to teach, it is the father\’s fault\’, the ancient saying is the most basic truth.\” When it comes to raising children, parents have an unshirkable responsibility. After children are born, they live in the family. Parents are their \”first generation\” teachers, so they play a key role. But some parents like to talk with their mouths but don\’t know how to take action. They also think that they are \”teaching by words and deeds\”. In fact, they only \”talk\” but ignore \”deeds\”. I was taking my baby for a walk in the square, and I met Wang Min who was also taking her baby out to play. She was full of sadness and looked particularly unhappy. With a heart of \”learning\” (gossip), I asked her what was going on with concern. Wang Min said that it is too difficult to take care of children now. When I get home at night, I don’t do my homework and just play with my mobile phone. I played for 15 minutes and asked him to do his homework. He didn\’t do it either, and half an hour passed. I have to do my homework until after 10 o\’clock every night, go to bed at 11 o\’clock, and stay in bed again the next day. It\’s really frustrating! I asked Wang Min, what are you doing when your children are doing homework? Wang Min said that after cleaning up the housework, he sat next to him and checked his cell phone! What else can I do? After hearing this, I probably understood why children always play with their mobile phones. Because the mother is checking her cell phone right next to her, and the child wants it too! Although his mother kept saying that he should do his homework, she held her mobile phone and browsed it. The child\’s eyes were naturally attracted and he no longer wanted to do his homework. [Children\’s Bedtime Stories] Collector\’s Edition of 300 Classic Philosophical Stories I told Wang Min, try it. You don\’t have to talk to your child so much next time. Just sit next to your child after school and read a book, or write, and cultivate yourself. Take a look. What was his reaction? It was a week later that I met Wang Min again. She held my hand and said, this trick really works, but I still have to talk about the child a few times, and I can basically do my homework and go to bed at 9pm. It works so well! I told Wang Min that in fact, educating children is not that difficult. They say it is \”teaching by words and deeds\”. In fact, many parents do \”words\”, that is, they tell their children that they must study and do homework, but \”doing\” is ignored. Neglected. Wang Min said, indeed, in the past, I always nagged my children to do this and do that, but I never reviewed my own behavior patterns. In fact, it is wrong to always hope that your children can do it if you have not done it yourself. Laozi said: \”A sage does nothing, and teaches without words.\” What he means is that managers should practice \”teaching without words.\” That is, when teaching subordinates, they do not need to teach in many words, but practice it, lead by example, and use words to teach. Good behavior affects subordinates. The same is true for educating children. Parents say they want their children to study hard, but they are scrolling through their mobile phones. If you don\’t lead by example, your children will never be able to teach well. Among the eight great families in the Tang and Song dynasties, the Su family and his sons accounted for three. Three heroes in one discipline are envied by many people. Their parents’ education methods are also talked about. It is recorded in the \”Three Character Classic\” that the children of the Su family were very naughty when they were young, just like ordinary children, especially Su Xun, who did not like to study when he was young, and traveled around and refused to obey discipline. People around him advised his father to take care of the child! But his father, Su Xu, said there was no need to worry. Later, when Su Shi was born, 27-year-old Su Xun decided to start studying hard. But it\’s too late,Su Xun felt very regretful, so he was very concerned about his children\’s education. In order to enable Su Shi and Su Che to study hard, he tried his best, but it had no effect. Later, Su Xun began to hold a book and read it where the children were playing. When the two brothers approached, he hid the book and refused to show it to them. The brothers\’ curiosity was aroused, and later they took advantage of their father\’s absence to secretly read the book, and they were soon attracted to it. The habit of reading gradually developed, and later, all three of them became famous writers. Therefore, it is more practical for parents to say \”study hard\” in front of their children than to hold a book in their hands! I came across a video in which my mother recorded how my father taught me by words and deeds. When a child accidentally spilled hot chocolate on his father’s bag, his father said, “Just wipe it.” When my mother soiled the sofa cushions that my father had just washed. , the father said \”just wash it\”; when the mother accidentally spilled the child\’s snacks, the child immediately said \”it\’s okay, mom, are your hands okay?\” This is true precepts and deeds, actions come first, words come first back. Tan Xudong, professor, doctoral supervisor, and director of the Children\’s Literature Research Center at the School of Liberal Arts of Shanghai University, believes that in family education, parents are role models for their children in terms of behavior and language. He said: \”As parents, since you have given birth to a child, you have to raise the child and educate the child.\” It is true that many parents understand this truth, but when it comes to education methods, they are always illegal and cause trouble at home. The chickens and dogs are restless. Based on Professor Tan\’s suggestions, I have summarized the following points, which parents should pay attention to in family education: 1. To create a family cultural environment, at least there must be books and bookshelves if possible; 2. Speak in a civilized manner and speak less. Or don’t say bad words or slanderous words, and give your children a good language training; 3. Have a regular schedule and don’t sleep in; 4. Do things in an orderly manner and be honest; 5. Dress naturally and appropriately, and be hygienic; 6. Love reading and raising children. Make it a good habit to read. You can see that the above six items are basically based on normative behaviors. None of them tell parents how to conquer your children with words. Therefore, \”teaching by example\” is better than \”teaching by words\”. Don\’t put the cart before the horse! Parents are the leaders and actors in family education, while children are participants and recipients. Influencing the child in a way that he can accept is much more effective than your random thoughts every day!