The cruel truth at the end of Dear Child: The fate of the child is written in the mother’s character

\”Dear Child\” has its finale. He He\’s life and death touched the hearts of countless viewers. But the most worrying thing is her mother Fang Yinuo. She was pregnant in October and gave birth to a daughter. However, she encountered a marital change and became a single mother. Taking her daughter into her new home, happiness had just begun, but she was teased by fate again. Perhaps when we become mothers, we dare to admit that maternal love has no bottom line and no upper limit… When the hope of donation was dashed, she put aside her dignity and knelt at the door of the doctor\’s house to beg. Because of her selfless love, she even wanted to selfishly decide to sacrifice another flesh and blood. It was also the power of love that made her stagger into her daughter\’s ward without taking any rest after the miscarriage. Xiao Lu hit the nail on the head: You are a good mother and you owe nothing to any child. Shanghai Animation Film Studio has a large collection of domestic classic cartoons that must be treasured. This sentence really hits the heart of every mother. When we try our best to give more love, isn’t it because we worry about the feeling of indebtedness? It\’s just that every mother\’s expression is different, and the child\’s life is also different. Fang Yinuo\’s mother is a picky and calculating mother who doesn\’t let others go, and can\’t let herself go. The fact that Yinuo\’s marriage has come to this day has an invisible connection with her mother\’s parenting style. In her life, Mother Fang always magnifies details, calculates mistakes, and creates anxiety. Under the influence of what she hears and sees, her daughter will become another person. Psychotherapy master Whitaker once said: Marriage is two people brainwashed by their original family, repeating what they learned from their parents. My daughter’s marriage exactly explains this sentence. Xiao Lu forgot to add salt when cooking noodles for Yinuo, and Yinuo immediately turned his face away. Even if Xiao Lu wanted to take it back, Yinuo waved his hand: No need, who else can you count on? In reality, there are many people like Yinuo. It\’s not that they like to find faults, it\’s just that they\’ve known each other since they were young. A teacher friend once talked about a child in his class who was very critical. When a classmate drew a flower on the blackboard, she would comment: The painting was too ugly. When a classmate bought a new hairpin, she looked disgusted: The color is not good-looking. Gradually, everyone distanced themselves from her because it was too uncomfortable to be her friend. Doesn\’t she feel uncomfortable? The pencil case broke and I blamed myself for being careless. She would get nervous even if she had a hole in her clothes, fearing that her mother would criticize her. My friend feels sorry for her child. When she picks on others, she is also picking on herself. But no one can do it impeccably from beginning to end. If a child persists in his obsession, he will not be defeated by the problem, but will be self-defeated by the problem. Because the process of pursuing expectations is itself pursuing disappointment and anger. If we want our children to relax, we must refuse to be picky mothers. First of all, we must admit that ideal expectations are not achievable in just one jump. Secondly, if you want to correct mistakes, say less \”should\” and \”why not\” and instead say \”it doesn\’t matter if…\”. Only when you see problems, know how to forgive, and children accept themselves, will they be accepted by others. Xiao Lu’s mother, a free-ranging mother, may make mistakes if she doesn’t educate her children correctly. In “Dear Child”, Li Caiping is not a bad mother-in-law, but her education is worthy of reflection. She helped Xiao Lu take care of the children, while Xiao Lu\’s younger brother came over to eat and drink, smoke, lie on the sofa and throw away garbage at her sister-in-law\’s house. The whole family has to take care of Yinuo and the children, as well as serve him. But Li Caiping did notSeeing the problem, he helped the child to solve the problem: he had diarrhea these days. We think that a free-range mother means: not caring about her children. But in fact, a free-range mother is: pampering her children. In other words, instead of telling my children what to do, I might as well do it myself. When a child does something wrong, instead of educating him, he makes excuses. With this kind of parenting concept, children are free and unrestrained when they are young, but when they grow up, they tend to shirk their responsibilities and are uneducated. Xiao Lu\’s marriage came to an end, which was the bitter fruit of his habitual avoidance of responsibilities. There is a scene in the play where Xiao Lu smokes and listens to music downstairs at home after get off work. Yinuo called and asked if he would come back for dinner? Hearing the child crying on the other end of the phone, he quickly lied: He was still working overtime and wouldn\’t go back. So, he drove the car to the unit to hide for a while. It\’s not that he didn\’t think that he should fulfill his responsibilities as a husband, but when he thought about the hard work, he shifted the responsibility to others. Many parents don’t realize that parenting and education are two different things. Parenting is about love and attention. Education, on the other hand, helps children develop a sound personality through discipline, through rules, consequences, and even saying no with dignity. If these are missing, a painful lesson awaits the family. I once saw a news story about a 10-year-old boy from Sichuan fighting the police with a knife. The reason was simply that he was dissatisfied with the small hotel his mother booked for a family trip. My mother was almost killed because she didn\’t change to a good hotel in time. What is even more tragic is that the child stabbed someone with a knife, but the mother did not dare to show her face out of fear. Wu Zhihong said: In an indulgent family, the consequences for children are inability to be independent, severe low self-esteem, and selfishness. If they