The 6 most annoying things that parents say to children. Saying less will make the parent-child relationship more harmonious.

We all know that it is not good to scold or yell at your children when your emotions get the best of you. But they often overlook that many daily words, seemingly casual, contain a lot of emotions and attacks. When children feel these emotions and attacks, they will feel inexplicable anger and irritability, but they can\’t say anything. As time goes by, internal injuries will occur and the relationship with parents will gradually drift away. Parents are still confused: I rarely yell at my children. I care about my children very much. How could this happen? If parents say the following sentences often, this situation will easily occur. Let\’s see how many you win – Look at others. Example: Look at others, then look at you. How come others can do it, why can’t you? This sentence may rank first on the child\’s disgust index. Let alone children, everyone hates being compared to others. Have you ever seen an adult say: \”Look at how beautiful she is, why don\’t you know how to take care of her?\” \”Look at how much money she can make, and then look at you.\” This is obviously a fight. Rhythm. 6980 Yuan Zhang Guowei\’s Comprehensive Parent-Child Relationship Skills Recording + Handouts + Quick Notes But parents have no scruples in using other people\’s children to \”motivate\” their own children, and they also expect their children to learn from others. There is nothing wrong with setting an example, but the premise is to inspire children\’s ambition, not shame. \”Look at others\”, the implicit meaning of this sentence is: you are too bad, you are not as good as others, you are not good. There was also a hint of disgust. The result is that the child\’s rebellious psychology and frustration are successfully aroused, and the anger has nowhere to vent. Those who are weaker at heart listen silently and feel sad secretly. Those who have a stronger heart will directly reply: Then you go and become someone else’s mother! Talking too much will break the pot: I just can’t do it! Regardless of the reaction, one thing is the same – if you say this all the time, your child may actually think: I\’m just not good enough. I said it a long time ago, similar sentence pattern: Look, what I said. How many times have I told you, but you just don’t listen, now you know. Many parents can\’t help but add this sentence after their children stumble. Maybe the original intention is to let the children remember the lesson and listen to their parents more in the future, but no matter how they listen, they have a vague victor\’s attitude: If you didn\’t listen to me in the first place, you must have fallen into a trap. If you go over things objectively with your child and sum up your experience, your child may accept it calmly. But if parents use such words to try to make their children reflect, they will only arouse the child\’s sense of shame. In order to escape this uncomfortable feeling, children will express strong anger and rebellion: So what if you are right? I just don\’t listen! The result is that a good review opportunity instantly turns into an emotional confrontation. Adults are still puzzled and often say the following sentence – I am not doing it for your own good. Example: I am doing it for your own good. I spank you and discipline you, not for your own good. I don’t care about other people’s children when they ask me to control them. Parents often say this, which probably means two things: 1. Parents often cross the line to interfere with their children and impose their will on their children. 2. It sounds like it’s good for the children, but in reality it’s about meeting your own needs. Just like the more a person advertisesWhat you don’t care about is actually what you care about more. Parents who are truly good for their children rarely say \”for your own good\”. Moreover, if you look closely at this sentence, you always feel that there is some sense of moral kidnapping – I am a parent, can I still harm you? You have to understand my painstaking efforts. When saying this, parents often look sincere. This will make children feel invisible family pressure: they clearly don’t want to listen to their parents, and they clearly feel that their parents are doing something wrong, but they can’t say anything. If you retort again, it seems that you are heartless and unfilial. This feeling of depression makes the child very irritable, and he wants to yell: Can you stop being so nice to me? ! I used to… Example: When I was your age, I had already cooked for adults, unlike you, who was still waiting for your parents to cook for you. Back then, I always walked to school on mountain roads, even if it was windy or rainy. It was not like you, who had to drive to and from school every day, and had to rush for a long time to get out of bed. When I was in sixth grade, I went out to sell popsicles to earn pocket money. You didn’t even dare to buy something by yourself. When I was a child…Of course, parents often couldn\’t say the second half of the sentence, but the meaning was already obvious, and as long as the children were not stupid, they could figure it out. The subtext of such words is: [Must-see for parents] Zeng Shiqiang’s Comprehensive Parent-child Relationship Skills, 24 episodes 1.2G. I can endure hardship, why can’t you? What I can do, you must do too. If you can\’t do it, it means you are too squeamish, weak, and worthless. It seems that he has strict requirements on the children, but what the children feel is a crushing feeling of moral superiority and a kind of unreasonableness. The result is that it successfully arouses the child\’s disdain, anger and resistance: You are you, I am me, why should I be like you? Times are different, why should we compare like this? There is also a vague sense of frustration. Because it seems that no matter how hard I try, I can\’t surpass the \”glory\” of the past in my parents\’ words, so I simply break the pot and say: That\’s it for me, what can you do? Interestingly, dads seem to say this more than moms. It may be that fathers are more likely to be intoxicated in the pride of the past (whether exaggerated or not), and their thinking is not as flexible and flexible as mothers, and it is easier to stay in the stereotype of \”this was the case decades ago, and it should be the same now\” in mode. You know how to play all day long, what else can you do? Example: You know ( ) all day long, what else can you do? The brackets can be replaced with: playing games, eating, sleeping, dressing up, reading leisurely books, talking back… This sentence is another slap in the face, directly denying the child\’s efforts and dedication, making the child feel that he is worthless, every pore All filled with frustration. The child may not talk back to you. This is such a comprehensive blow that people don’t know where to refute, so they simply say nothing. If you want your child to become useless, you might as well say this sentence more often, because he will gradually agree with what you say. Do whatever you like, I don\’t care. This sentence doesn\’t seem to have obvious emotions like the previous sentences, but it is also very lethal and belongs to cold violence. Its subtext is: If you don\’t listen to me, I will cut off the connection with you. That means, I don’t want you anymore, so you can fend for yourself and fend for yourself. Children are naturally attached to their parents, and their biggest fear is to be abandoned by their parents -—Even on a psychological level. Therefore, this sentence seems to be a concession, but in fact it is coercion and releases a kind of indifference: I love you with conditions. If you do not meet my conditions, I will not love you. In order to continue to receive the love of their parents, the child is likely to do what the parents say, but in fact, the child is already hurt. This is when the child is young. When the child is older and capable, he may no longer accept coercion – just ignore it, whatever you want. Faced with the child\’s determination, the parents\’ tactics failed and they were very hurt: Wasn\’t this child very obedient when he was a child? How did he become like this? If we get to this point, both sides will suffer. How many of these words have you hit? Recommended scientific parenting books. I really hope my parents have read this book and download the electronic version. None of us are perfect parents. When we get emotional, we will inevitably say something indiscriminately, and we have said similar things more or less. However, when we realize how harmful these words are to our children, we need to keep our mouths shut and say as little as possible. Before blurting it out, be aware of it and see what emotions and inherent patterns are hidden in this sentence. What do you want to express? Don\’t say, \”I just said it casually\” or \”I didn\’t do it for the sake of the child.\” Answer these two questions honestly and pause for a second or two. You may swallow this sentence and replace it with more constructive language and a more positive way of expression. It\’s not easy to keep your mouth shut, but it\’s worth it. If you practice more, the parent-child relationship will become more harmonious. After all, we really do it for our children’s benefit.