The 21 Days of Not Angry Challenge elementary school homework has become popular! can you do it…

Recently, a group of primary school students’ summer homework suddenly became popular on the Internet! The whole class was challenged and only one family succeeded. How scary is this assignment? It turns out that a primary school in Wuhan, Hubei Province assigned a special homework to the children during the summer vacation. The children were not required to do questions, but they were asked to complete a \”21 days without anger\” challenge with their parents. The result was unexpected: only one pair of twins successfully challenged their parents. \”July 31st, sunny. Dad helped me catch a cicada. I was very happy.\” \”August 4th, cloudy. Dad drank a little more wine and mom was unhappy. Dad made tea to apologize to mom.\”… This piece with \”sunny\”, \”cloudy\”, \”light rain\” and \”heavy rain\” written on it is not a diary, but an \”emotional barometer\” for children and parents. The teacher said, \”The challenge is not to avoid getting angry,\” but to make both children and parents aware of the importance of the family environment in managing children\’s emotions. One mother said that when she first got the challenge, she thought it was very simple, but actually found it difficult to do it. It\’s really hard not to be angry! But don\’t blow up when you\’re angry. When you\’re angry, don\’t use harsh words to hurt others or use your words indiscriminately. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse mouth breaks the heart. As parents, we may never know that when we are angry and yell out, it will be like a knife, stabbing our children physically and mentally. A friend of mine grew up under the \”yelling and scolding\” of his mother. What hurts her the most is that her mother often calls her a \”short-lived baby\”: \”Short-lived baby, why are you so stupid?\” \”Short-lived baby, why don\’t you go home!\” Once, she couldn\’t help but yelled back: \”Mom, Are you happy if my life is really short?\” At that moment, my mother was stunned! \”You are my mother, my beloved mother, why can\’t you talk properly?\” she cried sadly. There was a time when she couldn\’t sleep all night long. Whenever she closed her eyes, those unpleasant words kept ringing in her ears. When she was most painful, she stood on the rooftop of the fifth floor of the school and wanted to jump off. Parents are the people closest to their children and the ones who love their children the most, but they are often the ones who hurt their children the most. There is a public welfare short film in France called \”Ruining a Child\’s Life in One Minute\”, which hurt countless people. In the video, the protagonists recall the words that hurt them the most when they were young. Unexpectedly, the words that parents shouted inadvertently would travel through time and be deeply imprinted in the hearts of their children: What sin have I committed? I have a son like you. You are a waste! After all, you are far inferior to your brother from beginning to end! In just one minute, like a focusing lens, the pain that lingers in these adults\’ lives is condensed. Among them, there are many successful people, well-dressed people, and even octogenarians. But when they recall the hurtful words of their parents when they were young, their eyes and expressions are still full of grievances, fear, anger, and even despair. A psychological counselor shared such a case: a 5-year-old girl did not want to talk to her parents, but often talked to herself in front of a doll. The parents thought their child was suffering from depression and were so anxious that they sought medical treatment everywhere. After multiple psychological treatments, the girl said something that made her parents burst into tears on the spot: \”Because the doll can\’t scold me.\” It turned out that the girl\’s mother was impatient and often had no intention of scolding me.She often yells at the child: \”Stop crying…\” \”I\’ve scattered the toys everywhere again!\” \”Are you annoyed?\” The mother\’s casual words make the child sound like he\’s yelling loudly, losing his temper, or even verbally attacking. Over time, the girl lost her sense of security. In order to avoid harm, she became cautious and did not like to communicate with others. She talked to dolls all day long. The mother who knew the truth hugged her daughter guiltily and apologized with tears: Mom will never yell at you again! Image source: \”Black Mirror\” Verbal attacks are far more terrifying to children than we imagine. Compared with physical violence, they are sometimes more cruel. Research by Dr. Martin Teicher of Harvard University found that verbal aggression can damage children\’s brains. There is a popular question on Zhihu Hot Search: