The biggest failure in life is the failure of children’s education

I once read a questionnaire survey from a research institution: \”Who do you respect the most?\” In the minds of American children, the number one person is their father, the second is Jordan, and the third is their mother; in the minds of Japanese children, the number one The first is also the father, the second is the mother, and the third is Sakamoto Ryoma (the hero of the Meiji Restoration); but in the minds of Chinese children, the result is just the opposite, the father is ranked last (10th), and the mother is even more Got to No. 11. A newspaper commented on this at the time: \”Many Chinese parents think that they are the best family educators in the world, but they cannot prevent their status in the minds of their children from declining.\” Children\’s family status is getting worse and worse. The higher you get, the humbler your parents become. Many parents are puzzled. They clearly devote all their love and energy to raising their children, but why do their children not understand their good intentions and respect themselves at all? Let me share 3 stories with you first, maybe we can find the real answer from them. 01The first story takes place in Jiangsu. One night at around 11 o\’clock, the boy and several of his classmates were still playing and playing at home, unaware that it was already bedtime. The boy\’s father was afraid that other children\’s parents would be worried, so he pushed open the door and reminded the children not to play too late. No one expected that the boy rushed out of the door and punched and kicked his father without saying a word, and he started fiercely and decisively. http://www.doudehui.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/35e5b823f161c69.mp4 The mother persuaded from the side, but the boy turned a deaf ear. At this time, the classmates in the room seemed to hear the quarrel. They came out to apologize and wanted to leave, but were pushed back into the room by the boy. Immediately afterwards, the boy started beating his father again. Seeing this, the grandfather in the next room also walked out of the door, wanting to advise the boy and settle the dispute. But the boy turned a blind eye and even pushed and kicked his grandfather many times. But the boy\’s anger still did not dissipate, and he shifted the target of attack to his father. He locked his father\’s throat, tripped him to the ground, and kicked him violently. Still not satisfied with this, he picked up the drink on the table and poured it all on his father\’s head. The child\’s violent behavior was infuriating, but no one in the family took action to stop it. Even the tall and burly father has always chosen to swallow his anger and let his children beat him and humiliate him. The surveillance camera on the wall recorded this deviant scene, and the dispute lasted for a long time… Below the video, a praise comment was left: \”In a family, if the children dare to speak rudely to their parents, or even directly attack them, the order of the family will be ruined.\” The balance is lost.\” Blind indulgence will only breed rebellious children who do not understand respect and gratitude. 02The second story is about a 17-year-old girl. Growing up, her father always pampered her like a princess. She likes guitar, so her father saves money and enrolls her in guitar lessons. Each class costs seven to eight hundred, but she gave up after studying for a few days. She wanted to study abroad, and her father tried his best to send her to the United States. But she left for a year and then ran awayI went home and said I didn’t want to go. Even though she was so willful, her family never blamed her. However, this time, she just wanted a pair of shoes worth 800 yuan, but her father refused. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! So she started crying and fussing. She couldn\’t accept it. Why didn\’t her father, who always loved her, continue to meet her demands? She picked up the scissors and cut off her father\’s clothes. In desperation, the father called the police for help. He sadly accused his daughter of all kinds of misdeeds… \”This is not the first time that we have cut clothes. Our family has cut them over and over again.\” In fact, doting is not love, but love. kind of harm. I can’t imagine that today my daughter can pick up scissors to cut her parents’ clothes, but where will she aim the scissors tomorrow? 03The third story takes place in a square where people come and go. In the crowd, a 7-year-old boy was holding his mother\’s hand and crying, asking her to buy toys. When the mother refused to buy it, the boy actually slapped his mother and asked, \”Are you going to buy it or not?\” The mother was angry and wanted to walk away, but the son hurriedly stopped her and his tone began to soften. Suddenly, the son violently grabbed his mother\’s hair and threatened her to submit. The mother begged: \”Let go, it hurts.\” At this time, a young girl in her 20s came to the rescue, but the boy shouted \”Get out of here\” and told her to retreat. The boy became more and more arrogant and actually stretched out his hand to pinch his mother\’s throat, causing her face to turn red and weak. The child continued to push his mother towards the toys, but the mother was reluctant. Suddenly, the boy once again grabbed his mother\’s hair cruelly and asked, \”Do you want to buy it or not?\” The mother was helpless: \”Here it comes again, it hurts. Let go, I will just buy it.\” The mother finally compromised and took the He walked towards the toy stall with the child. A farce has just come to an end. The first person a child admires and respects the most is his or her parents. But when you indulge your child once, he will develop a contempt for his parents. As time goes by, this idea will snowball. At this time, it is already too late for parents to properly discipline their children. 