The child\’s motivation for learning is very weak and he is unhappy when he goes to school. How should parents communicate?

There is a saying in the \”Tao Te Ching\”, \”Misfortune is where blessings depend.\” We have all heard this saying. It means that bad things are the backing of good things. Good things sprout in bad things. The current difficulties or pains have something lurking inside. opposing forces. I want to ask parents a question. Please think carefully before answering: Do you really believe that your child will get better? There are two answers. One is that I believe it. One is that I don’t quite believe it. If the answer is the first, I believe the child will be fine. There is no need for a “but” at the end. But the child is not studying at all now, but the child is playing with his mobile phone in black and white, but the child has not gone to school for two months… \”But\” the following questions are not a problem, provided that the parents really believe in their children , he will get better one day, and only by believing, can we work together to find ways to help the child. I cannot help a parent who \”doubts the child all the time.\” At this stage, firmly believing in children is the greatest strength. Today I would like to share a specific communication detail. My child always asks for leave and has three days off the previous day. He is very unhappy when he goes to school. Various situations always happen, including criticism from teachers and bad relationships with classmates. In this situation, parents How should we communicate? You must first understand the child. Don’t say this: going to school is your own business. You will always meet teachers and classmates you don’t like in school. In the future, you will also meet many people you don’t like in society. People in society are much more complicated than those in school. . Don\’t worry about what others say or do, just learn what you do. If you pass the exam, won\’t the teacher stop criticizing you and your classmates won\’t laugh at you? If you get used to saying this, then over time, your child will become less and less willing to talk to you. His negative emotions will not be released and his parents will not understand him. Instead, he will block them back with a bunch of reasons. Put yourself in our shoes, when we encounter bad things at work, such as annoying bosses or colleagues, when we share them with our families, we want to hear them say, \”Just don\’t care about them. Do your job well and take care of yourself.\” If the business is done well, won’t the boss stop looking for trouble? Don’t your colleagues look down on you?” When you hear this, you not only feel less relieved, but also feel more depressed. It\’s the same feeling for children. When children encounter difficulties in learning or school, parents must first express their understanding: I see that you are very angry today. Did something unhappy happen? Then there is a high probability that the child will complain. Listen carefully to his complaint and don\’t rush to interrupt until he finishes speaking. After the child has finished speaking, the parents can say: It’s really not easy today with so many bad things happening. No wonder you are so unhappy today. Mom (Dad) also thinks that you worked very hard today and suffered so many grievances. If you can, hug your child. There is a high probability that at this time, his emotions will be seen and understood, and his anger will dissipate a lot. Then you can chat calmly, talk about classmates or teachers, and share some of your thoughts and feelings. Only in this way will children be willing to listen to their parents. In fact, if you want to understand your children, it is really simple. You just need to see more of their emotions and understand them more.First, feel sorry for your child, and then be willing to work with him to find a solution and stand with him instead of rushing to blame the child and make excuses. This is the greatest meaning of family, so that children can feel loved. To be reasonable, in the eyes of children, it means that parents deny themselves, and parents also think that I am not good. Being rejected by the person you love most is a very painful thing. Nowadays, there are very, very many children who are tired of studying. I know every parent is anxious, but it takes a lot of time to understand a child.