The Buddhist legal system is out, come and be a Confucian mother!

During this time, parents in the circle of friends were frantically retweeting a picture. The term \”Buddhist system\” has become very popular recently, and its counterpart is \”Dharma system\”. After experiencing life and death, this parent successfully transformed from a legal parent to a Buddhist parent. However, faced with the pressure for their children to enter higher education, can this parent really \”escape into Buddhism\”? Can children trained by Buddhist education really adapt to the ever-changing society in the future? The terms \”Buddhist system\” and \”Dharma system\” come from Buddhist thought and Legalist thought. In Chinese history, both Legalism and Buddhism became tools for the ruling class to manage society in a short period of time. However, its shortcomings continued to become apparent and it was quickly abandoned. Eventually, a more adaptable idea dominated Chinese social culture for thousands of years—Confucianism. As a father who graduated from history and switched to psychology, what I want to say is: running a big country is like cooking small dishes, and educating your children well is not as simple as running a country. Good family education must be guided by a correct concept. When educating children, in addition to Buddhism and Legalism, there is actually a more rational choice – Confucianism. The difference between the legal system, the Buddhist system and the Confucian system. Legalist thought: strengthen the monarchy, replace the rule of etiquette with the rule of law, carry out legal and policy education, and use severe punishment to govern society. Legal parents: Authoritarian parents are strong, have a strong sense of right and wrong, use rules to restrain their children, and have strict requirements for their children. Classic quotations: \”You are born by me, so you must listen to me\”; \”You must abide by the rules, without rules there will be nothing\”; \”Effort hardship now, enjoy happiness later\” Buddhist thought: \”Dharma arising from causes and conditions, I say, is empty\” , the four elements are empty, everything is just floating clouds, Amitabha. Buddhist parents: indulgent and neglectful parents, who have no requirements for their children and let everything take its course, whether they have it or not. Classic quotations: \”As long as you are happy.\” \”Children will have their own blessings.\” \”Oh.\” Confucianism: The core is benevolence and propriety. A benevolent person loves others, restrains himself and restores etiquette. Implement \”benevolent governance\” and build a harmonious and orderly society. Confucian parents: love and respect their children, teach their children etiquette and principles in practice, and focus on setting an example. Classic quotations: \”Mom and Dad love you.\” \”Let\’s work hard together.\” \”Mom and dad will always support you.\” The daily lives of parents of the Legal, Buddhist and Confucian parents about eating and drinking: Legal: Stop dawdling, eat quickly, and more Eat some to grow taller (keep picking up vegetables). What a waste of time, let me feed you! Buddhist: Come, let’s eat (put the bowl and spoon in front of the child). (After 15 minutes) I’m not going to eat anymore. Leave it here and go play. Confucianism: The baby is eating! The baby eats it by himself, don\’t spill the rice on the ground. Mommy eats with you, and after dinner we play games together! Regarding diarrhea: Legal system: Why did you pee your pants again? How many times have I told you to tell your mother before you pee? (Disgusted face) Next time you wet your pants, I’ll spank you! Buddhist: Oh, did you wet your pants? This kid… (changes into a pair of pants) Be careful next time and go play. Confucianism: Did the baby wet his pants? Mom will change it for you. What should I say before peeing next time? right! Baby is the best! About throwing things: Legal system: Why are you throwing toys again? How many times have I been told not to throw away toys? Which hand threw it? (Pah! Pah!) Will you throw it away next time? Buddhist: (Looked up and looked at ToudongXi\’s baby glanced at her and continued to look at her phone. ) Confucianism: Baby, the toy car will break. Let\’s throw the ball together. You throw it to your mother and see if she can catch it! Regarding hitting people: Legal system: Which hand hit the person? Reach out! You are still hiding, I will let you hide, hide, hide! Will you fight next time? Buddhist: Don’t hit people. (Take the child away) Confucianism: Tell mom why you hit someone? He snatched the baby\’s toys. The baby felt aggrieved, right? But hitting someone is wrong. Next time the baby comes over, tell the mother, okay? About playing with building blocks: Legal system: Baby, tell mommy what shape this is? There are some in Little P Youyou, yes, they are triangles. what colour is this? What color is it? wrong! The one you met yesterday is red~Buddhist type: (Ge You lies down) Confucian type: What does the baby want to show to mother? Oh, it’s a castle built by babies. You’re so good at building it. Mom, come and build one too. It is not difficult to see that a Confucian mother exudes calmness and wisdom. Who wouldn’t want such a mother? How to be a Confucian mother? \”A benevolent person loves others\” – Intimacy Confucius said: \”A benevolent person loves others, and closeness is the greatest.\” The first \”qin\” means to be close and establish an intimate relationship. The second \”kin\” means relatives. When parents and children love each other and establish a close relationship, this is benevolence. Sadly, many parents in China do not understand how much close relationships can help their children grow up. Buddhist parents do not have high requirements for their children. Children can feel freedom, but they cannot feel the love and dedication of their parents. Legal parents have established a close relationship with their children, but this closeness lacks warmth, so much so that they talk about love and are full of ferocity, which makes the children feel suffocated. Mencius proposed the implementation of \”benevolent government\” and advocated \”the people are valued and the monarch is valued\”, with the goal of making the people live and work in peace and contentment. Confucian parents can understand the value of their children\’s independent personality and are more likely to treat their children well on the basis of an equal relationship. Being a Confucian parent requires you to express your acceptance and love for your child, provide support to your child, and then wait patiently for your child to grow. \”Don\’t do to others what you don\’t want others to do to you\” – It is not easy for parents to understand that they should not impose on their children what they don\’t like. This has happened to many parents: they ask their children to do homework in the study room, but they watch TV in the living room; they ask their children not to lose their temper, but they yell at them; they ask their children to greet people when they see them, but they hide when they see acquaintances. Confucian parents, on the other hand, are empathetic and will not force things on their children that they find difficult. They resent others\’ disrespect for themselves, so they respect their children; they hate the inequality between superiors and subordinates, so they give children equality; they are disappointed that others don\’t understand, and then try to understand their children. Confucian parents understand their children and therefore gain their children\’s trust more easily. \”Self-denial and restoration of propriety\” – Example Yan Hui asked Confucius: \”What is benevolence?\” Confucius said: \”Self-denial and restoration of propriety are benevolence.\” Confucius believed that strict requirements on oneself to practice and realize the truth is the way to realize \”benevolence\”. Parents will teach their children the principles of life, and only if the parents themselves do these principles first will the children do it. How can parents do this? Yan Hui asked Confucius how to restrain himself and return to propriety. Confucius said: \”Don\’t look at anything that\’s not propriety, don\’t listen to anything that\’s not propriety, don\’t say anything that\’s not propriety.Don\’t touch anything that is inappropriate. \”Don\’t see, listen, say or do unreasonable things. Parents are role models for their children not in what they \”do\” but in what they \”don\’t do\”. Every parent has his or her own shortcomings and can overcome them , is already a great role model. If you are not absent, your children will be orderly; if you are not lazy, your children will be diligent; if you are not degenerate, your children will be self-disciplined; if you are not indifferent, your children will be kind. To be a Confucian mother, you don’t have to be like Legal mothers don\’t have to worry as much as Buddhist mothers do, \”life and death are determined by destiny, wealth is in heaven.\” You can face your children elegantly and control your life with an elegant attitude. Confucian mothers, you deserve it!