043 children, different ages, different genders, but all the same disrespectful and lawless. We all know that in a family, parents are the root and children are the fruit. If there\’s something wrong with the fruit, it\’s probably because there\’s something wrong with the root. If children do not know how to respect their parents, there is often something wrong with their family education. Parents dote on their children, and the children control their parents. Parents have lost their principles and the dignity of elders in the eyes of their children. My neighbor Aunt Man loves her daughter Xiao Ai very much. She has held her in her hands for fear of falling and held her in her mouth for fear of melting since she was a child. And Xiao Ai lived up to expectations. She often won championships in various competitions at a young age, and her grades were among the best in the class. Her neighbors were full of praise for her. One day, a group of children were playing in the children\’s playground downstairs in the community, and Xiao Ai also had a great time. It was getting late, and Aunt Man urged Xiao Ai to go home for dinner. For the first time, Xiao Ai pushed Aunt Man away and said, \”Don\’t bother me, get out of here.\” Aunt Man was very embarrassed. After urging for the second time, Xiao Ai actually shoveled a handful of sand and YangAuntie Man\’s face was full of laughter. \”Why are you so annoying? Can you please leave me alone?\” I was so surprised that I couldn\’t speak when I witnessed this scene. But Aunt Man didn\’t care: \”As for the child, it will be fine when he grows up.\” Later, I heard that Xiao Ai was admitted to a prestigious university, but she still yelled at Aunt Man and had no respect at all. A mother tries her best to care for and please her child, but the child treats her like dirt, despises her, insults her, and bullies her. How sad! The biggest failure in education is that you put all your efforts into caring for your children, but fail to win a little respect from them. There are too many children, and they all live in a \”responsive\” family. When a child demands too much and the parents give in, the result is often that the child takes advantage of the situation and climbs over their parents to do whatever they want. Professor Li Meijin, a parenting expert, said: \”If your child doesn\’t meet his requirements when he is 3 years old, the most he will do is roll around on the floor; but when he is 15 years old, he may self-mutilate, commit suicide and quarrel with you; but when he is 20 years old, he may They will resent you and even attack you.\” Education is often about subtle things. A child who does not know how to respect his parents will not appreciate everything his parents have done for him, nor will he cherish everything he has now. He will always despise his parents. There is no condition to provide him with a better family background, and there is no ability to support him to see the bigger world. A child who does not know how to respect his parents, no matter how outstanding he is, will be of no benefit to the family and society. 05Writer Mo Yan once said: \”The first thing everyone receives from birth is family education, and the one who is most affected is family education. This kind of education involves both words and deeds. I even think that deeds are more important than words. You live in this family. , your elders, your relatives, how they treat work and treat others, I think it will have a very direct and subtle impact on children.\” If parents don\’t teach, children won\’t understand. Parents should teach by example. How do children respect their parents and elders? A netizen on Zhihu once shared a story: His daughter loves to eat chicken drumsticks, so every time the family cooks diced fried chicken, a whole drumstick will be reserved for her daughter. But he later discovered a problem. His daughter believed that the best thing in the family should be given to her, and she was very rude to her family members. It just so happened that one time my daughter was obsessed with watching cartoons and even called her for dinner several times without any response. He said to his daughter: \”I will only call you for the last time. If you don\’t respect others and let others wait, then there is no need for others to wait for you.\” The daughter remained motionless and nodded perfunctorily. After everyone had finished eating, my daughter arrived late. As soon as he got to the table, he immediately asked: \”Where are my chicken legs?\” In front of his daughter, he took out the chicken drumsticks kept warm in the rice cooker and said, \”Grandma worked very hard today, so the chicken drumsticks should be given to grandma.\” His daughter. Crying loudly, he took his daughter into the house to educate him, conveying these three thoughts: We love you very much, but not everything in the family must put you first; your family takes care of you, and you must respect their kindness to you. Know other people\’s hard work; say \”please\” when asking for help. After coming out of the house, the daughter apologized to her family for speaking too loudly. alsoSince then, my daughter will come over early every time she eats, and she no longer scrambles for chicken legs. A child who knows how to respect his parents is the greatest success of family education. Because from the child\’s attitude towards his parents, you can get a glimpse of how he will behave and treat others in the future. A child whose parents don\’t even take him seriously will inevitably become a carefree person with narrow vision and lack of etiquette when he grows up. Parents are the first learning objects for children to grow up. They must be strict with themselves and control their own words and deeds. Only then can children learn tolerance and love, understanding and respect from their parents. If we respect our children and win their respect, we can nourish our children\’s hearts with good educational concepts, transform them into motivation for them to move forward, and accompany them through the long years of their lives.