The best way to let your child grow is to let him find himself

Liu Yong, a famous best-selling author, is also a successful father. His son Liu Xuan is a Ph.D. from Harvard University, and his youngest daughter Liu Yifan graduated from Columbia University, an Ivy League school in the United States. In terms of education, Liu Yong has his own unique and distinct concept of \”educating children\”. There is a classic line in Spider-Man that I believe many people still remember: With great power comes great responsibility (With great power comes great responsibility). This is for people who have gained powerful abilities, but for an immature person, For children, this sentence should be said in reverse: the greater the responsibility, the greater the ability. As the saying goes, \”The children of the poor become rich early\”, isn\’t that what it means? Therefore, people mature not in \”love\”, but in \”giving\”. And the more you give to others, the more you will care about them, and the easier it will be for you to grow. Today we will take a look at how Liu Yong helps his children mature. Do you know why children become rebellious? Is that because he can\’t find where he is? \”Do you know why I was so rebellious in high school?\” Liu Xuan said to me, \”Because I feel that when I grow up, I shouldn\’t listen to you for everything. So if you tell me to go to the left, I will go to the right. I have My own thoughts, I should find where I am!\” \”Have you found it?\” I asked him. \”Still looking.\” Then he tilted his head and said unconvincingly, \”Because you won\’t let me look for it myself!\” \”How are you going to look for it yourself?\” \”Go wandering.\” He said loudly, \”You You know? I have a classmate, a British aristocrat, who graduated from Eton High School. At Eton, everyone usually wears a tuxedo, so the rules are strict enough! But last year, he went to Australia alone to shepherd sheep. I have two more My classmates went on a self-guided trip to India with a backpack this year. I just received a call from them, saying that they finally came back alive. As soon as they arrived in India, they encountered heavy rain. The water on the street was up to their knees, and human feces and urine were floating everywhere. They had vomited and had diarrhea for two weeks, and they even went to live on an uninhabited island for a few days. It was so enjoyable!\” \”Extremely enjoyable? They almost died!\” \”Of course it\’s fun, after all, this is Their own travel is not about following their parents, staying in big hotels, riding in black cars, and eating in big restaurants. They are looking for their own identity, and they found it!\” I was startled for a moment, then smiled: \”Okay! This summer vacation will be left to you. You, go find it yourself! It just so happens that this year we are raising funds for the Tainan Delan Enlightenment Center. If you are interested, you can go to the event by yourself. You don’t have to give a speech with me anymore, you can take the lead entirely by yourself! You don’t have to live there either At home, find a place to live by yourself!\” I emphasize again, \”It\’s up to you to decide whether to go or not, it has nothing to do with me!\” You may not be able to escape the shadow of others for the rest of your life, but the most important thing is to never live In one\’s own shadow. In the early morning of June 20, Liu Xuan took a flight to Taoyuan Chiang Kai-shek Airport. I didn\’t pick him up, so he took a car to Taipei by himself, then got on a plane to Kaohsiung at noon to give a lecture at Wenzao Language School. Then he rushed to Tainan for a meeting with Shui Changliu Company, which hosted the fundraiser, and took the last flight back to Taipei. He was probably too tired the day before, and his faceThe sex was not good, so I asked him how he felt about going out alone. He actually looked unconvinced and said, \”It\’s strange! Everyone calls me Liu Yong\’s son. Why do I always have to live in your shadow? I still don\’t have myself!\” I smiled again and patted him: \”Remember! You may never be able to escape the shadow of others for the rest of your life, but the most important thing is to never live in your own shadow.\” Two days later, he had lunch with me. \”Have you found yourself?\” I asked him. \”You call me on BB Call all day long, how can I find myself?\” He still had the same expression, \”Can you stop asking me where I am all day long? I am already 22 years old!\” I thought about it, but Isn\’t it? He is about to graduate from college, and I am already married at his age. From that day on, I never checked his whereabouts again. Later I learned that during the month he was in Taiwan, he spent most of the time in Tainan. In addition to giving lectures in schools, she also went to the Ruifu Educational Center for internship and then to the Delan Educational Center to do volunteer work. What surprised me even more was that when he and I were invited to hold a symposium at the Tainan Municipal Cultural Center, he actually led a dozen volunteers to perform a dance. Not only did he return to Taiwan from New York, he also fully integrated into that society and even learned a lot of local dialect. The best way for a young person to find himself is to let him actively participate in society, care for others, and contribute himself. What makes me most happy is that he said that he no longer lives in my shadow and he has found himself! I will never forget his closing remarks during the discussion at the Cultural Center on July 10. He mentioned his days in Yujing Township and the group of mentally retarded children. When he talked about the day he left Delan, watching the children\’s transportation bus drive away and the children waving to him, he actually burst into tears on the stage in front of an audience of more than 4,000 people. And the man who always had one or two cents with me and cared about pocket money actually donated all the 70,000 yuan he earned in Taiwan to the Guanyin Line in Delan, Tainan and Kaohsiung. Back in New York, the whole family felt that he had suddenly matured, became more polite, and cared more about his family. On Father\’s Day, he gave me a neck massager and gave my father-in-law a pair of headphones for listening to music. When we want to take him to the Great Adventure Park, he would rather stay at home with his 80-year-old grandma. What’s even better is that he no longer “calculates pennies” with me. His mind became wider, as if the world was wider. I suddenly realized that the best way for a young person to find himself is to let him actively participate in society, care for others, and contribute himself. Because only mature people know how to care, and only independent people can contribute. People do not mature in \”love\”, but in \”giving\”. And the more you give to others, the more you will care. As parents and teachers, we We often forget that our children and students have grown up and no longer need our scolding and supervision.