don\’t get dignity in society, they will intensify their efforts to torture their families. How to help children better adapt to society, free-range mothers should be aware of three things. The first point is that if we grow up without any major problems, it does not mean that our children do not need education. The second point is that love is not a constant physical effort, but requires mental wisdom and constant thinking and decision-making. Correct guidance requires long-term supervision, requirements, punishment, and even corrections without fear of conflict. The third point is that before the age of 2, children are willful by nature. After the age of 2, rules, rules, habits, and conduct are as important as learning. Any bad behavior must be restrained so that it does not become a bad habit. Zhu Zhu’s mother, a controlling mother who always obeys but always resists the day when Zhu Zhu’s mother appears, creates a depressing atmosphere. Whenever my daughter puts on lipstick, she has to cover it up for fear of being discovered. And after being discovered, he had to explain carefully: he looked good. But her mother didn\’t listen at all, and ordered her to wipe it off immediately, and also lectured her: girls who have skills don\’t need to put on makeup. As a mother, it cannot be said that she does not love her children. Just a controlling mother whose love is based on obedience. The book \”The Neglected Child\” points out: Controlling parents do not consider their children\’s needs, temperament, and feelings. They will only ask their children according to their own expectations. Unfortunately, the more you try to control your children, the more often they lose control. Xiao Lu gave her lipstick and sent her home, which made her feel pampered. Eating from roadside stalls, climbing over fences on the road, and doing things her mother wouldn\’t allow her all made her feel the sweetness of rebellion. She was willing to destroy other people\’s families to get the attention that her mother should have given her. nowThere are so many \”pearls\” in reality, calling for mother\’s love in a decisive way. In the past few days, a little boy in Shenzhen ran away from home in a car. After being discovered by the bus driver, he contacted the child\’s mother, but the mother never showed up. When faced with the call from the police, the mother wanted to take the opportunity to teach her child a lesson, so she replied: Reflect on it at the police station. But the message the child interprets is that he is not loved. A female teacher attended a party and wore an off-shoulder dress. As a result, my mother blocked the door, scolding me like a street girl, and recording her at the same time. After a while, Dad was morally humiliated by the family: Those who were harassed were all wearing scantily clad clothes. In order not to be late for the party, she compromised and changed her clothes, and saw her parents smiling proudly. That night she wrote a letter of resignation, leaving her stable job behind and just wanted to live for herself. Because, growing up, she was just a doll that obeyed orders. Even if you become a pleaser, you will still be picked on. These stories are much the same, but the ending is a unified rebellion and breakup. In fact, for the sake of our children, we need to think about what is most appropriate. Children are not the providers of our sense of security and worth, nor are they the dream machines for our parents. When he suppresses his true self and tries his best to live up to what his parents expect, the more he loves you, the more he hurts himself. Dong Fan’s mother, the conscious mother who is guided by attention and the source of her children’s happiness. Dong Fan’s mother is truly “other people’s mother”. After Xiao Lu\’s daughter fell ill, he spent less and less time with Dong Fan. In order to defend her marriage, Dink decided to have children. The mother saw through her daughter\’s little thoughts and gently woke her up. If you decide to have a child, your parents will support you unconditionally, so you don’t have to worry. If you make impulsive decisions just to win favor, you will pay a huge price in the future. A few words are enough to prove that a sober mother is the guiding light for a child\’s happiness in life. Because of his mother\’s generosity and rationality, Dong Fan has a high emotional intelligence that surpasses girls of the same age. After hearing that Yinuo had a miscarriage, Xiao Lu was reported again and was unable to undergo in vitro fertilization. She was able to put aside her grievances, stand with Xiao Lu, and face it together. In order to save children with leukemia like Xiao Lu\’s daughter, she used newspaper resources, interviewed and wrote reports, just to find donors. The more she doesn\’t care about anything at critical moments, the more likely she will be able to retain her husband\’s heart. The ups and downs of marriage are the hand-holding after seeing through, and the mother\’s upbringing is the source of happiness. How happy is it to have a sober mother? In one episode of the variety show \”Youth Talk\”, a sensible son thanked his single mother for her 10 years of dedication. He wanted to use his time in high school to take care of his mother more, but her mother refused with tears and told his son: Because I love you, my mother doesn\’t feel hard. But you belong to yourself, not to me. Walking your own path is the best care for your mother. Where does the child\’s obedience come from? Not kidnapping, controlling, commanding, but accepting with sincerity. Sober parents are good at two things: not burdening their children and guiding them to look forward. A child\’s life is outside the home, and the best love is to watch the child leave with a pattern. There is a saying in the educational documentary \”Mirror\”: \”I am a mirror. My face can reflect how loyal I am to my parents. How similar I am to them, both in appearance and in my heart.\” Parents.Giving children life also quietly affects their destiny. This is an indisputable fact, and it can also be an awakening. Only by detecting and correcting can we leave precious wealth to our children. Otherwise, what the child learns is the inheritance of harm.