The armor of a child’s life comes from emotionally stable parents

Parents\’ emotional stability is of great significance to their children\’s growth. Emotionally stable parents can create a safe and warm environment for their children to grow up. When children face difficulties and setbacks, they will not panic or get angry, but provide support and guidance with a peaceful attitude. When children face challenges, they have enough courage and confidence to face them because they know that their parents are their most reliable backing at all times. In such an atmosphere, children learn how to deal with stress and bad emotions, and become mentally tough and calm. Parents\’ stable emotions are like a child\’s solid armor throughout his life, protecting him from the storm. How much harm can parents who cannot control their emotions do to children? Huang Xingzhen, a popular science writer on child psychology, said: \”Raising children is a practice, and what is practiced is the emotional wisdom of parents. Those parents who yell will always miss teaching their children how to manage their emotions. opportunity. \”If parents don\’t pay attention to emotional management, it will harm their children\’s lives in the long run. This is a story about \”The Wind and the Sun\”: The Wind and the Sun compete to see who can take off a passerby\’s clothes. The wind blew fiercely, causing passers-by to wrap their clothes tightly. The sun came out with a smile, shining with warm sunshine. Passers-by felt very hot and quickly took off their clothes. This story tells us: inner change is the real change. To change the heart is like the wind and the sun competing to take off a person\’s clothes. The whistling north wind can only make people wrap their inner clothes tighter. Losing your temper is actually a way to close the door to your heart. Research shows: Tantrums have two vicious cycles. One is the formation of a bad parent-child communication model. We often see that the more naughty the child, the more tempered the parent; the more angry the parent, the more difficult it is to control the child. Second, the vicious circle is long-term. The relationship pattern of the original family is likely to be carried over to the family when the child becomes an adult, and the bad relationship pattern becomes \”passed from generation to generation\”. Therefore, some families always speak warmly to their children, and their children whisper and learn to be courteous; some families are always furious, and everyone is full of negative energy. Children are the mirror of their parents, and parents are their first learning objects. Children don\’t like to be scolded or beaten, but they have no right to choose. Therefore, even though he feels very hurt, he often deeply believes that \”children cannot be effective if they are not beaten\” as an adult. It is very likely that he will bring this bad parent-child communication model from his original family to his new family, forming a \”family\” Tradition\”. Therefore, parents should never use losing temper, beating or scolding as a choice to discipline their children. Parents\’ stable emotions are the armor for their children\’s life. Parents who manage their emotions well are the best education for their children, and they are also the strongest armor for their children. John Gottman said: \”The ability to perceive and control emotions is even more important than IQ. These abilities determine a person\’s achievements and happiness in all areas of society, including the happiness of the family.\” Therefore, parents are stable The emotion is the greatest luck in a child’s life. In the family, how should we control our emotions when faced with children\’s problems? Emotional Control Method 1: Husband and wife act as \”psychiatrists\” for each other. If you want to act as a psychiatrist for your lover, that is patience.Listen with your heart, affirm the other person\’s emotions during the listening process, repeat the other person\’s feelings, and let his emotions be vented. This method is called empathy in psychology. Sometimes, when your lover is driven crazy by a child, just giving him a firm hug, and patiently listening to and affirming his emotions can bring him unprecedented \”understanding\”. Similarly, when a child makes a mistake or is wronged outside, the first thing parents do is not to criticize or scold, but to listen and affirm their emotions. Only after the child has dumped out the garbage in his heart can he pretend to be your reason and reason. Teaching. Emotional Control Method 2: Abdominal Breathing The simplest way to regulate and control emotions is abdominal breathing. Abdominal breathing is also called diaphragmatic breathing. When exhaling, the diaphragm will rise higher than usual, so you can breathe deeply and exhale more carbon dioxide that is easy to stagnate at the bottom of the lungs. Abdominal breathing is a breathing method often used in yoga, psychological hypnosis, etc. It is also a universal emotional adjustment switch. 20 deep breaths are enough to adjust an angry person to a calm rhythm. Once a person calms down, many words that are spoken without going through the brain now have time to pass through the brain and heart, and then flow out gently and kindly. Emotional control method three: Positive pause to calm down. Positive pause is a method of individual psychology. That is, when anger is on the verge of breaking out, leave the scene and stay in a place where you feel comfortable and relaxed for a while, and then continue to solve the problem. Positive time-out is not a punishment, but a method of emotional transformation. Active suspension corner can be a study room, a bedroom, or a balcony. Go and stay in a cozy little world for a while and make yourself feel better! Wait until you feel better and regain your rational mind before dealing with the problem. There is no perfect education and no perfect parents. However, we can work together to be emotionally stable parents and excellent parents.