The critical period for children’s personality formation is before the age of 12. Never do these 4 things

Dr. Maria Montessori, an Italian early childhood educator, once said: \”Every character defect is caused by childhood misfortunes!\” The few years after a child is born are a very critical period for character formation. For a child, what he experiences in the first two to three years after birth may affect him throughout his life. Professor Li Meijin of the People’s Public Security University of China once mentioned that in a child’s education, character is more important than intelligence. She once specifically emphasized that the period before the age of 12 is a critical period for the development of a child\’s character. Character determines the fate of a child, and the parenting style determines the child\’s character. Here, I would like to remind all parents: Never force your children to do these 4 things at the best age for developing their children’s personalities. Forcing children not to cry. I remember once I went to Kuang Supermarket and saw a little boy crying and pestering his mother to buy toys. The mother next to him seemed very impatient. She frowned and reprimanded loudly: \”Don\’t cry. If you don\’t want to leave, then you can stay here! I don\’t want you anymore!\” After the mother said this, she left without turning her head. The child suddenly panicked and was frightened. Crying and looking for my mother. For children under the age of 6, nothing is more important than their mother not wanting them. But parents always threaten their children with the things they fear most. What to do if your child is introverted PDF download [HD scan version 34.6M] Dr. Montessori said: Every personality defect is caused by some kind of wrong treatment experienced by children in their early years. Psychology also believes that any kind of mental illness is traced back to the trauma suffered in childhood. A casual word or action from a parent may leave a huge shadow in a child\’s heart, affecting the child\’s psychology and spirit throughout his life. Every time a child cries, there are reasons and needs behind it. Whether it is a boy or a girl, the emotion of crying should be accepted by parents and should not be denied or forced not to cry. If parents force their children not to cry, in the long run, the children\’s emotions will be suppressed, which can easily lead to character defects. The emotions accumulated over a long period of time will stay in the child\’s heart for a long time, and one day they will burst out in unexpected ways. Data research shows that 85% to 95% of a child’s personality is formed between the ages of 3 and 6. At this stage, the child’s personality is in its infancy and is very malleable, so in psychology this stage is also called the “wet cement period” \”. If during this period the child is exposed to injury, violence or other disorders, his or her personality may deviate. A child\’s future character is often hidden in the words and deeds of his parents. The child\’s mind is absorbent. Sometimes, a parent\’s words may change the child\’s lifelong personality. Forcing children to share Sharing is a very difficult thing for 2 or 3-year-old children. Toys and snacks that are insignificant in the eyes of adults are, to children, the source of their sense of security. As adults, we often want our children to be more \”generous\” and force them to share their own belongings. Even if a child is unwilling to share, children before the age of 6 should not be labeled \”selfish\” or \”stingy\” by adults. Sharing should be voluntaryOn the basis of sharing, if the child is young and does not understand the meaning of sharing, parents cannot force the child to share. Dr. Montessori pointed out that children will enter a sensitive period of self-awareness after the age of 2, be able to distinguish between \”mine\” and \”others\’\”, and have a sense of property rights. The sensitive period of children\’s property rights is a normal psychological phenomenon. During the sensitive period, they will have an obvious \”me-centered\” consciousness. It often starts from \”I\”, everything is mine, and there is no concept of sharing. It is necessary to guide children to share, but you must know that sharing comes from the heart\’s desire, rather than \”sacrifice\” the child\’s happiness to wrong the child. Use emotions to force children to obey When faced with their children\’s naughty or disobedient behavior, many parents will say, \”If you don\’t obey, I will be angry.\” Parents must be thinking that if their children know that I am angry, they will be obedient, but this is not the case. The consequences of disciplining children with emotions are actually very \”destructive\”. Experts in education once said: If parents often say \”I\’m angry\” to children before the age of 6, it will cause the children to develop a negative personality. If parents educate their children with emotions for a long time, they will develop an inferiority complex and even become a people-pleasing personality. Parents who lose their temper often have children whose tempers are not much better. Using random expression of emotions as a means to control children is destined to prevent children from having a happy childhood. Disciplining children with emotions, and what should be said properly, can easily increase the \”smell of gunpowder\” due to the influence of emotions. This will only create more troubles and make children have a confrontational mentality. Children can sense your emotions very sensitively. If you lose your temper with your child frequently, your child may start to please you for your needs. Are such \”good\” children really what we want? The road to raising children is long and tiring. It is difficult for every parent to avoid losing their temper at all, but at least they must control their emotions within a reasonable range. Parents with high emotional intelligence can control their emotions well when talking to their children; even when they are angry, they will wait for themselves to calm down before talking to their children calmly and rationally. Understand what children say, say less negative words and more positive words. Parents\’ good mood will affect their children\’s personality. Dr. Montessori said that everything we do to children will bear fruit, not only affecting his life, but even determining his life. Forcing children to say hello to the aunt they meet later is a good friend of their mother. When they meet, they should take the initiative to say \”Hello aunt!\” \”Hurry up? Why are you so stupid?\” These \”Chinese politenesses\” of forcing children to say hello are actually There are many harmful effects, some of which may have a negative impact on children and be detrimental to their own growth. At normal gatherings, many parents bring their children to attend, and they greet their children as soon as they enter. At this time, most of the children will shrink back and look warily at the unfamiliar faces. Parents will immediately feel embarrassed. In fact, it is normal for children to show a certain degree of \”fear of life\” behavior. This is because children\’s cognitive level has developed to a certain stage and they can distinguish between acquaintances and strangers, and then they will have distance in front of strangers.feel. The vigilance mentality that children develop in the early childhood stage of 0-6 years old is their innate ability to protect themselves; through this ability, they gradually learn to distinguish and trust others. Many elders prefer cheerful and lively children. When they see a child who is \”shy of life\”, they will say in a negative or negative tone: \”This child can\’t speak\” or \”This child is too introverted\”… At this time, as parents, you must not Forcing children to say hello to cater to the mentality of their elders, in the eyes of adults, saying hello is nothing more than words. But for children, they need to be given enough time to adapt to unfamiliar situations. Methods and techniques for managing children\’s emotions Parenting books How to cultivate children with high emotional intelligence Ultra-clear PDF Parents must stand on their children\’s side and use a positive attitude to protect their children when others imply that their children do not say hello. You can respond in a friendly way: \”It\’s not that the child doesn\’t like to say hello, he just doesn\’t want to talk now. I\’ll say hello when he\’s ready.\” Protecting your child\’s self-esteem means protecting your child\’s young mind. Only when a child\’s mind is enriched can he develop a good character. Educating children is a long practice for parents. Your behavior is visible to your children, and your example is a role model for them. Parents are their children\’s first teachers, and every word and deed determines their child\’s growth trajectory. Because there is love in your heart, every word must be said well.