The biggest scam in education is \”Child, you just need to be happy.\”

\”Happy education\” is a huge scam. I often see this scene at the entrance of the kindergarten: On one side, the child is crying and holding his father\’s hand and saying that he does not want to go to school; on the other side, the mother sheds tears of distress next to him. At this time, two types of parents usually appear, one is the \”soft-hearted parent\” who cries and takes the child home, and the other is the \”hard-hearted parent\” who turns around and leaves the child and hands the child to the teacher. I appreciate the second kind of cruel parents more. Because it is the nature of parents to love their children, every parent can do it, but raising children is a difficult problem for parents. How to raise children who can adapt to society is a lifelong issue that parents need to practice. Writer Hao Jingfang once told such a story. He once went to an industrial park to inspect the progress of a project and asked the company a question: \”What professional qualities do you most value in recruiting college students, or do you think they are still lacking?\” The company replied: \”Many students today have poor ability to withstand stress. , Adverse quotient is not enough, and a small setback cannot be tolerated. At present, we have begun to recruit the \’relaxed generation\’, which is the generation born in 1990 and grew up with a happy education. It is expected that the adverse quotient will be even worse in the future.\” After hearing this, Hao Jingfang said, I fell into deep thought as to what went wrong with the \”happy education\” we strongly advocate. Spencer, the creator of the concept of \”happy education\”, said: The purpose of education is to make children a happy person, and children should be allowed to learn in a happy state. To put it simply: happiness is the means, and the purpose is learning. And what is the happy education that some people advocate? The child does his homework until 12 o\’clock, which is too hard, so you simply help him do it; the child says that he is too tired to draw, so you don\’t let him study; the child is too tired to go to school, so you let him drop out of school. This philosophy puts children\’s happiness first, and learning becomes dispensable. On the surface, it respects the child\’s wishes, but in fact, it condones the child\’s laziness. Obviously, the superficial \”pseudo-happy education\” not only gives children a relaxed childhood, but also gives them lifelong bad habits: low business intelligence and easy to give up… The so-called \”happy education\” is actually A huge scam. Because it only brings cheap happiness to children, but does not tell children how to become an excellent person, and the latter determines whether the child will be happy in the future. In \”Deliberate Practice\”, psychologist Benjamin studied the childhoods of many outstanding figures in different fields and industries. It turns out that when these outstanding figures were children, their parents tried every means to prevent them from giving up halfway. Because they understand that a dissolute boy in childhood will definitely become a humble adult in the future. Parents love their children and have far-reaching plans. Therefore, child, I am more cruel to you now in the hope that you will suffer less in the future. You must know that life is born to endure hardships. If you are bitter now, you will be sweeter in the future. This is the saying that after all bitterness comes sweetness, the so-called bitterness first and then sweetness. Behind every outstanding child, there is a pair of \”cruel\” parents. In fact, compared to the cheap happiness at this stage, the sense of gain and pride after experiencing pain is a more fulfilling happiness. I remember there was such a scene in \”A Family with Children\”part. In the play, the sons Liu Xing and Xiao Yu \”accused\” their mother together, saying that her mother did not cultivate their talents since childhood, otherwise they might become writers, musicians and movie stars… After hearing this, their mother sneered and said: \”This is no wonder When I was a kid, I enrolled you in this class and that class. I wanted you to learn, but you didn’t learn it yourself!” After hearing this, Liu Xing immediately expressed his objection: “I don’t want to learn, so you won’t let me learn! At that time, I still \”Young child, I\’m not sensible yet, aren\’t you sensible too? You should train me and educate me since I was a child, and force me to learn since I was a child…\” The younger brother Xiaoyu next to him nodded in agreement, and the two brothers criticized their mother together. : \”Dereliction of duty, dereliction of duty, such dereliction of duty.