The biggest lie in the world: When you give birth to a baby, someone will help you take care of it

In the morning, I received a message from Dandan: \”Sister Yuehua, I am in so much pain. Since going to work, I have found that I spend less and less time with my children. I have been working overtime in the past few days. I don\’t go home until almost midnight every day. The baby goes to bed early. I go out early in the morning, and she often hasn’t woken up when I go out. This morning I finally waited until she woke up, and the child was so happy when she saw me. When I went out, she hugged her tightly. No matter what I say, I can\’t let go. Seeing that I was going to be late for work, I had to push her away and she burst into tears. The moment my mother pushed me out the door, I heard her crying inside, and I couldn\’t bear it. I burst into tears. I felt so uncomfortable and felt so sorry for her! Why can other people take care of work and family and still have their own hobbies? Why can\’t I? I work so hard, find time to take care of my children, and learn to I manage my time and energy, but in the end, my career and family are in a mess, my work is not done well, and my children are not well taken care of. My life is such a failure!\” Dandan\’s words made me feel the same way. Her dilemma is also the dilemma that almost every woman faces after giving birth to a child: she cannot take care of her career and family at all! Before giving birth to a child, who would have thought that life would face the dilemma between career and family due to the birth of a child. When the elders forced marriage to have a baby, they still heard the comfort in their ears: \”Have a baby as soon as possible, it will be good for your health!\” \”You don\’t have to worry about the birth, someone will help you take care of it.\” After the child was actually born, I suddenly discovered that someone was taking care of it. Baby is the biggest lie in the world. From the day a child is born, there are endless things to do and endless worries to worry about. It is impossible to let go and hand your child over to someone else. Even if someone rushes to help take care of me, I still have to worry about it all the time, because it’s my mother! It is the responsibility and obligation of a mother to do everything related to her children well. If she does not do this, even if she can endure the world\’s eyes, how can she endure the condemnation and uneasiness of conscience when looking at her child\’s innocent smile? However, when the focus of life is completely devoted to the child, when the child is well aware of what he eats, drinks, sleeps and sleeps, and when the child\’s needs can be slightly distinguished from the child\’s cry, then he is surprised to realize that the child has become the key to his life. All the hard work and progress in the career and the great success in the workplace are just like a passing cloud. It felt like a piece was missing in my heart, feeling empty, helpless, and accompanied by great uneasiness. Seeing my former colleagues chatting and laughing all day long and talking about all kinds of interesting things at work, when the only topic I could talk about was my children, I felt like an ant in a hot pot, anxious and flustered. What should I do if I am eliminated by society? Before you even think of a countermeasure, your family has already made a choice for you: \”Go to work quickly! You can\’t sit around at home like this all day long!\” \”I don\’t ask you to make much money, but you must at least be able to support yourself. !\” Returning to the workplace with reluctance for her children and confusion about her future, she found that her career and family were in a dilemma. If you devote yourself wholeheartedly to your work, you will inevitably neglect your children. If you focus on your children, you will face questioning eyes from your boss. I couldn’t help but doubt myself: Why am I so bad? Why can others take care of both career and family, but I can’t? No effort? Obviously alreadyI\’m running with all my strength! It’s not that you don’t work hard enough, it’s not that you’re bad, it’s that you simply can’t balance career and family! It\’s hard to balance between family and career. If you work hard for your career, you will more or less neglect your family. If you devote yourself to your family, your career will definitely suffer setbacks. Don\’t say, \”I see the most powerful women who can balance family and career.\” What you see is not equal to the whole life. In life, we can only see the A side of a person, and those hidden pains will not be revealed to outsiders. Those who have a successful career, can raise their children to be polite, well-educated, and have a stable family must have made huge sacrifices behind them. Either you have to sacrifice yourself, the elderly, or your husband\’s career, or you may just look bright on the outside and feel anxious and tired on the inside. For example, for the first two years after Zaizai was born, I had no job and was a bloated, slow-witted housewife who only focused on her baby. Watching Zai Zai grow up day by day, I feel relieved and happy, but also anxious. The pain of a neglected career and the confusion about the future are like a time bomb lurking deep in my heart. Finally, I decided to rent an office near my home and re-enter the familiar industry. I thought I was ready, but when I sat in the office, I realized that the Zai Zai who was cruelly left at home was the biggest concern in my heart. Although Zai Zai was already over 2 years old at the time, he had no separation anxiety and had a very caring sister at home who cared for him wholeheartedly. But I simply can’t devote myself to it, because I want to cherish the most precious first three years of my child’s growth, so even if the office is very close, I only stay for a short time every day before going home. You can imagine this situation. Even if I try to find a balance between family and career, often going to bed at two in the middle of the night and getting up at five in the morning, trying to sacrifice my sleep time to pick up the work I lost during the day, I can\’t save the company\’s failure. The company\’s losses were a mess. At the worst point, my family\’s balance in cash and passbook was only a few thousand yuan. I had no choice but to end the company and return to my family. I took Zai Zai to and from kindergarten every day. During the day when he went to school, I used my expertise to work hard. In the afternoon, when he came home from school, I took him riding a bicycle in the community and running wildly. Instead of trying to balance career and family, and focusing on one aspect of life, life can find balance again. After accepting it calmly, life opened up a new situation. Now, I can finally take care of my career and family. I can send Zai Zai to school and pick him up every morning and evening. At the same time, my career has also opened a new page. All this is just because Zaizai has grown up and become more and more worry-free, and I can spend less and less time with him! So, don’t believe anything: you can take care of your career and family at the same time. None of this is possible when children are young. If you have to take care of your career and family, it would be like walking a high-altitude tightrope without wearing a safety belt. Every step will be frightening. Your child will get sick, the elderly will be in poor health, you will argue with your husband… any slight disturbance may change your life. Fall into the endless abyss. Those who desperately advocate that career and family can be balanced are just standing and talking without pain! So, when faced with career andWhen faced with a family dilemma, what should we choose? You must make a difficult choice and choose the character you most want to be, or in other words, the character you most want to be at this stage. Then, go all out! If you choose family, focus on taking care of your children. Don’t envy those cool mothers who earn millions a year and travel all over the world. Don’t feel like you are being forced to sacrifice for your children. Taking care of your children is your choice. No one is forcing you with a gun. Enjoy the time you spend with your children completely, accompany your children with high quality, and continue to grow yourself in the company. Only such sacrifices are valuable. These times will be the sweetest and happiest times when we look back many years later. If you choose a career, then please use all your energy in the workplace to improve yourself, realize your value, and make your career the pride of your children. Two years ago, a mother told me that she was very distressed. She was facing a great job opportunity. A company gave her a very generous salary and benefits, but the new company was far away and the journey would cost a little more than it does now. times the time. Going to a new company means she has less time to spend with her children. Because of her distress and because she didn\’t want to let her children down, she even had the idea of ​​quitting her job and going home to take care of her children. I asked her what her true thoughts were, whether she really liked taking care of children or whether she liked to work. After giving it some serious thought, she firmly told me that she preferred working to spending time with her children. I told her to put her all into her work and go to the new company. At the same time, we have also found ways to spend quality time with our children after work. After the knot in her heart was opened, this mother found herself in the workplace like a fish in water. Now she is an executive of this company. After work, she strives to seize some fragmented time to provide the most efficient companionship for her children. There is never a balance between family and career, only giving up and choosing. Choose calmly, accept your choice calmly, strive to live in the present, and live your own happiness. This is the best choice!