The 5 major routines of lazy mothers. If you learn more than 3, your children will be close to becoming conscious and self-disciplined.

A few days ago, I saw a mother posting on the Internet complaining: \”Since my son was born, I have held him in my hands for fear of breaking, and held him in my mouth for fear of melting. I will give him everything he wants, and I will do whatever he wants. Support, but it’s just a small thing that didn’t go his way, and he actually said he hates me. I don’t understand, haven’t I done enough for him? How could I raise such a child?” There was a comment below. But my heart is very true: \”It\’s not that you haven\’t done enough, but you have done too much.\” We all understand that mothers want to be good to their children, but if this kind of kindness is not restrained, it will only turn into doting, step by step Destroy children. As Shen Yifei, a professor at Fudan University, said: \”The more powerful parents are, the more they must learn to fold their wings, because the power of adults will become a ceiling for children\’s development.\” The highest state of being a mother is not to do everything, but to learn \” be lazy\”. If you learn more than 3 of these 5 routines, your child will be close to becoming conscious and self-disciplined. Acting coquettishly and showing weakness gives children a stage to grow up. The book \”How to Make Children Adults and Adults\” says: \”The moment you stand up for your child, he becomes a victim. The message you convey to him is: You can\’t , you are not strong enough, you cannot solve this problem by yourself, you need me to step in and deal with it for you. Children who are too \’protected\’ will always deny their own abilities.\” In real life, many mothers are like this. While complaining that the child is procrastinating, he helps him prepare things in detail and calls him to get up; while complaining that the child is too timid, he \”steps forward\” and protects the child when he encounters problems; Complaining that children are ungrateful, but when they encounter good things, they give them all, saying \”I don\’t like to eat\”… Just imagine, how can a child who grows up in this situation grow? Mothers must know that if you want to be a big umbrella for your child, then he can only be the delicate flowers under the umbrella. If you want your child to become a big tree, then you must be willing to be a grass under the tree and give the sky back to your child. Mothers who truly love their children know how to show weakness to their children. This is not a concession to the child, but a kind of \”soft\” wisdom. 1. Use retreat to advance and make your children feel needed. In daily life, mothers can \”ask for help\” from their children more. For example, when doing housework, they can ask for help from their children: \”Baby, mom is not sure how to do this best. Can you help me think of a way?\” When mom does it With less, children can have more experiences, thereby stimulating responsibility and self-confidence when being needed again and again, and become strong and responsible. 2. Dare to let go and give the choice back to your children. When the child shows that he can make decisions on his own, the mother must be brave enough to let him go and give him enough trust and support. Even if the child does not do well, do not blame or criticize too much. Instead, help him clarify the reasons and teach him to take responsibility. Only in this way can children learn to be independent and autonomous, and face future challenges with more confidence. \”Hunger Education\” stimulates children\’s inner drive. Suzuki, a Japanese violin educator, introduced the concept of \”hunger marketing\” in business into education and created a \”hunger education method.\” He does not allow children who are starting class for the first time to touchpiano and just let them listen to other children playing. It wasn\’t until a few lessons later that these beginners were allowed to play the piano for a few minutes. Because the time was short, they cherished it very much and devoted themselves to every practice, and the results were particularly good. Suzuki took advantage of children\’s rebellious psychology and stimulated their curiosity and awakened their inner drive by prohibiting them from touching the piano. The same story happened to a mother. She bought a learning machine for her daughter, but told her daughter: \”This is mine, don\’t play with it.\” Upon hearing this, her daughter was so curious that she begged her mother to let her play with it for a while, and promised to return it on time. . In this way, my daughter always thought that this learning machine really belonged to her mother. She borrowed it from time to time and learned new knowledge with relish. As educator William Yeats said: \”Education is not filling a bucket of water, but lighting a fire.\” Raising children is a battle of wits and courage, and the most important thing is to get them interested in learning. arouse their curiosity. 1. Create a \”sense of scarcity\” to attract children to take the initiative to learn. Mothers can make their children feel the scarcity of learning resources through time limits, limited quantities, etc., so that they can cherish every learning opportunity and improve learning efficiency. It should be noted that such restrictions must be reasonable and moderate to avoid being overly repressive and causing real disgust in the child. 2. Make good use of rebellious psychology to create a good competitive atmosphere with children. Children\’s rebellious psychology is a double-edged sword. If used properly, education can get twice the result with half the effort. For example, when a child is unwilling to read a book, you can have a small competition with him and agree on how many pages to read. After half an hour, you will take turns telling the story and asking each other questions. Whoever cannot answer the question will lose. Then agree on rewards and punishments, and use this competition format to encourage children to continue learning. Set an example and cultivate good habits in children. Some netizens have shared their stories online. He was born in a single-parent family in a rural area and lived with his mother. Although my mother\’s education level is not high, she has great experience in educating her children. Since he was a child, his mother would accompany him every time he studied, but instead of supervising him, she would study with him with books. My mother doesn\’t know much about literacy, so she often looks up the words in the dictionary. Sometimes he gets tired from studying and wants to take a rest. He looks up at his mother and feels embarrassed to stop. In this way, with his mother\’s company, he developed good study habits and his concentration improved a lot. The famous educator Makarenko said: \”A parent\’s requirements for himself, a parent\’s respect for his family, and a parent\’s attention to his every behavior are the first and most important education methods.