Tell your children what to do when they are bullied

A mother asked for help in the group: \”My child is introverted and timid. He is often bullied and doesn\’t know how to deal with it. What should I do?\” Many times, we only think about educating our children to be sensible and modest, but forget that they will have to face it one day. In the Jianghu, there will be all kinds of people and conflicts. When they grow up, these good children who were obedient in childhood are likely to become \”soft persimmons\” who are bullied and remain silent. We believe that fighting back is necessary. Rather than the power to fight back, we must cultivate the wisdom of children to fight back. Good education is definitely not about not hitting back and not retaliate when scolded. Never say \”it\’s okay\” for your child when he or she is being bullied. It is very common for children to be bullied. What’s more common is that many parents will say: It’s okay, it’s just for fun, and let their children respond politely to this behavior. If you look into it carefully, parents are half responsible for their children being bullied. Because if his parents don\’t take it seriously, to some extent they are condoning his bullies. Although it is a blessing to suffer a loss, one must be careful when dividing things up. If parents always ask them to give in, they will most likely become more timid and cowardly when they grow up. Children cannot bully others. This is a matter of family education. Preventing children from being bullied is also an issue that parents need to teach. For the sake of a child\’s healthy physical and mental development, parents should teach him how to fight back forcefully instead of just saying \”it doesn\’t matter.\” Blindly saying \”fight back\” is likely to raise children who respond to violence with violence, which is different from swallowing one\’s anger. Some parents support that children must \”fight back\” if they are bullied. But is this okay? In the variety show \”Teacher Please Answer\”, the 7-year-old girl Youyou is a child who must fight back when bullied. At home, she was very disrespectful to her mother and would beat her whenever she was unhappy; she would wave her brother away as soon as he was summoned, and would raise her fists at every turn; at school, she was arrogant and domineering, hitting her classmates if she disagreed with them. Don\’t take the teacher seriously. The scary thing is that all this was actually caused by her father. When Youyou was 2 years old, she was bullied by a child in an amusement park and scratched a red mark on her face. When the father found out, he was very angry and asked his daughter to \”hit her back if she was beaten.\” He taught her self-defense skills at home for half a month. From then on, Youyou kept this in mind and started fighting when she saw someone she didn\’t like. She always wanted to win or lose in everything. At school, no one wanted to play with her because of the beatings; at home, she became a misbehaving little bully, and even her parents couldn\’t control her. Although Yoyo\’s father originally wanted his child to be strong, he was worried that his child would turn into a weak and useless person. However, encouraging \”hit back\” regardless of the situation will strengthen children\’s potential awareness of aggression and lead them to advocate violence. Especially children who are in the growing stage have limited cognition. The prerequisite for teaching them to fight back is to understand the definition of \”being bullied\”. If children do not understand this concept, they may mistake playfulness for malicious attacks and become violent. The \”little bully\” who controls violence. Guide children to learn to handle small conflicts correctly so that they can truly protect themselves and handle major issues independently when they grow up. Tell your children what to do when they are bullied. Some time ago, a video of a pair of twin brothers quarreling went viral. They often have fierce quarrels over trivial matters, but each time they develop from quarrels to confrontation.Think, then apologize. For other parents, when they see their children fighting, their first reaction may be to accuse them indiscriminately, but the mother in the video did not. She quietly guided and recorded the quarrel. Sometimes, letting children \”quarrel\” is developing the ability to face conflict head-on. Not only can children express their thoughts clearly, but they can also learn how to fight for fairness for themselves. So in order to prevent children from being bullied, you might as well tell them what they can do when they are bullied. First, learn to say \”no\” in the process of getting along. If the child obviously feels uncomfortable but does not dare to bring it up, over time the other party will feel that the child is easy to bully and will repeatedly inflict violence. Tell your children to express their thoughts bravely: \”I don\’t want to play this game\”, \”I don\’t like you touching me like this\”, \”I feel uncomfortable when you do this\”. Second, you must not lose your momentum. When being bullied, you must keep your eyes firmly on the other person and act like you are not to be trifled with. This will dissuade most people. Let him know that the child is not easy to handle, and the bully will also be afraid of attracting parents\’ attention and reprimand. Third, make good use of rhetorical questions and always remember, don’t rush to prove your innocence. In the process of self-certification, children often become more at a loss, speak incoherently, and expose their weaknesses. On the contrary, use a series of rhetorical questions: \”Why did you do this?\” \”Can you prove that it was my fault?\” \”Who can testify?\” \”Do you dare to confront me?\” On the contrary, it can make the other party feel guilty and thus achieve the purpose of shock. Effect. Fourth, seek help in a timely manner. If the other party still does not stop his behavior under such language, it is not an ordinary fight. Please be sure to seek help in time. Tell the child that this kind of malicious harm is beyond his control and he must rely on the power of others to help him. For example, tell the teacher, talk to your parents, or in more serious cases, call the police. Conflict is inevitable as children grow up. Blind tolerance indulges mediocre evil; blind violence breeds wanton evil. When a child is bullied, teaching him the correct way to fight back and protect himself is the most necessary survival rule. As parents, we should let our children have the cultivation not to bully others, but also have the aura and wisdom not to be hurt. In this way, he can put on his own armor and become invulnerable.