The child steals things from outside? Your discipline methods will affect his life

A few days ago, a mother left a message saying that when she was sending her son to elementary school, she found two heavy toys in his schoolbag. After opening it, I realized something was wrong because the family didn\’t buy it for him. When she asked the child, he even hesitated and evaded his eyes. At this time, she felt something was wrong, but she was afraid that her abruptness would hurt the child. She held back and wanted to wait until she had a solution. Children are always taught to be honest and kind, not to lie, and not to take other people\’s things. But his own children did this. I think every mother will be at a loss for a while and anxious. Fortunately, the mother was calm enough and did not explode on the spot, but was thinking of countermeasures. Finally I found out that the child was taken from the supermarket downstairs. At that time, I called my mother over, but I didn\’t mention it to her. Maybe there is a misunderstanding. The child thinks that the mother will pay? And what about the kid who forgot to pay? We certainly hope that\’s the true answer. Then you can calm down and think about how to guide your children. You can also patiently observe your child\’s condition. Just before this mother left her message, I also encountered such a thing. Once I picked up my son from school. After returning home, I discovered that he had been holding a small piece of porcelain in his hand. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the porcelain fence of the sandpit downstairs in their kindergarten. The small blue glass tiles are very beautiful. I asked him: \”Where did this small tile come from?\” \”We picked it up in school.\” \”Is it the tile over there in the sand pit?\” He looked at me in surprise, and then said, \”Yes.\” Did you pick it out, or did it fall to the ground by itself?\” \”It fell by itself, and I picked it up in the sand.\” \”That\’s it! But this is something from kindergarten! I think you should give it to the teacher. , maybe they will take it to repair it, be sure to remember it next time!\” \”Okay!\” Then he took it to school again the next day. But in the end I didn\’t ask him. Because I know that when children are in kindergarten, they often bring back some of their favorite things. A friend said that his daughter even dug out a little bit of cotton wool from the kindergarten and took it home to make a quilt for her doll. For three- and four-year-old children, the boundaries between whether something belongs to \”themselves\” or \”others\” are not clear. Especially if their parents haven’t told them the rules yet. Even older children still don’t know whether their actions are correct. Many times they put it in their pocket simply because they like it, and what is brought home is like a small bottle cap picked up from the roadside to the child. But parents still have the responsibility to guide their children and let them establish a sense of property rights. Because the awareness of property rights is unclear, I think that things in this world can be taken at will. The child initially behaves like a small animal. For example, for foxes, they feel that the chickens and ducks they see are their prey. There is no sense of property rights in their world, only the need for survival, and they can catch whatever they want to eat. The same is not true for domesticated animals. For example, a puppy, when it first sees you eating, it wants to jump on your dining table and eat together. But you will teach it the rules, stay on the side and don’t go to the table. After training, it will understandHow to do it. Children also need such guidance and education. Our human society needs to understand right and wrong and have rules. When children have a sense of property rights, they will understand that \”my things belong to me and I have to protect them.\” With this foundation, children can be guided to respect the property rights of others. You can start to understand that \”other people\’s things belong to others, you can\’t take them casually, you have to ask for other people\’s permission.\” \”Things in public places belong to everyone, and you can\’t take them home.\” The basis of all this is that parents respect their children of autonomy. Don\’t force your children to share, because that will only force your children to think that everything is universal. Of course, children will also ask some questions, and we must be patient to answer them. A few days ago, my son took home a small building block piece from the class. This time I was a little more serious. He told me that he picked it up. I said that even if you pick up things in public places, you cannot take them home. At this time, the little guy asked me seriously, \”Dad, what is the difference between picking up and picking up?\” It turned out that he always felt that he was picking up things instead of taking things. \”Let\’s put it this way, if you see an interesting twig on the road, you can pick it up. That\’s okay. But if you see a toy dropped to the ground in the kindergarten, you should put it back where it was, not pick it up. \”Home, this is taking.\” \”If you take it without the consent of others, it is stealing. You know, stealing will be severely punished. When you need something one day, you can tell your parents and teachers .\” We made an appointment to return the things later. That night, I put the small building blocks that my son brought back from school on his schoolbag, and then wrote a message: \”Please remember to send me back to school, thank you! If you want to invite me to your house to play in the future, I will definitely Remember to tell the teacher.\” I still handled this matter carefully. Because what I have experienced tells me not to make a big move. I still remember there was an uncle in our hometown. One special thing about him is that he never looks up at anyone, and it can even be seen that he is deliberately avoiding people. We all thought he was weird when we were kids. Once grandma told a little story about him. He said that when he was young, he stole things in the village and was caught by his father. Then he was tied to a tree and beaten, almost to death. As a result, the whole village knew about him. Since then, he has kept his head down. Now that I think about it, he is not introverted, but has low self-esteem. Because psychology has found that the sense of responsibility established by children\’s guilt and self-blame is a shackles for children throughout their lives. But if it is from the perspective of encouragement, respect, and participation, the child\’s sense of responsibility based on his own personality can become the spontaneous driving force of the child\’s life, and he will follow it from the heart. Therefore, adults must maintain the dignity of children. When your child brings home something from outside one day, or secretly takes your money. Calm down first and look at it from a different perspective. Don’t rush into labeling. Because once the label of \”thief\” is attached, it will be scarred for life. Moreover, many times, adults should reflect on two points: Are there bad role models in the growth process of children? Because many adults even use children as a cover to steal things in supermarkets. Or when buying vegetables at the vegetable market, you take advantage of the chaos and refuse to pay, and then youand left with the child. There are even cases of fare evasion with children. Just for a small profit, let the children witness such words and deeds. Also, please reflect on your usual attitude towards your children when they make demands. In many families, when their children make a request, they immediately deny it. Tell your children a lot of truths, no matter what. As a result, if you don’t give it, he might steal it. Reasonable needs can still be viewed from the child\’s perspective and can be met. For example, if your child has always wanted to buy a certain toy, then agree on the rules (such as how long it will take after buying this toy before you can buy another toy), and take him to buy it generously. As for the child\’s unreasonable needs, let him understand why he cannot be satisfied, instead of surrendering under the pressure of parents using their authority. The world of children is different from what we see. Please put yourself in their perspective and don’t ruin your child’s life because of your own wrong discipline.