The child suffered a slight concussion after hitting someone, and the parent said, \”Who let you get too close?\”

Recently, Qinglanjun saw a \”shocking\” news: In a primary school in Nanning, a sixth-grade boy used an umbrella to hit the teacher in class and gave him a concussion. On that day, Teacher Zhou went to class 3 of Grade 6 for art class. When class was about to end, there was a sudden loud noise from the last row of the classroom. Teacher Zhou followed the sound and saw that the boy Xiao Liao was sitting on the ground because his chair fell to the ground, and his schoolbag and umbrella were also dropped aside. When Xiao Liao straightened his chair, Teacher Zhou walked over and said to him: \”You must abide by the discipline. Sit down, sit down.\” But Xiao Liao did not speak, so Teacher Zhou stretched out a hand to grab his arm. , I want to give him a hand. Unexpectedly, Xiao Liao bent down to pick up the umbrella on the ground and hit Teacher Zhou on the head. The umbrella handle caused Teacher Zhou\’s head and ears to bleed. Teacher Zhou’s ear was bleeding from the blow. The umbrella used by the boy involved when hitting the teacher was diagnosed by the doctor. Teacher Zhou had symptoms of concussion, and his left ear was bruised and lacerated, requiring several stitches. Since the boy involved was under 14 years old and had limited capacity, Teacher Zhou took Xiao Liao\’s parents to court. During the trial, the boy’s father argued: “If you were far away, he wouldn’t be able to hit you. After he cleaned up, he would naturally sit down. The main reason why the teacher was beaten was because she was too close to (my child). It was like When you see that snake, you catch it and get bitten. This is normal.\” The parent\’s argument made Teacher Zhou find it difficult to accept. Teacher Zhou said that Xiao Liao was not impulsive because other teachers had suffered similar abuse before. I believe that many parents and friends will be as shocked as Mr. Qinglan when they see this: The child is not a powder keg, and being near him \”gets angry\”. Why does it become the fault of the victim? Some parents \”protect their children\” to the point where there is no lower limit. Not long ago, a video of a female teacher forcefully teaching a student to protect her naughty daughter was circulated on the Internet. The female teacher brought the child to the classroom. The child made a noise and disturbed the boy who was cleaning. The boy scolded the child verbally. The teacher was furious after learning about the situation and rushed to the classroom to teach the boy a lesson. During this period, the female teacher repeatedly warned the boy not to think of revenge on her child. Although her child was young, she was behind it. She also threatened, \”I am not only from society, I am also from the underworld\”! The female teacher\’s three-year-old child watched indifferently the whole time. I wonder what kind of mark such a mother and such a conflict will leave on the child\’s young mind. Parents who have no bottom line in \”protecting their children\” are fueling the hostility in the entire society. Not long ago in Shenzhen, Kangkang, who was in fifth grade, had an argument with a neighbor girl. When the girl\’s parents found out, they called seven or eight people to beat Kangkang up, and threatened not to let anyone know about it. In a community in Henan, an 11-year-old boy had a sudden idea and tried to do \”stretching exercises\” in a running elevator. He put his foot against the elevator door because the distance between the elevator and the floor was very small during operation. The safety door burst open instantly. Afterwards, the property management company asked the parents to pay for the repair of the elevator, but the child\’s mother said: \”I would say the property management company should also thank my son. If he hadn\’t touched it, something might have happened to everyone while using it!\” In a shopping mall, two people Conflict among children over toys, causing a quarrel between the mothers of both parties, and then the fathers of both parties started fighting. Finally, the accompanying relatives also joined the melee, and the scene got out of control. Coincidentally, a colleague was also very distressed recently. Wine bottles and bricks fell from time to time in the community where he lived, and later even a fire extinguisher dropped. Many residents complained to the property management, and it was clear from the surveillance that these were the crimes of two nine-year-old children. However, when the police came to the door and asked the parents to educate their children, the parents denied it and wouldn\’t even open the door. Neither the property management nor the police could do anything. This scene can\’t help but make people think deeply and fearfully. Once, a 10-year-old boy threw a brick from the roof of a building and killed his female neighbor downstairs. The family of the deceased took the boy\’s parents to court, claiming more than 1.6 million yuan. The tolerance of parents today will eventually turn into the indulgence of children tomorrow. You can protect him for a while, but you cannot protect him forever. When the child enters society, those who once protected him will often become a target for the child, making the child the target of attack and rejection by everyone. Protecting children without distinguishing between right and wrong is actually harming them. But having said that, it is human nature to \”protect the calf\”. No one can remain calm when their own children are wronged, scolded and beaten. Even Li Shimin, the eternal Mingjun of Tang Dynasty, could not pass this level. He \”protects the calf\” like an ordinary father. He believes that the prince will be the emperor in the future and does not need to dismount from the horse and salute according to the rules. For this reason, he had a lot of quarrels with the courtiers. In \”Children of the Sea\”, Mr. Lu Xun once criticized \”two methods of educating children in middle-class families in China\”: one is to let them be domineering without caring about them at all. He is the overlord, he is the overlord. The second is to give him cold treatment or scolding all day long, which is worse than hitting him, making him shrink back, like a slave or a puppet. In other words, blindly pampering and \”protecting the calf\”, or blindly attacking, are not good education, and will make children \”like a spider that has lost its web when outside, and immediately become incompetent.