The biggest sin a parent can commit is overprotecting their children

There is a type of people in society who are of adult age but have not yet been weaned mentally. They are highly self-centered, do not understand social rules, are not sophisticated, lack independence, and lack a sense of responsibility. They have a common name – \”Giant Baby\”. 1. If you don’t let your child suffer, the world will make him suffer. Zhihu netizen Simou was once a \”giant baby\”. In my impression, she almost never went out to play with her friends because her parents stipulated that \”you must return before dark.\” \”home\”, \”cannot take dangerous taxis\”, and activities such as volunteer teaching, internships, and travel are even more out of the question. She has never washed clothes since she was a child, or even entered the kitchen, because her parents thought that their daughter should \”not stick to smoke.\” During the high school holidays, when her peers went on trips or worked part-time to earn extra money, she could only stay at home. Study, read and write at home. The consequences are obvious. Her self-care ability, decision-making ability, and mobility are far behind those of her peers: After going to college, she cried because she couldn’t install a mobile phone card; during military training, she cried all the way because she didn’t know how to pack her luggage; she couldn’t figure out how to get to the road. You have to ask passers-by when taking the bus opposite… This netizen said bluntly: \”I always thought I had grown up, but in fact I have not. All the opportunities I could have grown up were taken away by my parents.\” This sentence, in one sentence middle. The birth of all \”giant babies\” stems from parents\’ overprotection of their children. Loving and protecting children is the instinct of all animals. However, excessive protection by parents prevents children from suffering at all. When children face the world independently, what they will eat will be a bowl of \”bitter fruit.\” Feng Menglong told the fable of \”Kingfisher Moving Its Nest\” in \”An Introduction to Ancient and Modern Tan\”: In order to avoid disaster, kingfishers often build their nests very high at first. After the chicks hatched, the kingfisher loved them very much and moved the nest lower for fear that they would accidentally fall and break it. When the chicks grew feathers, the kingfisher loved them even more and moved the nest lower. In this way, people easily caught the little kingfisher. Han Feizi once said: \”There are no ruthless husbands in a strict family, but a loving mother has a prodigal son.\” \”If you love too much and worry too much,\” your children will develop willful, arrogant habits, and even go astray. A child is like a tree. Only by constantly pruning it as it grows can the tree grow tall and straight. If, because you can\’t bear it, you don\’t cut off the side branches and let them grow wildly, sooner or later the world will cut them off in a more cruel way. The world has always been fair, and only after all the hardships will there be happiness. The sweetness gained without suffering must be returned one day. Parents create a sterile environment for their children, which will only turn the child into a waste in the end. 2. If you don’t let your children endure hardship, they will make their parents endure hardship. Not long ago, a piece of news “A boy from Peking University didn’t go home for 12 years and blocked his parents for 6 years! He even wrote a long 10,000-word complaint” hit the screen in WeChat Moments. The 15,000-word letter is filled with negative words. Wang Meng (pseudonym), the top scorer in science in the college entrance examination, undergraduate at Peking University and master\’s degree in the United States, attributed the root cause of his break with his family to his parents\’ \”excessive care.\” \”My mother has always tended to keep me at home and like to arrange things according to her own preferences.\” Before graduating from high school, almost all of Wang Meng\’s social circles wereAll in the compound of life. I originally thought that by getting admitted to Peking University, I would be able to stay away from my hometown and escape the \”control\” of my parents, but I still didn\’t. \”Just before leaving, my family asked me to call my aunt in Beijing and ask her to take care of me in the future.\” After graduation, after several years of unsatisfactory work, Wang Meng decided to study abroad for graduate school by taking advantage of his English. However, his parents\’ \”care\” followed him everywhere, and they later found an \”old friend\” to take care of him. Around 2012, a long letter of breakup was sent. Wang suddenly blocked all contact with his parents and said goodbye to his \”family\” completely. He stopped contacting his family and barely responded to any messages. In the past 10 years, Wang Meng has only returned home once, and it was a \”routine\” matter – to replace his expired ID card. It was the spring of 2015. The whole trip only lasted 6 hours in my hometown city. I only stayed at home for less than 10 minutes because I needed to get my household registration book from my parents. \”Every Spring Festival, people ask why your son hasn\’t come back. I always say that he is busy in the United States.\” There was sadness and helplessness in Wang Meng\’s mother\’s words. Wang Meng\’s letter may be a real case, or it may be fabricated by the writer as some netizens said, but it has sounded the alarm for current family education. In this extreme example, many people can see their own shadow. Many parents cannot distinguish between love and doting. The essence of love is to give children freedom, tolerance and appreciation, while the essence of doting is over-protection and control. Liu Yong once lamented, \”How many children today want both the freedom of the United States and the love of China. Without the initiative of American children, they have also lost the filial piety of China.\” If a child endures hardship, the child will eventually make his parents endure hardship. 3. The deepest love that parents give to their children is to let go. Yu Dan said: \”All love in this world has the purpose of gathering, and there is only one kind of love that has the purpose of separation, and that is the love of parents for their children, the truly successful love of parents. , is to let the child separate from your life as an independent individual as early as possible. The earlier this separation, the more successful you will be.\” In other words, there is a kind of love called letting go, and parents who do not let go cannot raise them. A child with no future. The documentary \”The Story of the Fox\” has a rating of 8.7 on Douban. It tells the story of a pair of foxes who love each other. After the mother fox becomes pregnant, the father fox forages for food alone without fear. He is bitten by a pack of wolves, but still bears the wounds. Pain dragged back the food and persisted in foraging through the long snowy period. In spring, mother fox gave birth to five cute little foxes. The little fox gradually grew up under the careful care of his mother and father. On the morning of early autumn, the fox\’s parents led the children deep into the grassland as usual. Stopped in a place with lush vegetation and a small stream. The fox parents circled the children twice, and then flew away into the distance without looking back… They cruelly \”thrown\” their children into the unpredictable grassland, but they had already given up their survival. Taught the little foxes their skills. This is true for animals, and even more so for humans. No matter how much they are reluctant to let go, parents must bear the pain and let go, because their children\’s future must be decided by themselves. Only let go, let the children get out of the comfort zone of \”parents\”, so that they can see a broader sky, have a higher vision and a larger pattern. Otherwise, the parent\’s pattern is the child\’s pattern, and the parent\’s height is the child\’s height. A child\’s life is just a repetition of his parents\’ life. Wise parents should learn to let go. In the colorful life, we do not stand down and teach, but stand beside our children, shoulder to shoulder with them, and accompany them through their wonderful journey.