The child\’s failure today comes from what you said to him yesterday.

I recently saw a piece of news: A 40-year-old son who is strong but idle asks his old mother for money every day. The old mother, who was over eighty years old, was already blind. She was beaten and kicked by her son when she couldn\’t pay her. The police came to deal with her son. The old woman was very protective of her son and refused to let the police punish her son severely. The old man was beaten 6 times, all because the old man was protecting his son and his injuries were not serious, so the police could only administratively detain the man. This time, the police had no other choice but to arrest him for the seventh time. After seeing this, CCTV Weibo sighed: \”What should the law do to him?\” As a parent, I can\’t help but sigh when I see such news. This old man is now so partial to his 40-year-old son. You don\’t need to imagine how much this mother doted on her son when he was an innocent toddler. When children are young, if we lack a bottom line for their children\’s satisfaction and blindly indulge, then the children who are still growing will gradually develop excessive self-confidence, which is arrogance. What consequences will arrogance bring? Arrogant people have weak psychological endurance, cannot bear blows, are not independent enough, have high vision but low hand, and have no basic judgment. As adults, we always have to live in society. People who are arrogant and have no ability are not liked by others, and they will always feel unsatisfactory everywhere. These dissatisfactions may very well turn into harm to parents in the future, just like the son in the news. Pampering is a sugar-coated time bomb. Today you dote on your child, tomorrow your child may \”mutilate\” the people around you, and the day after tomorrow your child may \”mutilate\” you. I met several female friends when I was studying. During a chat, they mentioned that they always felt that someone was watching them from behind on their way to self-study in the evening. Later, several people followed them separately and caught a senior who was one level older than us. The incident was also reported to the school. The senior who was caught red-handed admitted that he was following several girls, but he didn\’t think there was any problem with following others. He even plausibly said that he was choosing a girlfriend who was worthy of him, so he wanted to investigate clearly. The school invited the senior’s mother over. I originally thought that at this point in the story, the mother, who is also a female senior, would severely criticize her children. Unexpectedly, the female friend was so angry and speechless that she told me that his mother was even weirder. She actually thought it was the glory of the few of us who were being followed. The child is extremely outstanding, and the school has no legitimate reason for calling her here. I asked curiously, \”Did he think he was invincible because he was so good at reading?\” \”Not at all, he was just blindly confident.\” Later, the senior was dropped out of school. If you really love your child, you must support him to gradually become independent. It is a good thing to love your child. If you love your child, you must gradually allow him to become independent and mature. True love should be warm and powerful, leading people upward. Rather than holding him up all the time because of fear of getting hurt, nor just to follow him in everything just to see his smile and satisfaction at the moment. As parents, we should gradually let our children become independent and mature people. The independent maturity here is not only the child\’s independent thinking intellectually, but also supporting him to become a socially mature person. A mature person in society must have a conscience, know how to be grateful, know how to respect others, and know what is right and wrong. These are things that parents should teach their children in addition to learning. howHow to teach children this in daily life? Teaching children to be grateful If we want to teach children to be grateful, we adults should express ourselves and say \”thank you\” to those who help us. Yesterday, I met a young mother on the bus holding her three-year-old child on the bus. A young man gave up his seat, and his mother expressed her gratitude to the young man, while the little girl lay in her mother\’s arms with an expressionless face and no reaction. After the mother sat down, she patiently told her child: Honey, if someone offers you their seat, do you remember what to say? Remember to say thank you to others. I silently praised this mother\’s casual words in my heart. Once I was visiting a friend\’s house, and my friend\’s sister invited us to dinner. During the dinner, this sister served a meal to her friend, and the friend thanked her sincerely. I felt a little strange, so I asked with a smile: \”You are siblings, a family. We are just serving a meal. Do you need to be so polite?\” My friend asked me: It\’s not strange for others to express gratitude to you by serving a meal. Your family will help you. Don’t you need to thank me for serving the rice? I thought about it, and this is true. We all want to thank our family and others for their love, help, and support. To teach children to respect others, we must first respect others, especially our relatives. Most of the time I find that it’s not that we don’t know how to respect others, but that we don’t know how to respect the people who are close to us. Especially when we have different opinions from him or her, we think that this is against ourselves and directed at ourselves. We respect our relatives, but this does not mean that we agree with his views and actions on this matter, nor does it mean that we must do so. Just because we respect our children does not mean that we will obey them in everything. After all, children have the nature of children and the characteristics of their age. If we do not guide them and mistakenly think that respect means obedience, it would be wrong. It\’s like a 10-year-old child telling you, \”Study is too boring, I\’ll go to work for you and I\’ll still have money.\” Parents should respect that he has such thoughts and don\’t need to be angry. They should help him study better and find the joy of learning and life, instead of angrily denying him, or follow him and say, \”Don\’t be so stressed, read.\” It doesn\’t matter if you can\’t read, your dad will support you.\” Let your children know right from wrong and teach them to distinguish right from wrong. Parents themselves must know right from wrong and not protect or favor others. If your friend or relative makes the child cry, for example, telling the child, \”Your mother left you here and wants you to follow me, are you willing?\” or \”Do you love your father more or your mother more?\” , \”Your parents are so smart and powerful, why haven\’t you learned it?\” How would you feel, angry at your friend\’s behavior or amused by your child\’s crying? What would you tell your children, and how would you tell your relatives and friends? Generally, we will only tell our children \”Uncle is joking with you\” for the sake of face, but most of the time children cannot understand adults\’ jokes. In \”Where Are We Going, Dad\”, Huang Lei\’s daughter Duoduo was asked, \”Do you love your father or your mother?\” Duoduo responded seriously: Don\’t ask such a question. In the interview, Huang Lei mentioned that he had encountered such a thing before, so he told Duoduo that what this adult did was wrong. If someone asks you thisFor such questions, you can tell him \”don\’t ask\”. As adults, we sometimes tend to be confused about \”right and wrong\”. We don\’t clearly explain what is right or wrong, for fear of embarrassment or other things. The right thing to do is the right thing to do, but the right person does not need to be aggressive. If you do this wrong, it is wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, and it has nothing to do with status or age. But let the children know that such a method is wrong. If you love your children, you must educate them. If you do not educate them well, society will educate them in the future, and life will tell us: Sorry, you have neglected your duty!