How do children feel when they are often yelled at? One of the top commenters replied: At that moment, all I could hear was the sound of my own heart breaking. An experiment by Dr. Ethan Kross of the University of Michigan found that emotional and physical pain respond very similarly in brain regions. When a person talks about feeling \”heartbroken,\” \”heartbroken\” is not exactly a metaphor anymore, and his or her nervous system may actually be experiencing almost the same level of pain. When a parent yells at a child, the emotional trauma the child suffers can be as painful as the physical injury. Picture source: \”The Four Hundred Blows\” Psychologist Marshall Luxemburg said: When language tends to ignore people\’s feelings and needs, leading to alienation and harm to each other, this method of communication will make it difficult for people to realize the love in their hearts. There are no good children who come out of \”scolding\”, only children who come out of \”love\”. Of course, mom is not a saint, and it is impossible not to yell at all, but next time, when the ancient power in your body is about to explode, you might as well try these two methods. Use \”low voice\” instead of \”roar\”. Psychologists have found that when dealing with the same thing, different tones will have different effects. When adults criticize children, children are more likely to accept it if they use a low tone. I remember one time, my daughter failed a math test. I was just about to roar when I suddenly remembered the secret of raising children passed on to me by my best friend: \”Educate in a calm tone and in a low voice.\” I gently hugged my daughter, touched her head and said, \”It doesn\’t matter, Mom knows you\’ve worked hard, just be more careful next time.\” After hearing this, my daughter actually cried: \”Mom, I will study hard. \”Yes, can you always be so gentle in the future?\” I was a little surprised. It turns out that children are also obedient, and they don\’t like hard things. When we can\’t help shouting at our children, if we lower our tone, we will find that our emotions are no longer so exciting. Because lowering your tone is actually a process of relieving anger and controlling emotions. Moreover, \”low voice\” makes it easier for children to concentrate on listening than \”noisy\”, which can achieve twice the result with half the effort of communication. Image source: \”This is us\” There is a term in psychology called the \”south wind effect\”: the north wind and the south wind compete to see who can take off the coats of pedestrians. The north wind blew a biting cold wind, and pedestrians wrapped their coats tightly because they were afraid of the cold; while the south wind blew a gentle breeze, and pedestrians felt warm and took off their coats. Gentle words will make children feel like spring breeze, educate children,Please start by talking nicely. Picture source: \”Little Naughty Nicholas\” Replace \”don\’t\” with \”can\” Before explaining this method, let\’s do a small experiment. Please recite the following sentence silently in your heart: Don\’t think about what a watermelon looks like. The color of watermelon, don’t think about the taste of watermelon. What were you thinking just now? Have you thought about the appearance, color and taste of watermelon? This is \”no\” language. When we say \”Don\’t run\” and \”Don\’t make trouble\” to the child, what the child actually hears is \”run\” and \”make trouble\”, so no matter how you yell, he will always look like he doesn\’t listen and will do what you prohibit. All over. At this time, the ancient power in your body is difficult not to explode. We must learn to replace \”don\’t\” with \”yes\” and guide our children from the perspective of love. \”Don\’t run\” is replaced by \”You can walk slowly\” \”Don\’t bark\” is replaced by \”You can be quieter\” \”Don\’t throw toys\” is replaced by \”You can put the toys away\” You will find that only two words have changed. The child\’s behavior has changed significantly. Some people\’s tongue is like a poisonous scorpion, and some people\’s tongue is like a lotus flower. This is the beauty of language. Teacher Yin Jianli said: When it comes to children, the greatest civilization for adults is to stand from the child\’s perspective, try to understand what he is doing, and guide his growth in a way that he is willing to accept. If a child is a sapling, the parents are farmers who need to provide timely sunlight, rain and dew, and a steady stream of life nutrients. Whether you want your child to be a withered seedling or to grow into a vigorous tree depends on what kind of life support you give him. Gentle words and full love are the most nutritious source of life. Children immersed in it will surely grow into towering trees.