\” After hearing what the two brothers said, my mother was speechless. I think as a mother, Liu Mei must feel aggrieved. Being a parent is simply too difficult. On the one hand, everyone tells you: Don’t force your children, happy education is the most important! On the one hand, the child blames you. If I don’t succeed now, it’s all because you didn’t force me in the first place. In real life, many parents are like Liu Mei. They have no time to love their children, so how can they be cruel enough to force them? But there is an unspoken rule in adult society: learn more skills and say less to ask for help. Every time you show weakness, your child may feel regretful. Behind every successful child, there is a pair of \”cruel\” parents. Unlike Liu Mei, Lang Lang\’s father is a \”cruel\” father. In his autobiography \”A Thousand Miles Journey, My Story\”, Lang Lang recorded how his father forced him to practice piano. At first, I practiced piano after dinner until seven o\’clock, then to eight o\’clock, then to nine o\’clock, ten o\’clock or even eleven o\’clock. The walls of the apartment building were so thin that the neighbors, even those in the gatehouse next door, began to complain! Some people even threatened to break his hands if he continued practicing. But his father calmly replied: \”I will call the police! Ignore them and continue practicing!\” Even as a child, his father would ensure that Lang Lang practiced for six hours a day. The other children can watch TV after school. Lang Lang can only watch cartoons during meals. On weekends, other children\’s parents accompany their children to the amusement park. Lang Lang\’s father has been accompanying Lang Lang to practice. piano. After his success, Lang Lang recalled: \”It was a cruel time, but without my father\’s persecution, maybe I wouldn\’t be where I am today.\” Respecting children is important, but happy education does not mean letting go of education. Maybe it’s really hard to push your children, but when your children grow up and have a brighter and more open road than others, you will find that all the efforts are worth it. Real happiness education is not just about satisfying children’s needs for happiness, but also about helping children develop skills so that they have the capital to withstand the ups and downs of future life. My child, I would rather owe you a happy youth than see you become a humble adult. Children often envy the educational atmosphere abroad and say that Chinese children have been too tired to study since childhood. But few people know that behind the relaxed educational atmosphere is a huge trap. Take the UK as an example. Their education system is also divided into public and private schools. Zhihu writer @Braun shared these two schoolsThe difference: Public schools have free tuition and advocate relaxed education. Children only need to complete tasks and they can graduate easily. Private schools are expensive and have strict requirements, and some schools are as competitive as schools in China. Of course, the future destinies of children coming out of the two schools are also very different. 80% of important positions in British society are held by graduates of private schools. One-third of the members of the House of Representatives, half of senior doctors, and more than two-thirds of high court judges come from private schools that only accommodate 7% of the British population. The same situation exists in the United States. Just when we thought every American child was living in \”paradise,\” a piece of data shattered many people\’s dreams. In 2016, 156 graduates of Whitney Middle School, ranked No. 1 in California, received a total of 822 admission notices from 14 Ivy League schools and 250 top-tier schools such as Stanford and MIT. And these outstanding students all have a popular number – 4. What\’s the meaning? \”4 hours of sleep, 4 cups of coffee, GPA 4.0\”. To get a perfect score of 4 points, sleep only 4 hours a day and drink 4 large cups of coffee when you feel sleepy. There is no such thing as overnight fame, it is just steel that is refined over time. When it comes to learning, grades don’t lie, and neither does hard work. If you want to be happy for a while, you have to work hard for a lifetime. It is better to suffer now than suffer in the future. Yuval Harari wrote in \”A Brief History of Today\”: With the evolution of artificial intelligence, sophisticated algorithms, big data and other technologies, a huge \”useless class\” will be born in mankind. Because, with these technologies and algorithms, some people will be \”useless\”. The ultimate mission of parents is to raise children who can adapt to social development. But growth does not happen overnight, it is a process that is bitter first and then sweet. If children are not forced to suffer the hardships of study now, they will definitely suffer the hardships of society in the future. So, be a \”cruel\” parent and \”force\” them when they want to give up a hobby, because if they persist, this hobby may be their ability to make a living. When they want to give up their studies, \”force\” them, because no matter how hard they study, it is not as hard as the hard work of people with low education. The happiness at this stage is not as easy as the ease of life in the future. Be hard-hearted, and when your child is named on the gold medal list and becomes famous, he will definitely be grateful to you.