\” No one is a sage, how can he have no faults, let alone a child who has never done anything wrong? Lunacharsky, an educator from the former Soviet Union, said it well: \”Making mistakes is the tuition fee that must be paid to make progress.\” So as a parent, how should we deal with children who make mistakes? Parents should first set an example and bear the consequences calmly. We are often so eager to punish children who make mistakes that we neglect to reflect on our own problems as adults. If you stop a child simply and rudely, the child may not be able to realize the mistake. It is better to act as an adult and calm the matter down first. A couple in Shiyan, Hubei Province did a great job. One day, the couple took their child to the supermarket and just went shopping by themselves while the child played alone. In the promotional area of ​​the supermarket, bags of rice and flour were piled up into hills. The child picked up an iron nail from somewhere and pierced almost all the rice and flour on the hill. After the supermarket found out, they couldn\’t find the child\’s parents and had no choice but to call the police. Finally, the parents came forward, and after negotiation, they agreed to buy all the rice and noodles that had been punctured and packaged, totaling more than 40 bags and costing more than 2,700 yuan. Some people say: Although the children are arrogant, the parents are not arrogant, which is worthy of praise. Some people also say: The cost of educating children is a bit high! In fact, the parent\’s temporary loss will be exchanged for the child\’s understanding of the rules. He will knowParents have the courage to bear the consequences of pranks and establish a sense of principle for their children that cannot be measured by any amount of money. Secondly, when a child makes a mistake, parents must maintain the child\’s self-esteem and do not criticize harshly. If we must protect our children, then what we should protect most is their self-esteem. Dr. James Dobson said that there are thousands of ways to cause a child to lose self-esteem in an instant, but rebuilding self-esteem is a slow and difficult process. When a child makes a mistake, the child himself is often the first to be hurt. The parent\’s irritability will only cause secondary harm, but excellent parents will protect their child\’s self-esteem with love. Qinglanjun has heard such a story: a primary school student went to play alone in a woods after school. It was dark, and the timid child had not walked out of the woods. He was afraid of being attacked by wild beasts, so he climbed up a big tree. Hiding. When the father saw that his child had not come home very late, he went to look for him along the way home from school. In a forest, with the faint starlight in the sky, the father vaguely saw his son hiding on the branch of a big tree. An ordinary parent would have sternly scolded his son to come down, but this father did not do so. Instead, he pretended not to see it and walked around the big tree while whistling. When the son heard his father\’s whistle, he seemed to have found a savior. He immediately came down from the big tree and asked in surprise: \”Dad, why are you here?\” \”I was walking alone, and I didn\’t expect to meet you playing in the tree.\” Oh! But we can’t do this anymore. Why don’t you call me daddy when you go to play in the woods?” It is said that when the child grew up, he entered the military academy for further study and became a brave general after graduation. Finally, and most importantly, parents should adhere to principles and be strict with punishments. A 7-year-old primary school student in Shenzhen was riding a bicycle in a community and knocked down a 3-year-old child. They then went home. After the parents learned about this incident, they criticized the child and guided the child to write this letter of apology: The child had just entered elementary school and could not write some words, so he used pinyin instead. Since he didn\’t know the child who was hit, he wrote 6 letters of apology and posted them at the elevator entrance of every building in the community. The parents thought that it was not enough for the child to write an apology letter by themselves, so the mother attached another apology letter from the parents to the child\’s pinyin version of the apology letter, stating that if the hit baby needed to go to the hospital for examination, they would be responsible for the treatment costs, and attached contact information. The philosopher Bentham said: \”All punishment is evil in itself. It is allowed because it may eliminate some greater evil.\” Let the child suffer some \”sin\” in order to make him a good person in the future. Being a person who knows honor and disgrace, understands etiquette, and is worthy of respect is a compulsory course for every parent. May we all give the best to our children.