\” Children are born imitators, their every word and action will be affected by the surrounding environment. For mothers, whatever kind of person they want their children to be, they have to become that person first. 1. Lead by example and play the role of role model. Ask yourself to do it before asking your children. There is no education method more powerful than role modeling. For example, if you want your children to go to bed early and get up early, you have to go to bed early and get up early first; if you want your children to fall in love with learning, you have to put down your mobile phone first. 2. Work together to formulate rules and establish appropriate disciplinary mechanisms. Mom canChildren discuss and develop family rules or study plans together and supervise each other. This can not only make children feel respected and understood, but also cultivate their sense of responsibility and self-discipline. Positive motivation, affirmation of children\’s self-worth There is a \”bowling effect\” in psychology: two bowling coaches each trained their own players, and the players only knocked down 7 bottles. The difference is that one coach was furious: \”What did you do? You\’ve been practicing for so long and you still end up like this?\” The other coach smiled and encouraged: \”You\’re doing well. You can defeat 7 of them. I believe you.\” It will get better and better.\” The results can be imagined. The performance of the players who heard the praises continued to improve, while the players who heard the criticisms played worse and worse. This is human nature, as the philosopher James said: \”The essence of human nature is the desire to appreciate. This is especially true for children. Appreciation can make children grow into towering trees, while devaluation can make children wither and deformed.\” Still remember the classic \”roast\” Sweet Potato Boy\’s conversation with his mother? \”Mom, what if I get admitted to Tsinghua University?\” \”Then Mom will be proud of you!\” \”What about if I get admitted to Peking University?\” \”I\’ll be very proud too.\” \”What about if I get admitted to Digua?\” \”If you roast the sweet potatoes until they are fragrant, soft, sweet and delicious, I will be proud of you!\” \”Then I will be a roasted sweet potato boss from now on!\” \”Hahaha! Congratulations on your new wish, baby \”Ah!\” British educator Spencer once said: \”When a child feels loved and trusted, a miracle will soon appear in front of you.\” A mother who truly loves her children will never be stingy in encouraging her children. This kind of justice. Motivating children will make them more confident and identify themselves more. 1. See your children’s progress and encourage them to try new things. Every child longs for recognition and praise from his parents. As mothers, we must have a pair of eyes that are good at discovering advantages, see the growth of our children, let them feel their own value and importance, and face challenges and difficulties with more confidence. 2. Make your compliments meaningful and avoid empty \”you\’re great\” clichés. When praising your child, be specific about your child\’s efforts and achievements. For example, \”I see you insist on practicing piano every day, you are so perseverant\”; \”You finished your homework so quickly today, mom is proud of you\”… Such praise can make the child feel the mother\’s meticulousness towards him and inspire him. The child’s intrinsic motivation. Set goals and plan the future with your children. Some time ago, I saw a mother sharing her educational experience in the circle of friends. Her son is only in the third grade of elementary school, but he already has an English vocabulary of more than 5,000 words. She said that her son particularly liked \”Harry Potter\” and had read both the book and the movie several times. After watching it, he said he wanted to learn English and study in the UK in the future. Naturally, she was very supportive, so she set a goal with her child, starting with memorizing basic words. She would also watch some English TV series and movies to develop her language sense. She said: \”Having a clear goal has a really great impact on children. He used to go out to play when he came back from school. Now he practices English when he comes back and relaxes after completing his daily tasks.\” Talmud \”If a ship doesn\’t know which port to sail to, thenSo the wind blowing from any direction will not be a tailwind. \”Children without goals can only follow the trend and take one step at a time, which is likely to lead a mediocre life. Children with a clear direction will actively walk on the road to their ideals and flourish step by step. In helping children set When setting goals, mothers can refer to this SMART principle: 1. Specific: The goal must be clear and specific, not vague. For example, it can be to get to the top in the final exam, or to be admitted to xx university, but not this semester. Empty words such as improving grades and getting into a good university. 2. Measurable: The goal must be quantifiable and the results can be seen in the short term. For example, how many points should you advance in the monthly exam? 3. Achievable: The goal must be based on the actual situation and cannot be too high. For example, if you were ranked 50th in the grade before, the goal can be set to the top 30 in the grade, but not directly to the first place in the grade. 4. Relevance ( Relevant: The goal must be related to other long-term goals and have a final vision. For example, studying hard is to improve your grades and get into your ideal university. 5. Time-bound: The goal must be clearly accomplished. The time cannot be changed at will unless there are special circumstances, such as the different rankings of monthly exams, midterms, and finals. Kazuo Inamori said in the book \”Mother\’s Teachings Changed My Life\”: \”There is a \’lazy mother\’. What a happy childhood. Only when parents are lazy can children be diligent and develop themselves better and find their own way. \”Raising children is a practice. It doesn\’t require too much effort, but it requires a lot of heart. Click \”Like\” and hope that all mothers can learn these 5 routines, be a \”lazy mother\” and raise excellent children!