The best love I can give you is companionship

A few days ago, a mother left me a message saying that she had been busy doing business recently and had not taken care of her children. Suddenly she found that her son seemed to be a different person and was always unhappy. Why is the child unhappy? Because he is always messy, unreasonable, crying at every turn… a series of accusations and dissatisfaction. Wait, are kids really like this? In fact, if you stay with your children and understand them, those so-called problems will disappear in the long-term companionship. However, you are absent from your child\’s growth, but you always look at your child as a judge. At this time, love is absent and your heart is confrontational. I remember that when my son was more than two years old, he often stayed at his grandma’s house in the countryside. I only went back to see him on weekends. Every time we get together for a short period of time, it is not always wonderful. I feel that this child is far from the child I imagined. How did that happen? In the regrets after losing my temper, after communicating with friends, I kept reflecting and reading books late at night to study. Finally I understood: The child is still the same child, but I don’t understand him. Why do children get angry? Why lose your temper? Why do you curse? Why do you lower your head and not say hello to anyone? When parents begin to reflect, will the series of dissatisfaction and accusations turn into a series of question marks? At this time, the relationship between children and parents will gradually become harmonious, because a parent who is willing to learn and reflect will slowly understand his child. In the past two years, the song \”Where Has Time Gone?\” made us think deeply about our lives. What is the most important? There is also a very popular saying: \”Dad, if you don\’t stay with me, I will grow up.\” It touched me deeply. I have been thinking about raising children by myself, because I like to be with children very much, like to watch their every move, and like to explore the big secrets inside their small bodies. But the pressure of life is always there. A man will not be accepted and understood by society if he has a family but does not start a career. So when I mentioned this idea to my friends, they all thought it was unbelievable. If you give up a good job and go home to take care of your children, isn’t this a waste of time? You are too idealistic. I said, \”Being a good father is the most important thing for me right now. I\’ll talk about other things later. My children need me in the past few years.\” \”Bless you, dreamer,\” my friends joked. When I told my parents, they thought I should continue working because after all, I have to support my family, and there is always a gap between ideals and reality. And when I held my child\’s hand and played in the park on the weekend, it seemed very different, because it was the elderly and mothers who held their children\’s hands. But I quit my job without hesitation and went home to spend time with my children. When I started spending time with my son every day, I found that some of my son’s previous problems slowly disappeared. In other people\’s eyes, I know those problems must exist. Because children change slowly, but parents who are learning change more. I can see him changing day by day and encourage him. On the way up the mountain, I encouraged him not to give up; when he lost his temper, I tried to be tolerant and understanding, and guided him to adjust his emotions. Many mothers will say that their children have a bad temper. Regardless of their age, children will have tempers. You must not treat them like this.Because the child always calls you sweetly with a smile on his face. One of the advantages of us humans compared to other animals is that we have rich emotions. Our bodies are not as strong and powerful as many animals. Therefore, we need to accept our children’s tantrums just like we accept our own emotions. It’s as natural as accepting the weather, rain or snow. Emotions cannot be suppressed. Suppression will harm the child\’s mind. Long-term suppression will form a distorted personality. In the process of accompanying you, you will find out why your child loses his temper. I believe that you have really observed your child attentively. If you are a sensitive and hard-working parent, you will definitely not make your child always unhappy, and you will not always make your child unhappy. There is endless quarrel over the same issue. For example, sometimes my son likes to be alone and doesn\’t want to go downstairs. Sometimes the old man will ask him to go downstairs. Even calling him many times has no effect. Instead, he will scream in anger. I know he\’s minding his own business, either reading a book, or building a toy, or drawing, or even if he just wants to sit on the floor a little longer. Then give him some time and tell him, \”Baby, we\’ll go downstairs in 5 minutes. Get ready first.\” At this time, he will be very cooperative. Why do children always have a bad temper and are always unhappy? It\’s because his parents don\’t understand him. Let’s try to think about it. You are in the company and you originally planned to complete what you planned or were busy with, but your boss keeps asking you to do other things. Would you be very happy? Isn\’t it true that you are just reluctant to be happy because you are afraid of losing your job? Without companionship, a child\’s little heart is like a maze that you can never walk into and just get lost in. A mother said in the group some time ago that she really regretted it. Because I was deceived into working as a cosmetics agent for half a year, I left the child with my mother-in-law and did not take care of it myself. As a result, after half a year, the child seemed to be a different person. He had to do everything with his grandma. No one could criticize him. He would cry whenever he was told. At home, he was like a little princess. When he went out, he was the one with the lowest self-esteem. He would not talk to him at night. Go to sleep and stop reading picture books and stories. She said that several times, her daughter came to her who was looking at her mobile phone with a book: \”Mom tells a story,\” \”Mom doesn\’t have time,\” \”Mom, I want to listen to a story.\” \”You didn\’t see me busy, I\’m so busy every day. Isn\’t it just for your own good?\” His emotions suddenly got out of control, and he vented his grievances and pressure of being slaughtered for hoarding goods on the little child. As a result, the child was frightened and cried on the spot. I never mentioned reading a book after that, and I didn’t dare to bother this volcano mother. Parents can actually teach their children, because there is no rule without rules. But children can accept the punishment after a foul, and there is no reason to accept their parents\’ emotional venting. No one is born to make you a punch bag. So after thinking deeply, she reluctantly cut off those so-called careers and began to embrace the children in front of her again. After all, time waits for no one. Children grow up so fast, but parents grow up too slowly. Many people have grown up before their children understand what it is like to be a parent. Nowadays, you can ask random people, \”Why are you working so hard to make money instead of spending time with your children?\” The standard answer is \”The best love for children is to work hard to make money and work hard to create a good environment for them.\”Superior material conditions. \”But what does the child need? Just ask. The child\’s answer is: \”Mom and Dad\’s company.\” It will never be a luxury car, a big house, or a pile of money. This is the most real answer, because the arrival of the child is I came to my parents. Money can never represent love, and toys cannot make up for companionship. My ideal life is to spend time with my family, just have books, wine and meat. If possible, I will open an ideal bookstore in the future for people to rest. Soul, rest your soul. I am just an ordinary father. I hope to be able to draw a beautiful stroke of childhood for my children in the hurried years of life. Growth is irreversible, and when your children grow up, they will not let you grow up again. I don’t want to be an outsider. I believe I won’t regret it in the future. I stayed with my child during the years when he needed me most. Because the best love I can give my child is companionship. Some decisions It always takes courage, and some roads always need someone to walk.